Jesse Jackson Jr. Goes To Prison, Wonders If The Pacific Is As Blue As It Is In His Dreams
It will not be a very happy Rosh Hashanah in the home of Jesse Jackson as his son, Jesse Jackson Jr., was sentenced today to two and a half years in a federal prison for the crime of being a grifter of nearly Sarah Palin-level griftiness.
The former congressman had pled guilty to the charge of using $750,000 in campaign funds to buy pretty much the entire SkyMall catalog and then some. The judge in the case rejected Jackson’s defense that the crimes were a product of his bipolar disorder, since he didn’t purchase the Rolex, the Michael Jackson memorabilia, and the fur cape (who the hell wears a fur cape outside of the mean pimp in a blacksploitation flick?) all at once in some whacked-out-brain-chemistry-fueled shopping spree. Jackson’s wife, Sandi, a former Chicago alderman who signed off on tax returns she knew fraudulently underreported the couple’s income, also was sentenced to a year in the joint. The Jacksons have two young kids, aged 13 and 9, who will now see both their parents frog-marched off to prison, which is the saddest part of this terribly sad story. We will now drink a second morning cup ofcoffeebourbon because Jesus H. Christ with a maxed-out Visa we are depressed.
INPEACH!
I am sure they will take pains to explain how the actions of one blah person, or one demoncrat, should not reflect upon the whole of blahness or demonity. Because Fair and Balanced.