What do we always know about America's myriad unsolved problems? They are the fault of the illegalz. Recently, the illegalz have been trying to burn down all of Arizona with their chronic pyromaniac ruthlessness, according to senior desert wildfire detective Sen. John McCain. Asked by reporters at a press conference, "what's the deal and how will you fix these insane wildfires," he said what all Arizona GOP politicians say when they are too old and senile to actually hear and understand the questions anymore: "IT'S THE BORDER." Old Grunty McWalnuts felt "evidence" was sort of a high standard of proof, so he went with "probably it was these things" like immigrants lighting fires at night to stay warm or send signals. Uh, okay! Aliens would rather start fires in the desert that they usually like to use for walking over from Mexico, because it is fun when it is exponentially more lethal to cross than ever before.
He's going to market his own brand of tea, just like Limburger. It will be aged, bitter, and hard to keep down. His wife suggested "Hurl Grey".
Is there a chance he will "accidentally" Twitter a picture of himself in his underwear? Because I don't have the Twitter and this would confirm the wisdom of that choice.
"...how will you fix these insane wildfires?"
Um, water? I'm not up on advanced wildfire fighting techniques, but I'm pretty sure one method of dealing with fires is water.
Also, if I was trying to stealthily cross the Arizona desert, I probably wouldn't be lighting fires. Something about visibility, giving away my location? Regardless of whether for heat or "sending signals". To the Batcave?
They didn't design and build the Large Hadron Collider. Annnnd... that's all I have.
He's going to market his own brand of tea, just like Limburger. It will be aged, bitter, and hard to keep down. His wife suggested "Hurl Grey".
That sounds really familiar. How do you say Kristallnacht in Spanish?
You mean, "my lebensraum".
Well, it's that, or bells and gunshots.
Great - now we have alien thunderstorms sneaking across the border. We're gonna have to made the fucking wall 40,000 feet tall.
Shhh. He's on a roll.
In Arizona, they take an insanity test.
In AZ, all Mexicans, and people who look like them, are Persons of Interest.
this is fantastic - and with jiffy pop.
Is there a chance he will "accidentally" Twitter a picture of himself in his underwear? Because I don't have the Twitter and this would confirm the wisdom of that choice.
I think it's the lack of prayer in school.
Build the damn firewall!
Can Joan of Wasilla see the fire from her new bungalow in North Snotsdale?
Well stated Barb. And welcome back...
"...how will you fix these insane wildfires?"
Um, water? I'm not up on advanced wildfire fighting techniques, but I'm pretty sure one method of dealing with fires is water.
Also, if I was trying to stealthily cross the Arizona desert, I probably wouldn't be lighting fires. Something about visibility, giving away my location? Regardless of whether for heat or "sending signals". To the Batcave?