Jimmy Kimmel Getting Tired Of 'Hamster-Brained' Football Players Calling Him Child Molester For Some Reason

Jimmy must not know how to take a 'joke.'

There’s a side story to the whole saga of the Epstein papers and the daily drama over who might show up in them, and why it definitely won’t matter to the MAGA idiots — who are always telling us how upset pedophilia makes them! — if it turns out Donald Trump was literally Epstein’s main wingman. This one involves Jimmy Kimmel and the fact that he’s not in those papers, there’s no evidence he should be in those papers, and literally nobody without brain damage thinks he will show up.

Noted braindead lunatic anti-vaxxer mediocre white boy Aaron Rodgers, former QB for the Green Bay Packers and currently of the New York Jets, has been babbling like a late-stage syphilis patient on every neanderthal podcast that’ll take him that Kimmel is gonna be REAL SORRY Y’ALL when all the Epstein truth comes out.

In particular, he’s been doing it on the “Pat McAfee Show,” which is ESPN’s responsibility. “There’s a lot of people, including Jimmy Kimmel, who are really hoping that doesn’t come out,” said Rodgers recently, about the Epstein associates list. Kimmel recently threatened to sue over it:

Pretty to the point. But some dudes just aren’t smart enough to shut up, so Kimmel had to spend time on his show last night explaining to his audience what this is all about.

Here is Kimmel’s monologue. He’s kind of pissed, in that way people get pissed when actual morons who nonetheless have big platforms are constantly accusing them of being or insinuating that they’re child molesters. We imagine that gets stressful for a person, or as Kimmel mentions here, for their wife and for their children and for their mailman, who have to hear from pigfucking mouthbreather QAnon people who are mad at Jimmy Kimmel because of what the walking NFL head injury has been saying.

Bet Rodgers ain’t gonna like any of that one bit.

Especially considering how it appears he probably doesn’t actually think Kimmel is a child molester, but is just extremely thin-skinned about Kimmel insinuating that he’s fucking stupid. Indeed, McAfee explained a week ago that “a clip from this particular program was run on Jimmy Kimmel’s show, whenever Aaron brought up the list, and Jimmy mocked him for it. Aaron has not forgotten about that.”

And last night, Kimmel acknowledged as much, saying Rodgers probably “just said it because he’s mad at me for making fun of his topknot and his lies about being vaccinated.”

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In the clip above from last night, which is hilarious, Kimmel hits all the high points.

He again explains that if Rodgers wants to “make false and very damaging statements like that,” he should “do it in court so he could share his proof with, like, a judge.”

He explained what kind of QAnon conspiracy theories halfwits actually believe, thanks to leading halfwits like Aaron Rodgers:

“A lot of delusional people honestly believe I am meeting up with Tom Hanks and Oprah at Shakey’s once a week to eat pizza and drink the blood of children,” Kimmel said. “I know this because I hear from these people often. My wife hears from them. My kids hear from them. My poor mailman hears from these people. And now we’re hearing from lots more of them thanks to Aaron Rodgers.”

Kimmel referred to Rodgers as “hamster-brained,” which is why we haven’t used that particular epithet and have instead used many others for Rodgers’s brain.

He talked about how Rodgers is “too arrogant to know how ignorant he is,” and explained to his audience what Dunning-Kruger Syndrome is.

He acknowledged that Aaron Rodgers is probably far too chickenshit to apologize. Here’s a nice long quote about that:

“[W]hen I do get something wrong, which happens on rare occasions, you know what I do? I apologize for it. Which is what Aaron Rodgers should do. Which is what a decent person would do. But I bet he won’t. If he does, you know what I’ll do, I’ll accept his apology and move on. But he probably won’t do that.”

And he gave some gentle advice to well-meaning conservatives who might have nonetheless fallen in with the wrong crowd and accidentally gotten groomed by people who spread QAnon conspiracy theories about pedophiles to smear their opponents, which kind of suggests those people don’t actually care about real kids who are sexually abused. (If they did, they’d be protesting outside predominantly white conservative Christian churches!)

“If you are a member of a group that thinks it’s OK to randomly call someone a child molester because you don’t like what that person has to say, maybe you should rethink being part of that group,” he said.

In response, whatever child journalist Fox News recruited from Sunday school at the Cow Romance Holy Evangelical Southern Baptist Megachurch to write this story called it a “wild attack” from Kimmel, on Rodgers.

Enjoy all of Jimmy’s “wild attack” above. Golly, he just can’t take a joke, can he!

[HuffPost / NBC News]

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Evan Hurst on Twitter right here. 

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