417 Comments
User's avatar
Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Evan. Mr. Smith goes to Washington.

Stranger Than Friction's avatar

EVAN! "Cocktober?!?"

.

Evan I love you. That is all.

For Vendetta's avatar

How you could write "Cocktober" and not link this video is almost criminal enough to include in Jack's filing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cap31jZMtFg (please note, absolutely incredible and also NSFW without headphones)

Delmarva Peninsula's avatar

Watch the NYTimes decide there's "nothing newsworthy" in the filing.

Caepan's avatar

"These are just the same accusations made before, so there's no reason to cover them before Election Day." - The Editors of the Fucking New York Times

Pexas Teat's avatar

There won't be 199 articles about it, unlike a certain person's emails.

Hank Napkin's avatar

Once Sir is convicted will Sir be liable to pay back all the public monies spent on bringing Sir to justice? And not in Sircoin's or in SIrnfts or Sirsteaks or Rubles?

Why So Lugubrious?'s avatar

Let's hope there's tears in his eyes.

Biff52 vrag naroda's avatar

Blood coming from his eyes, blood coming from his wherever...

Pexas Teat's avatar

It's a common symptom of STIs, of which he's had nearly all.

AJ Milne's avatar

While it might be nice to see the US voters reject this felon at the polls a third time (if that’s how it goes and fuck it is absurd this is even in question) his sleazy ass does in fact belong in jail for enough issues it begins difficult to track them all and this is ridiculously overdue.

Villago Delenda Est 🇺🇦's avatar

The Supreme Court went down the road to illegitimacy in 2000 with Bush v Gore, and then accelerated with Citizens United, and totally tossed in the towel with the utterly idiotic TCFFG/PAB "immunity" case. They're done here. Only three justices are actual ethical actors. The remaining six are reactionary hacks who should be treated to tumbrel rides.

gene108's avatar

I sincerely wish two of the Republican judges drop dead before the end of the year. Biden and Schumer seat their replacements, while the remaining four impotently watch as their evil is undone.

algore lactating's avatar

chief supreme shakes could have a bad epileptic fit, & clarence likely has the cardiovascular health profile of the majority of african-americans, so, fingers crossed.

Stranger Than Friction's avatar

You know Uncle Clarence is going to get an artificial heart like Dick Cheney and he will get to jump the line because he's another Special Boy. GAH! I suspect Roberts is taking at least one anti-seizure med, but it would be irresponsible not to speculate. Fuck Ted Cruz

R. Riddle's avatar

I would be satisfied with "forced to resign and thoroughly audited and investigated for tax evasion".

Richard S's avatar

Even a 180-page brief isn't big enough to contain PAB's ass.....

Banana Hammer's avatar

Non-lawyer theory: This puts Trump in a bind in ways beyond bad publicity. This whole argument of Official vs un-official means they may have to admit to stuff that he did in order to argue whether it was official or not. I suppose they could blanket all counter-arguments with the magic word "hypothetically", but even that will appear squirmy-guilty. Hopefully, Chutkan will set a tight pre-election deadline for Trump's response.

Viole Falusche's avatar

Justice Chutkan has the rep of being tough on January Sixers. Here's hoping that she's even tougher on quislings, and on dictators' personal bum-boys.

Sherry's avatar

I don't know what date she will be releasing the good stuff but my birthday is 10/12 and if she could gift my b'day weekend I'd be pretty pleased with that and see it as a sign. Let's go Cocktober!!

ShrillKitty's avatar

Pardon, but "earliest-possible-stages-thirty" implies that the parties are a bit late in briefing the issues. It's still only earliest-possible-stages-o'clock.

Caepan's avatar

You read my mind! Which is quite an accomplishment, since the text is so small.

Dorothea is a Democrat's avatar

May I just say that I think Judge Chutkan is a lovely woman.

Richard S's avatar

And if that photo is reliable, she's easy on the eyes, too!

Zap's avatar

She doesn't appear to be interested in the Justice Department's reticence to deal with the satsuma tsunami.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

You can imagine what she's had to put up with to get to where she is, and what she wouldn't put up with to get where she is.

Thesaurus Wrecks's avatar

It’s insane to me that Hillary’s chances got sunk because of a fake email scandal.

We have an actual felon adjudicated rapist with 3 other indictments and the media goes, “he can still be president, there’s nothing says he can’t!” In fact, if he wins it’s perfectly accepted that he can order the DOJ to squash these charges and even order them to go after the people that brought them.

Where was THAT discussion during the email saga?

Doug Langley's avatar

Speaking of which, didn't DOJ warn Comey that if he went public with a new investigation on Hillz that that would be election interference? And he did it anyway?

Jenny Queen of the Vilebloods's avatar

It's almost like misogyny and stupidity and lies were all that they had against Hillary. That and Bernie's cult and their scorched earth campaign that cycle

algore lactating's avatar

careful with the ourrevolution taunts.

i mentioned that once & got roasted for implying the wonkette's overthetop bernie fanpersoning in 2016 helped get us trump.

Jenny Queen of the Vilebloods's avatar

Wonkette staff were good. The fans on Wonkette were not. The head Bern Out consistently used misogyny

Doug Wildman's avatar

Comey him! Or should I say Chutkan him!

Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

Oh, that my name might be used as a verb, for just cause.

josephebacon's avatar

BREAKING: In a stunning new leaked video, Project 2025’s Director, Paul Dans, just admitted that if Donald Trump is elected, Trump’s agenda on day 1 will mirror Project 2025’s. This is a huge revelation. Retweet so all Americans see this scary leak.

https://x.com/harris_wins/status/1838739001756246150

Doug Langley's avatar

Man, he's getting a lot done on his first day. Donnie must have invented the 30 hour day.