CONFIRMED: James Comer Just Sniffing Rudy Giuliani's Russian Spy Farts And Calling It A Biden Investigation
Thank you, Jamie Raskin.
Ready for your update on House Oversight Committee Chair James Comer's very serious investigation into Joe Biden?
OK well FIRST OF ALL, despite what we may have written previously, it is definitely NOT just Comer sitting in a corner playing a Deliverance banjo while he roasts Rudy Giuliani's Russian spy farts over an open flame. He's not in the corner at all! He's whoring himself out on every TV show that'll have him. Every five seconds his idiot-looking square head is on the TV, with his resting "I did an accident and I just smelled it" face, saying absolutely nothing .
Oh, he wants you to be pretty sure he's sayin' somethin'. Look at this hick.
“The White House is confused about the facts. The FBI confirmed the serious allegations against then-VP Biden were from a credible informant with years of experience. No amount of spin from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue can change this. I will hold the FBI accountable. @SeanHannity”
— Rep. James Comer (@Rep. James Comer) 1686015954
Right now, Comer is angrily strumming his banjo at FBI Director Chris Wray, because he clearly believes Wray is not adequately respecting his authori-tah. He said yesterday that he's going to take up a contempt motion against Wray on Thursday, because Wray won't just surrender this FD-1023 form he wants, which he swears PROVES that Joe Biden took [money] from [somebody] who is [foreign] in exchange for [thing]. That's what Comer has been saying on the TV all this time! (He refuses to say specifically what the form says or which Russian spy is making the allegations, most likely because it is all Rudy Giuliani's recycled Russian spy farts from before the 2020 election. If James Comer said that out loud, everybody would laugh at him, even more than they are right now.)
Has James Comer Just Been Begging FBI To Let Him Sniff Rudy's Russian Spy Farts This Whole Time?
It's not that Wray is bogarting the form. He let Comer and Democratic committee ranking member Jamie Raskin see it. And because Jamie Raskin saw it, he was able to confirm that it is ... Rudy Giuliani's recycled wet Russian spy farts.
Here Comer is yesterday after he saw the form, announcing his plans to hold Wray in contempt for refusing to give the form to the whole committee. He swore his investigation is NOT DEAD, dammit, NOT DEAD. (When you have to insist your investigation isn't dead, it's not a good sign.)
“Chair James Comer announces the House Oversight Committee will conduct contempt of Congress hearings for FBI officials on Thursday over documents relating to the investigation into Hunter Biden: “The investigation is not dead. This is only the beginning.””
— The Recount (@The Recount) 1685985055
Raskin also spoke afterward, and issued a statement . Know how we always make fun of how when Comer and his idiots speak there are never any proper nouns, action verbs, or specific accusations? They're all here in Raskin's statement:
Chairman Comer has declared his intent to hold Director Wray in contempt of Congress to further promote debunked Republican conspiracy theories.
But here are the facts: the FD-1023 form, which we reviewed first-hand today, records what a Confidential Human Source told the FBI about conversations he had with individuals in Ukraine. The source, who has been described as highly credible by the FBI, told the FBI he could not provide any opinion on the underlying veracity of the information provided by these Ukrainian individuals.
If we may quickly interject. You will hear Comer and other of his paste-eating dipshits talk about how credible the source is, without telling us what that source's allegations consist of. Note here that Raskin is giving us the full story that Comer and his merry band of chickenfuckers are lying by omitting. The source is credible. The source described what people in Ukraine told him. The source said they couldn't vouch for the veracity of what those people said.
But it's what those people said to the source — and what they said to Rudy Giuliani — that Comer and his friends with their thumbs up their asses are interested in. As Raskin continues to explain:
Trump's own Department of Justice was able to reach a conclusion about this information.
Oh?
In January 2020, Attorney General [Bill] Barr handpicked Scott Brady, the U.S. Attorney in Pittsburgh, to review allegations by Rudy Giuliani
Yep.
that President Biden and Hunter Biden were involved in a Ukrainian corruption scheme. As part of this assessment, U.S. Attorney Brady, together with a team of experienced prosecutors and FBI agents, assessed relevant information, including interviewing this Confidential Human Source — an interview that was recorded in the subpoenaed FD-1023 form. Much of the information provided by the source was information Mr. Giuliani had already provided the FBI. In August 2020, Attorney General Barr and his hand-picked U. S. Attorney signed off on closing the assessment, having found no evidence to corroborate Mr. Giuliani's allegations.
Rudy Giuliani might not care if Russian spies are breathing lies up his chram — and James Comer may not either! — but not even Trump's Justice Department could stomach this.
We now know what I had long suspected: that Chairman Comer's subpoena is about recycling stale and debunked Burisma conspiracy theories long peddled by Rudy Giuliani and a Russian agent, sanctioned by former President Trump's own Treasury Department, as part of the effort to smear President Biden and help Mr. Trump's reelection campaign.
In other words, James Comer's grand plan to help Donald Trump steal the 2024 election is the same as Rudy Giuliani's grand plan to help Trump steal the 2020 election, with literally the exact same manufactured Russian spy lies about the Bidens that Rudy crazy-waddled around Ukraine to collect, the same Russian spy lies Trump tried to force Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy to announce investigations into in exchange for protection from Russia.
Literally the crimes Trump was impeached for the first time.
It's all the same.
And if it seems stupider now, it's just because James Comer is much stupider, he looks stupider, and oh boy does he sound stupider.
And so are his minions, like Reps. Anna Paulina Luna, Nancy Mace, Lauren Boebert, and of course, Marjorie Taylor Greene. They are of course crowing about this, as they've been instructed.
By the way, we should also note that those same dirty motherfuckers are being extremely dishonest about the FBI's fears that the source will be in danger if they are unmasked, acting like they would somehow face retaliation from the Biden administration. Raskin addresses that in his statement, saying the FBI explained at length that revealing this source's identity could put them in danger and also compromise investigations .
Of course, that information comes across a bit differently when you understand that the very credible source isn't the one making allegations against the Bidens, but merely relaying what they've heard from the same people who have been breathing lies into Rudy's underpants.
But James Comer, Anna Paulina Luna, Nancy Mace, Lauren Boebert, and Marjorie Taylor Greene would never tell you that. They care more about hurting Joe Biden than they do about protecting national security.
That's just the kind of Americans they are.
Rudy Giuliani: Americans Deserve To Hear My Easily Debunked Russian Spy Lies!
Rudy And Ron Johnson Blew Off FBI Warnings About Russian Spies Because PFFFFFFFT DEEP STATE!
Aw, Rudy Giuliani Thinks He's Helping!
We Need To Talk More About The 'Deliverable' Trump Wanted From Ukraine
[ Raskin statement ]
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
Just got to BlueSky!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.
Have you heard that Wonkette DOES NOT EXIST without your donations? Please hear it now, and if you have ever enjoyed a Wonkette article, throw us some bucks, or better yet, SUBSCRIBE!
Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons .
so do Comer, Hannity and Newt Gingrich come from the same white-haired meathead-face factory?
Comer sees himself as King Kong with Wray in his hand.