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James Comer Weren't Never Gonna Hold Chris Wray In Contempt, Y'all, He Was Just Funnin'!
He says the FBI caved to his wishes. You betcha.
Today was supposed to be the day! House Oversight Committee Chair James Comer was going to strum the banjo of CONTEMPT at FBI Director Christopher Wray, because Wray refused to give Republicans personal copies of the Russian spy reports that prove Joe Biden did stinky bribery foreign stuff, according to Russian spies.
He was gonna do it, y'all! Jamie Comer was gonna do it today! He was gon' get him! Gon' get him! He was gon' get him! He was ridin' through the streets of town on the back of an elegant Kentucky pony, and he was going to come get Chris Wray!
But now he isn't! Praise baby Jesus, we guess Comer was just funnin' this whole time.
The FBI is gonna let all the Republicans on the committee take big whiffs of Rudy Giuliani's Russian spy farts, also, or maybe mash them up into a paste and snort it. That's all Jamie ever wanted. (The Democrats get to look at the form too, but it doesn't get them high the way it does Marjorie Taylor Greene or Nancy Mace.)
Oversight Committee Chair James Comer (R-Ky.) said in a statement the FBI accepted his demand to let all his panel's members review a 2020 document detailing allegations against President Biden available.
"After weeks of refusing to even admit the FD-1023 record exists, the FBI has caved," Comer said, calling it "an important step toward conducting oversight of the FBI."
See, it's fine? Everybody's happy now! Also it's not entirely clear the entire House of Representatives would have voted to hold the FBI director in contempt for refusing to bring jars of Rudy Giuliani's Russian spy farts for the entire class to share, but everybody's happy now! They caved!
Of course, what Comer has been demanding has been that the FBI hand over the document that, according to committee ranking member Jamie Raskin, is just full of the same discredited and debunked bullshit about the Bidens in Ukraine that Russian spies spent 2018 and 2019 stuffing inside Rudy Giuliani's underpants, the stuff Bill Barr's Justice Department found to be an absolute bullshit waste of time.
Instead, the FBI is going to let all the idiots, and all the Democrats too, view the document in a secure location.
And stop saying this investigation is going nowhere, or that the FBI's source that says Joe Biden did stinky stuff isn't credible! They're very, very credible!
Comer added that the allegations in the record are not "closed," and reiterated that the committee's confidential human source was "highly credible and trusted."
"The allegations contained within this record track closely with the Oversight Committee’s investigation of the Biden family’s influence peddling schemes. The Oversight Committee will continue to follow the facts and ensure accountability for the American people," he said.
As Jamie Raskin has explained, the source is indeed credible, according to the FBI. And the source is merely sharing what they've heard randos in Ukraine say — the same randos who have been blowing Russian spy farts into Rudy's butt. Indeed, the source literally said they couldn't vouch for the accuracy of these things the Russian spy farts were saying.
This is how James Comer is lying to you by omission, because he's stupid, and he thinks you're stupid just like him and his colleagues and the idiots who voted them into office.
If you want to read more about this, James Comer released a statement. Surprise, it is all Russian spy farts and Deliverance banjos. Jamie Raskin also issued a statement, for those of us who live in the real world. It is about how the FBI is really being patient right now, dealing with a dumbfucking moron like James Comer, or at least that is how we are reading it.
“In the spirit of good faith, the FBI has offered Chairman Comer yet further accommodations in response to his subpoena, including to allow all Oversight Committee Members to review in camera the second-hand allegations by Ukrainian individuals reported in the tip sheet. Chairman Comer’s acceptance of these further accommodations comes after he has spent weeks attacking the FBI despite its extraordinary efforts to provide Committee Republicans the information they claim to seek.
Then it debunked some of Comer's lies again some more, explaining how Bill Barr assigned US Attorney Scott Brady to examine Rudy Giuliani's Russian spy farts from Ukraine, and in August 2020, the FBI, Brady and others in the Trump Justice Department shut down the Department Of Rudy, because there was nothing there.
But James Comer gonna keep fuckin' this chicken, because it's the only chicken he's got to fuck, and as the traditional Kentucky expression goes, you fuck the chicken you got, not the chicken you wish you got.
This goddamned idiot.
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