Kanye West Is Running For President Because Sure, Why Not?
Is this any less ridiculous than Trump? Not really!
Last night, on Twitter, Kanye West announced that, in addition to working on his new apparel line for The Gap, he is officially running for President of the United States. There was a time when that would have seemed ridiculous, but this is 2020, freaking Donald Trump has been President for what seems like the last million years, life is a never-ending absurdist Gish Gallop, so why the fuck not? At this point, it would be pure folly to say "Oh, that could never happen," because that is just asking for trouble.
We must now realize the promise of America by trusting God, unifying our vision and building our future. I am runni… https: //t.co/MySzN3vjIB
— ye (@ye) 1593909493.0
He may have some difficulty with that, as he has already missed the deadline to be on the ballot in six states. To his advantage, however, he already has the support of fellow ridiculous person, Elon Musk — because that's just life now.
@kanyewest You have my full support!
— Elon Musk (@Elon Musk) 1593909921.0
You may be thinking "Oh, he's just on one and this is just another weird stunt" — but the tweet was retweeted by Kim Kardashian who, to her credit, usually tries to play these things down as much as possible.
🇺🇸 https: //t.co/i0DIcEE4Jm
— Kim Kardashian West (@Kim Kardashian West) 1593914768.0
Honestly, if I had to pick between them, I'd go with Kim. In fact, I would actually vote for Kim Kardashian over most people who might run for president. She's going around getting people released from prison! Good for her!
Naturally, because Kanye has been a particularly vocal Trump supporter, there are already a number of theories being floated around about why he's running. Over on #Resist Twitter, many are speculating that he's doing this to peel off Black support from Joe Biden in hopes of giving Trump an advantage — a theory being swiftly countered by polls showing that Kanye is actually more popular among white people than among Black people. Why that was even a poll in the first place, I couldn't tell you.
@DebraMessing white people like him more. and he's not young. https: //t.co/KuvGYL2cEQ
— Socialist Boomer (@Socialist Boomer) 1593943791.0
That, of course, doesn't mean anything. Trumpists generally do not think polls are real.
Over on wackadoodle conspiracy Twitter, the running theory is that Kanye left "the cabal" but has since been "reactivated" in order to steal votes away from Trump, because "the cabal" knows that all the Black people are going to vote for him.
Kanye was a speaker of truth and justice, a man who left the Cabal to finally tell the world of the reality of what… https: //t.co/EeWM1dTATE
— Poker and Politics (@Poker and Politics) 1593965995.0
And, again, sure! Why not! All things are possible in this, the stupidest of all possible worlds.
Anyway, this is now your holiday weekend open thread! Enjoy!
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Here is my fever dream: Republicans desperate to rid themselves of the albatriss of Trump* around their necks (apologies to albatrosses, lovely birds who do not deserve the comparison) nominate Kanye by acclamation. All racist Republicans sit out the November election. Kanye gets 0.001% of the popular vote and no electoral votes. The House increases its Democratic majority to 94%. The Senate becomes blue
Hey, a girl can dream..
Nerts...they deleted his platform. Well, that's okay. It wasn't worth much.