I can't look at a picture of this wild eyed son of a bitch without wondering what the offspring of a union of him with Michele Bachman would look like.
"Leaked assessment based on confidential accounts from 24 FBI sources describes organization as a ‘rudderless ship’"
Remember how in 2016 the majority of the FBI hated Hillary, worked against her and also "loved" Donald Trump?. Well. Choices have consequences. Helloooo Kash!
My favorite FBI story, and odds are I've shared it on this mommyblog, comes from a visit to Chickahominy tribal land in Virginia many years ago. Outside a store sat an elder tribe member, an old fellow with very long hair beneath what looked like an official FBI cap, which I complimented.
He nodded and smiled, then said, "FBI. Flat Broke Indian."
I hope South Park makes Bug Eyes and OingoBoingo their next targets before they’re fired and it’s too late. I think even Pedo is starting to realize that having willingness to enthusiastically suck the mushroom be the primary qualification for his chief law enforcement people is a bad idea.
He had that with Bill Barr but then he reached the point where he was suggesting things that Barr’s competent side said, “yeah, there’s no way you’re going to get away with that.”
I can't unsee this. If his departure didn't feel so imminent, I'd want to buy it as a cap. Although it's not as classy as sitting in a county council meeting wearing a blue cap saying Hell No.
"refuses to get off the plane until someone finds him one of those windbreakers agents wear at crime scenes with FBI stamped across them in giant yellow letters."
Seems like something a *competent* Director would have planned for before the plane took off, not after it had landed. Oh, right...
Kash Patel refusing to leave the plane until someone found him a medium FBI cosplay jacket is the most on-brand thing that little man has ever done. Real agents are trying to solve a murder, and he’s backstage demanding wardrobe like he’s prepping for community theater Night Court.
He’s not directing the FBI. He’s playing dress-up as the idea of someone who could.
And the fact that SWAT officers had to peel their own patches off so Kash could feel like a big boy? That tells you everything. When the hardest part of your job is Velcro, you’re not law enforcement. You’re a Halloween costume with clearance.
"(Which is the second reason Patel was in Utah: the man never saw a television camera he wouldn’t throw himself in front of like a mama grizzly defending her cubs.)"
It appears as if one of the character traits the Fulvous Fuckwad wants among the whining little insects circling the walking embodiment of a cesspit is a desire to be in front of the camera... so long as the underling not upstage the boss. If this weren't true why did he choose so many that worked in mass media?
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"The anecdote is from a new report allegedly written by a group of former and current agents unhappy with the direction of the Bureau under Kash’s reign."
Sour grapes from disgruntled agents that are being forced to do their jobs: attacking... sorry, investigating... anyone that Patel, DHS' Birkenau Barbie, or the Corrupt Coral Coward tells them to.
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"the least qualified leader of any law enforcement agency since the invention of law enforcement"
Patel answers to the least qualified boss "since the invention of law enforcement[.]" Ms Noem thinks the "S" in DHS means secrecy, not security; or at least when it comes to Jane or John on the street, we are to be kept in the dark and feeling less than a dearth of security. To date, Noem's biggest successes have been her highly polished, professionally shot, ads thanking "Pres Donald J Trump [sic] for his efforts in making America safe again," and threatening immigrants via TV with fines, jailtime, and deportations -- even though the odds of those she is speaking to are leisurely sitting around watching the boob tube are practically nil.
"who couldn’t solve a crime if they were in an Encyclopedia Brown story"
I prefer to think of them as being so incompetent that they'd have problems with "Alfred Hitchcock's Solve-Them-Yourself Mysteries" a book with the line at the bottom of the book cover: "Five exciting cases to test the wits of young detectives -- with solutions by the master of suspense, at the end of each story[.]" (The cover art features a boy who looks like he's maybe ten, holding a magnifying lens and wearing a Deer-stalker like Sherlock Holmes while Hitchcock watches him.) Even with the solution at the end of each story, I'll bet that these fine folk will still not know the answer.
I, personally, look forward to the tear filled press conferences when Dan Bongino takes over. Plus we have the benefit of getting all of our information from the FBI after it has been thoroughly vetted by the Kremlin first.
If Trump decides to fire Patel, who will he appoint in his place? Ted Nugent?
I can't look at a picture of this wild eyed son of a bitch without wondering what the offspring of a union of him with Michele Bachman would look like.
Crabstryingtocrawloutofabucket.gif
Puppets, images, empty gestures … the shining stamp of the Trump administration.
"FBI under Kash Patel has become ‘internally paralyzed by fear’, new report reveals"
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/dec/01/fbi-kash-patel-leaked-report
"Leaked assessment based on confidential accounts from 24 FBI sources describes organization as a ‘rudderless ship’"
Remember how in 2016 the majority of the FBI hated Hillary, worked against her and also "loved" Donald Trump?. Well. Choices have consequences. Helloooo Kash!
Good….I hope suffers a nervous breakdown.
My favorite FBI story, and odds are I've shared it on this mommyblog, comes from a visit to Chickahominy tribal land in Virginia many years ago. Outside a store sat an elder tribe member, an old fellow with very long hair beneath what looked like an official FBI cap, which I complimented.
