James O'Keefe's Dildo Lube Boat Runs Aground Maybe For Last Time

He's not dead. Project Veritas just fired him.

It's funny to read a headline about the board of Project Veritas ousting James O'Keefe and kicking him out on his ass. Board? Firing O'Keefe? Is Project Veritas some kind of real entity and not just the name that weirdo gave to his "me" time?

But yes, we guess Project Veritas grew into an entire organization of selective editing and dishonest conservative propaganda bullshit, with a board and donors and everything. We had a thing a couple weeks back on how the organization hated him so much he was put on a paid leave of absence. An internal memo painted a picture of an O'Keefe who had become completely paranoid and a "power drunk tyrant," who stole sandwiches from pregnant women, and who was wasting donor money using Project Veritas to finance his failed theater kid dreams. He and his allies denied it all, of course.

But now we guess his dildo lube boat has run ashore for the last time, at least in its current incarnation. Maybe he can spend all his new free time auditioning for regional theater productions of Oklahoma! 

  The group’s executive director, Daniel Strack, informed some staff on Monday that O’Keefe had issued an ultimatum demanding that the board of directors resign for him to stay, according to people familiar with Strack’s account. R.C. Maxwell, a spokesman for Project Veritas, wrote on Twitter that O’Keefe “was removed from his position as CEO by the Project Veritas board.”

IF YOU'RE NOT LEAVING, I AM LEAVING! And then they said they weren't leaving and so he had to leave.

The Washington Post   reports on the speech O'Keefe delivered this morning, where he explained more about that ultimatum:

O’Keefe said he wrote a letter to the board on Feb. 16 proposing that its members resign by the end of last week “or I’ll be forced to walk away.”

“I was asked to be gone until the 20th; it is now the 20th,” he said. “I asked the board to resign for their conduct, and they did not. So currently I have no job at Project Veritas. I have no position here based on what the board has done.”

He really got them good.

Toward the end of his remarks to staff, O’Keefe choked up as he thanked his parents, recalling how he founded Project Veritas, 13 years ago, from his father’s carriage house.

Hahahahahaha.

The Washington Post says O'Keefe told employees this morning, and then "proceeded to pack up his belongings." It's too bad nobody took some hidden camera footage of that to later deceptively edit and make even funnier than it probably was. (Unless they did. This is Project Veritas after all. Aren't they kind of set up for that sort of thing? )

He hinted that he would form a rival organization, according to a video of his remarks obtained by The Washington Post, saying “the mission will perhaps take on a new name.”

Christ.

However, we weren't kidding with those jokes above asking how O'Keefe's stuffed animals could fire him or whatever. In the recent big NYMag expose on Project Veritas, a former employee said, "Quite frankly, he’s the company,” and wondered how it would exist in his absence. So if O'Keefe decides to try to make Dildo Lube Boat II: The En-Dildo-ening happen, we can see how that would kind of become the new thing, which would leave Project Veritas ... where, exactly?

Oh well, guess we'll all just have to remain hot and bothered with anticipation, like we definitely are right now.

Sorry about your terrible horrible no good very bad day, James O'Keefe, OPEN THREAD.

[ Washington Post ]

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