Rick Perry's got a plan, y'all! An eeeevil plan, based on stealing all the businesses out of California and bringing them to Texas -- because hell, you can do whatever you want in Texas! (Except have decent textbooks. ) Rick is obviously aiming to be the Mexico-adjacent-Mexico inside the US for all of businesses everywhere -- ESPECIALLY California. You want pollution? Rick Perry's Texas has the worst in the US! You want an impoverished population desperate to take any job even at starvation wages? Texas is your place! And sugar, no one in Texas expects medical benefits, Rick Perry's state has the highest percentage of un-covered residents of any state in the country! So! How to get that message out and into the thoughts of all business owners in California? Make a commercial!
Hey hey, we down here in Austin are treated like the goofy cousins but they sure like coming to our town because of our food, liquor and live music. We're nice, rational folks in Austin.
Paid for with Texas wages? They must think they only need to keep the executives happy. (And how easy is it to find a private school in a Jeebus-free zone?)
Of course, there's the minor problem of getting highly-educated workers to move to fucking Texas, where their kids get to learn in Texas schools, from Texas schoolbooks. (Friend of mine bailed the hell out of Floriduh, when she discovered that the local schools were rapidly turning her daughter into a numbskull.)
Did the ad specify whether you were expected to choose the drought-from-hell part of Texas, the tornado alley part, or the hurricane-prone part?
Out here in Collie-forn-ya, the collective nickname for higher taxes and housing costs is "the weather tax," and we happily pay it in exchange for the privilege of not living in Waco or Dallas or Waxahatchee. Parts of San Antonio and Austin are okay, though, and El Paso's kind of charming too.
Plus we have a higher-than-the-federal minimum wage, all <i>kinds</i> of gun laws, CEQA, and even a little teeny bit of mass transit. So be advised, Texians: you wouldn&#039;t like it here.
Texas give businesses cash incentives (thanks taxpayers!) to relocate. That&#039;s become fairly common practice among states, but the invisible hand of the market said Texas needs to offer more.
Smile.
Hey hey, we down here in Austin are treated like the goofy cousins but they sure like coming to our town because of our food, liquor and live music. We&#039;re nice, rational folks in Austin.
And the weather enervates.
Under a thick layer of rock.
Paid for with Texas wages? They must think they only need to keep the executives happy. (And how easy is it to find a private school in a Jeebus-free zone?)
Use all your fingers, get a good grip, and viola GOATEXASE
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Texas has been named the best state for doing &quot;your business&quot; in?
You can tell.
<i>Here I sit broken-hearted. Tried to shit, but only farted.</i>
--Oops Perry
<i>Why are that lady&#039;s hands between her legs like that?</i>
&quot;It&rsquo;s not a burp, it&rsquo;s barely a fart.&rdquo;
Of course, there&#039;s the minor problem of getting highly-educated workers to move to fucking Texas, where their kids get to learn in Texas schools, from Texas schoolbooks. (Friend of mine bailed the hell out of Floriduh, when she discovered that the local schools were rapidly turning her daughter into a numbskull.)
Did the ad specify whether you were expected to choose the drought-from-hell part of Texas, the tornado alley part, or the hurricane-prone part?
Named by ... who? I&#039;m guessing it&#039;s by some of the worst corporations one could have the misfortune to work for.
Out here in Collie-forn-ya, the collective nickname for higher taxes and housing costs is &quot;the weather tax,&quot; and we happily pay it in exchange for the privilege of not living in Waco or Dallas or Waxahatchee. Parts of San Antonio and Austin are okay, though, and El Paso&#039;s kind of charming too.
Plus we have a higher-than-the-federal minimum wage, all <i>kinds</i> of gun laws, CEQA, and even a little teeny bit of mass transit. So be advised, Texians: you wouldn&#039;t like it here.
&quot;It&rsquo;s not a burp, it&rsquo;s barely a fart.&rdquo;
Yeah, but it&#039;s a TEXAS fart. Stand back!
Get out the power washer again, Zeb!
I think I just did.
Texas give businesses cash incentives (thanks taxpayers!) to relocate. That&#039;s become fairly common practice among states, but the invisible hand of the market said Texas needs to offer more.