He nodded and smiled, then said, "FBI. Flat Broke Indian."
He's not the only one who cosplays a leader. ICE Barbie and hoochy Hegsith wander around in drag as well.
"Hagueseth" is my new favorite, I think
Ta, Gary. I never thought I'd say this, but the Fibbies deserve better than Ka$h, who needs must Kra$h.
Soooo Much THIS!!! 😅😆🙃😆
I hope South Park makes Bug Eyes and OingoBoingo their next targets before they’re fired and it’s too late. I think even Pedo is starting to realize that having willingness to enthusiastically suck the mushroom be the primary qualification for his chief law enforcement people is a bad idea.
What he really needed, and didn't realize because he's stupid, is competent corrupt law enforcement.
Chump isn't going to take anything out with crack marksmen who can't hit the broad side of a barn. From inside.
He had that with Bill Barr but then he reached the point where he was suggesting things that Barr’s competent side said, “yeah, there’s no way you’re going to get away with that.”
...𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘯 𝘌𝘯𝘤𝘺𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘢 𝘉𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺.
Hey! Some of that shit was HARD!
I’m actually surprised that he didn’t get his own special custom tailored jacket made up for him immediately upon getting the job.
Like a common Hagueseth?
With gold lamé epaulets and "FBI" in red, white and blue blinky LEDs.
I can't unsee this. If his departure didn't feel so imminent, I'd want to buy it as a cap. Although it's not as classy as sitting in a county council meeting wearing a blue cap saying Hell No.
"refuses to get off the plane until someone finds him one of those windbreakers agents wear at crime scenes with FBI stamped across them in giant yellow letters."
Seems like something a *competent* Director would have planned for before the plane took off, not after it had landed. Oh, right...
The idea of an FBI Director arriving on a scene unprepared is so on point for this administration
Just fucking bizarre.
Kash Patel refusing to leave the plane until someone found him a medium FBI cosplay jacket is the most on-brand thing that little man has ever done. Real agents are trying to solve a murder, and he’s backstage demanding wardrobe like he’s prepping for community theater Night Court.
He’s not directing the FBI. He’s playing dress-up as the idea of someone who could.
And the fact that SWAT officers had to peel their own patches off so Kash could feel like a big boy? That tells you everything. When the hardest part of your job is Velcro, you’re not law enforcement. You’re a Halloween costume with clearance.
May he become the Halloween costume on clearance.
The costume comietition with Kristi is intense!
Whatever fantasies he harbored during that photo op with Kristi in the LEGO pink Cadillac, he has to remember that he's no Cory Lewandowski.
"(Which is the second reason Patel was in Utah: the man never saw a television camera he wouldn’t throw himself in front of like a mama grizzly defending her cubs.)"
It appears as if one of the character traits the Fulvous Fuckwad wants among the whining little insects circling the walking embodiment of a cesspit is a desire to be in front of the camera... so long as the underling not upstage the boss. If this weren't true why did he choose so many that worked in mass media?
-----
"The anecdote is from a new report allegedly written by a group of former and current agents unhappy with the direction of the Bureau under Kash’s reign."
Sour grapes from disgruntled agents that are being forced to do their jobs: attacking... sorry, investigating... anyone that Patel, DHS' Birkenau Barbie, or the Corrupt Coral Coward tells them to.
-----
"the least qualified leader of any law enforcement agency since the invention of law enforcement"
Patel answers to the least qualified boss "since the invention of law enforcement[.]" Ms Noem thinks the "S" in DHS means secrecy, not security; or at least when it comes to Jane or John on the street, we are to be kept in the dark and feeling less than a dearth of security. To date, Noem's biggest successes have been her highly polished, professionally shot, ads thanking "Pres Donald J Trump [sic] for his efforts in making America safe again," and threatening immigrants via TV with fines, jailtime, and deportations -- even though the odds of those she is speaking to are leisurely sitting around watching the boob tube are practically nil.
-----
Re the gif of Patel with whack eyes:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qj4Td6-AL8M
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"who couldn’t solve a crime if they were in an Encyclopedia Brown story"
I prefer to think of them as being so incompetent that they'd have problems with "Alfred Hitchcock's Solve-Them-Yourself Mysteries" a book with the line at the bottom of the book cover: "Five exciting cases to test the wits of young detectives -- with solutions by the master of suspense, at the end of each story[.]" (The cover art features a boy who looks like he's maybe ten, holding a magnifying lens and wearing a Deer-stalker like Sherlock Holmes while Hitchcock watches him.) Even with the solution at the end of each story, I'll bet that these fine folk will still not know the answer.
fnord
If he’s ousted completely I wonder how many more Scaramuccis his “soulmate” will hang around?
She can have her pick of a number of 'roided up, shrunken testicles WWE "stars" who look good in front of a camera.
She'll have to fly commercial, though.
I, personally, look forward to the tear filled press conferences when Dan Bongino takes over. Plus we have the benefit of getting all of our information from the FBI after it has been thoroughly vetted by the Kremlin first.
I thought Dan was in the doghouse over Epstein?
Wasn't he also the one who was crying on Fox about how he was stuck in an office with nothing to look at besides Ka$h and he wanted to go home?
And then how long will HE last?