Happy Monday, what are we reading today?
DHS shot a US citizen, 23-year-old Reuben Ray Martinez, on South Padre Island last March, have spent the past eight months trying to cover up their involvement. (Texas Tribune)
Tucker Austin Martin of North Carolina, 21, was fatally shot after breaching the perimeter at Mar-a-Lago with a shotgun and a gas can. (Daily Mail)
Officials in Social Circle, Georgia have released horrifying plans from DHS of the 8,500-capacity torture jail it hopes to a covert a local warehouse into. The first floor plan is below. (Philadelphia Inquirer archive link / GPB)
DHS and other government agencies have been collecting biometric face, iris and fingerprint scans, and now they’re trying to build the human-body-parts search engine to go with it. (Wired)
Another study has found 77 percent of people detained by ICE had no criminal convictions, and of those who did, the majority were for traffic offenses. They meme because they have no data! (The Guardian)
Not enough money in the budget for education, food, healthcare, etc. yet dumbshit Pete Hegseth asked for a 50 percent increase for the WAR Department and got it! And now is struggling to figure out what to spend an extra $500 BILLION in one year on like some kind of not-funny “Brewster’s Millions.” (Washington Post gift link)
The Danish military provided emergency medical care for a US submarine sailor. Then Trump posted AI slop of the USNS Mercy, though it has been in dry dock for maintenance, as is the Navy’s other hospital boat, the USNS Comfort.
Danish Defense Minister Troels Lund Poulsen said he had no idea what Trump was talking about, obviously no boat ever arrived, and Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen non-specifically noted on Facebook that she is “happy to live in a country where there is free and equal access to health for all. Where it’s not insurances and wealth that determine whether you get proper treatment.” Yeah, rub it in. (Military Times / gCaptain)
Speaking of paying more, after the Supreme Court said he can’t do emergency tariffs, Trump declared them a DISGRACE, and just to spite ‘em he’s going to do a higher, universal 15 percent tax under different legal auspices. No cheap dolls or pencils allowed, America! (WSJ gift link)
The Georgia Board of Elections found voter fraud in 2024! It was Elon Musk’s PAC, illegally sending pre-filled absentee ballot applications to voters! Musk has been reprimanded by letter. (11Alive)
Condemnation and concern from The League of Arab States, including Saudi Arabia and Qatar, after US Ambassador to Israel / Christian Zionist Mike Huckabee told Tucker Carlson it would be just fine if Israel took over the entire Middle East. How long can Trump keep grifting on all sides? Join his Peace Board, give him a billion bucks and a plane and maybe he’ll tell you! (NBC)
Mexican security forces killed alleged drug kingpin Nemesio “El Mencho” Rubén Oseguera Cervantes, creating a widespread security situation. (PBS)
Every day, another Trump tantrum or twelve: Saturday’s scream was that Netflix has to remove Susan Rice from their board or “pay the consequences”:
The angriest, boringest man alive.
Kash Patel took a government jet to Milan for what he claimed was a work trip. Italian law enforcement just coincidentally needed his big-brain crime-solving expertise at the exact same time as the men’s Olympic ice hockey final! Then he partied in the locker room like a toddler on go-go juice in the locker room. (CBS)
I… can’t even.
But yes! The US men’s team AND the US women’s teams BOTH beat Canada in ice hockey to win gold at the Olympics last weekend, so that is nice! (NPR)
John Barron is back, and watching a lot of television.
Sure does sound like him.
The line between truth and satire sure does get blurry.
More to come, so keep hanging!











Binlet twinlets! More hed gif info here: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/boots-is-a-big-sister
And the meme chat link: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/f1f89b91-e9ae-4706-a942-1a2d7a8321cc
“A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.” - Dwight D. Eisenhower