Here's Jon Stewart with the only reasonable response to the full week of coverage that Fox News's Sean Hannity gave to the alleged horrors of Spring Break: "You will believe what they found, because you know" -- drinking, sex, drinking, and sex.
It's pretty obvious Sheer InSannity just feels left out! Guy never got kissed in high school, failed to become a priest, was undoubtly a virgin on his wedding night, is now in a late-middle-age life crisis and regrets missing all the fun!
Like most wrapped-too-tight Puritans, he's jealous as well as repressed. Some people say there are dark rumors of InSannity's twisted sexual past, but since they have yet to see the light of day I'll go with "He wishes he were there."
There's probably a rich field of study in the types of people that are attracted to salacious stories while CLAIMING that they are horrified by the material presented. Some might say that the whole mindset is a great analogy of hypocritical conservative values, but hey, I'm no scholar of psychology or anything.
Jebus! Now they tell me. 33 years too effing late.
No. Wait. I didn't have any money to spend on travel back there, anyways. Well, as long as I can still believe that there was no drinking or sexing in the dorms!
I think it was a lame attempt to improve on Faux Snooze's median viewer age, by pandering to parents of college students. A healthy shot of 40-somethings would really move the needle down.
With the material provided by Hannity, all Stewart really had to do was stare in disbelief. I really, really hope Ailes was watching; he'll be that much closer to the aneurysm he so richly deserves.
It's pretty obvious Sheer InSannity just feels left out! Guy never got kissed in high school, failed to become a priest, was undoubtly a virgin on his wedding night, is now in a late-middle-age life crisis and regrets missing all the fun!
Like most wrapped-too-tight Puritans, he's jealous as well as repressed. Some people say there are dark rumors of InSannity's twisted sexual past, but since they have yet to see the light of day I'll go with "He wishes he were there."
There's probably a rich field of study in the types of people that are attracted to salacious stories while CLAIMING that they are horrified by the material presented. Some might say that the whole mindset is a great analogy of hypocritical conservative values, but hey, I'm no scholar of psychology or anything.
Jebus! Now they tell me. 33 years too effing late.
No. Wait. I didn't have any money to spend on travel back there, anyways. Well, as long as I can still believe that there was no drinking or sexing in the dorms!
Watching the replay now- Good Lord, they're actually giving how-tos on shotgunning Budweiser and playing beer pong SMH
Bonus points for Twerkman's Comp though
I think it was a lame attempt to improve on Faux Snooze's median viewer age, by pandering to parents of college students. A healthy shot of 40-somethings would really move the needle down.
With the material provided by Hannity, all Stewart really had to do was stare in disbelief. I really, really hope Ailes was watching; he'll be that much closer to the aneurysm he so richly deserves.