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LP's avatar

Martini, you outdid yourself! Brilliant. And Ed Asner would definitely approve.

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calliecallie, aka pollyanna's avatar

The header gif this morning was brilliant!

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Sister Artemis's avatar

Superb gif, Martini!

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Nacho Librul's avatar

Wonderful start this holiday week, Martini! (although I missed the Ray’s Pizza reference).

Peace and Love to all Wonkettedom 💕

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Lund-O-Matic's avatar

Thank you! To you and yours as well, also too!

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weejee's avatar

Ho, ho, ho.

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Menotsure's avatar

When in grad school as a young man I worked a number of very odd jobs. One year I worked as a backup/relief Santa in a large department store in Atlanta. I was a twenty something needing a large amount of padding and a fake beard and wig and trying to make my voice sound deeper. I tended to work the low traffic hours when most kids were not out shopping with mom so I saw mostly pre-schoolers who were largely terrified. I got peed on more than a couple of times, but fortunately had spare Santa suit parts. I never did it again.

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Sherry's avatar

David Sedaris’s story of being an elf at Christmas is hilarious.

As WC Fields said never work with children or animals.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I've played Santa, but only for ferrets, because ferrets deserve to get their picture taken with Santa also, too.

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Marty Smit's avatar

I dressed as an elf for a community group holding a children’s xmas party. Overheard two women say the three of us who dressed as elves had Peter Pan complex. Ya’, fuck you Grinches, I thought.

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Thalia Is Not Amused's avatar

That's such a sweet story! I'm glad you were a good Santa to them.

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Tommy Mo's avatar

The toddlers relieved themselves on the relief Santa. What did you expect?

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Menotsure's avatar

It was a urination revelation.

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Always Be Ithacating's avatar

Relief Santa is a lovely job title, though.

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beb's avatar

As a white beard old man I've been mistaken for Santa a time or two. Never peed on, fortunately.

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Michael's avatar

🎶"What's it all about, Elfie? "🎶

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Shananigan's avatar

Awesome! I don't usually have time to do TABS so I'm glad I managed it this morning!

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Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

Wonkette on the naughty list? Well, I never! ( I certainly have)

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Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

That GIF is the Santa's Kiss! 🎅🏾💋

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Pexas Teat's avatar

Best TABS gif ever!!! Nicely done.

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NatalyaResists's avatar

Bob Newhart is so delightful in this movie. As always.

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BECKY's avatar

Hubby loves stupid christmas movies but we never watched ELF because Will Ferrell is so goofy. We decided to watch this year and it's LOL funny and sweet and he's perfect for the part. I'm still laughing at cotton headed ninny muggins. Bob Newhart and Ed Asner are both delightful.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

"You sit on a throne of lies!"

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NatalyaResists's avatar

It is sweet, isn't it? The Candy Salad scene cracks me up.

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Alpaca Suitcase's avatar

Brilliant!

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TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

So, what elf is new?

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PrimerGray's avatar

I've just been Keebler to myself lately.

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freakishlystrong's avatar

Hands down, Peter Dinklage as angry elf never fails to reduce me to tears laughing.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

That is my favorite scene in the movie.

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Old guy named Bill (OGNB)'s avatar

Today's gif is incredible! Could not stop laughing. Thanks for a great start to the day.

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Runfastandwin's avatar

I mean is Bondi really "breaking the law" if there are no consequences other than a milquetoast lawsuit that can't get past SCROTUS? I submit no.

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RandomNameAllocated's avatar

Look, I realise grief strikes people in different ways, but Erika Kirk's seems... hmmm, unusual for a loving wife?

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Michael Bowen's avatar

<iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Ffeministnews.us%2Fposts%2Fpfbid02Hx3X6xxXp1b17BjotY5axoyDC8kfn3Uaz1cAX7wjm5pMkbDkiC6kqQXQTocKQ8Ul&show_text=true&width=500" width="500" height="609" style="border:none;overflow:hidden" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="true" allow="autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; picture-in-picture; web-share"></iframe>

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𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

Read the titles of all the other articles that are up, and retreated to the safety, all things being relative, of this one.

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Cincinnatus's avatar

Heritage Foundation staffers going to hang with Pence:

HuffPost: "A total of 13 staff members are leaving the Heritage Foundation to join Advancing American Freedom, founded by Mike Pence in 2021 as he began laying the groundwork for an ultimately unsuccessful run for president in 2024. The news comes after two Heritage board members announced they were leaving because of director Kevin Robert’s defense of conspiracy theorist Tucker Carlson's defense of Nick Fuentes, who has expressed views admiring Adolf Hitler."

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NotinTexasanymore's avatar

I wish everyone would use the Oxford Comma -- some complex sentences don't make sense if they don't have that little pause.

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Runfastandwin's avatar

have you ever read Ulysses?

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𝕺𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉's avatar

But if everyone used it, then those of us who do would not be special, thus defeating the entire purpose of the Oxford,.

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Sherry's avatar

They wanted to break the government and they didn’t care who it would hurt. That WaPo article says it all.

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Melissa's avatar

I'd CETAINLY steam clean my panties if I was married to our current president. I'd invoke the nuclear codes, too.

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Khavrinen's avatar

"ICE declared that her real birth certificate and medical records were fake "

Was she actually Kenyan?

( Hmmm, I could have sworn I've heard that allegation somewhere before.... )

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Bupkus231's avatar

Possibly mentioned elsewhere, but the Felonious Fuck is still obsessing over Greenland - and has decided to slap Denmark in the nose and appoint a "special envoy" - Jeff Landry, Governor of Louisiana. Landry has already made a public statement that he aims to make Greenland part of the US.

Apparently, Landry thinks he can do both jobs, altho' it's unclear whether he could continue as Governor once he takes the "special envoy" position ( and naming Landry to that position sure puts a new meaning of "special" )

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Sherry's avatar

Ridiculous!

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Iammymom's avatar

Plastic face piece of recycled trash Nicki Minaj trashing Newsome makes me like him even more.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

From the Slate article, the University of Florida’s student government sounds fucked out.

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Lund-O-Matic's avatar

Go Gators?

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ludus's avatar

Sorry. As good as it is to know they suffered (not enough), seeing such brutality is just horrible.

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Cincinnatus's avatar

HuffPost: "CBS News editor-in-chief Bari Weiss spoke about her decision to pull a story from Sunday’s episode of “60 Minutes,” arguing “it wasn’t ready,” according to The New York Times’ Ben Mullin.

“The story presented very powerful testimony of abuse at [the El Salvadorian prison] CECOT, but that testimony has already been reported on by places like The [New York] Times,” she said on an editorial call Monday, per Mullin. “The public knows that Venezuelans have been subjected to horrific treatment in this prison. So to run a story on this subject, two months later, we simply need to do more.”

Weiss also reportedly requested the reporters “make every effort to get the principles on the record and on camera.” Sharyn Alfonsi, who put together the segment that was pulled from the broadcast, pushed back against spiking the story due to a lack of response from officials in the Trump administration. Alfonsi said in an internal email, “If the administration’s refusal to participate becomes a valid reason to spike a story, we have effectively handed them a ‘kill switch’ for any reporting they find inconvenient.”"

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Runfastandwin's avatar

what a load a cya bs

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Darrell Leland's avatar

Thanks for the link to Slate about Katie Waldman Miller. I knew someone very much like her in high school. His family lived in a very white upper end section of town, were oil money people, and were staunch right wing republicans. He went to debate and drama competitions with a Nixon/Agnew button on his poncho. Now he's a high end lawyer specializing in corporate litigation (as in corporations suing individuals).

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