IVF Bad Because Them Babies Is Made Out Of Porn Jizzlets, Says Family Research Council

We've been telling you these people are lunatics.

This is what your dad was watching when he made you.

This week, Republican Senators Ted Cruz and Katie Britt introduced a bill to protect Republicans from an electoral smackdown in November IVF. Yep, they’re still freaked about what happened when the Alabama state supreme court decided to outlaw IVF and be legends and all of America got a good reminder that Republicans are fucking lunatics who want to be the fascist dictators of what’s inside your underpants.

But it turns out, Ted Cruz and Katie Britt shouldn’t bother, because IVF is bad, and IVF is a sin, because you know how IVF babies are made? Well first a daddy goes into a room all by himself and he watches a movie called “Hot Teacher Shows Naughty Student The Old Razzle Dazzle,” yanks his crank, has a sin-splosion in a cup, and then a doctor takes over and makes a petri dish pregnant, and Jesus isn’t present for ANY of it, not like when good Christian mommies and daddies are exchanging loads the holy way.

Thank goodness this lady named Mary Szoch from the Family Research Council (Christian extremist hate group) is here to sexsplain:

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Szoch said:

“Pornography is an integral part of the IVF process. And the husband’s use of pornography is typically how sperm is obtained. That’s not good for a marriage. We know that pornography goes against what God tells us about the dignity of men and women and the marital act.”

Now you know what conservative Christians REALLY mean when they talk about the stain of original sin.

Would you still even want to be a newborn baby if you found out your dad watched “Booby-Gobbling Prison MILFs 6” when he was doing his part to conceive you?

We thought not.

OPEN THREAD.

[video via Right Wing Watch / h/t JoeMyGod]

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