293 Comments
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simpledinosaur's avatar

If Kash is worried about sussing out people in the FBI who think he's an idiot and an effup, he's gonna need a bigger lie detector.

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M. Alex Chambers's avatar

Stop calling it alligator alcatraz.

That's their branding.

Call it Alligator Auschwitz

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Homero's avatar

I was talking to a patient who is an FBI agent who described her new boss as a moron. I asked her if this moron was the author of a childrens’ book and she said “do you mean ‘Patel’?”

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Kathnc's avatar

Feinberg's Lawfare piece brought me to tears. I want everyone to read it.

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Marycat2021's avatar

Do you have a link? I can't find anything by a Feinberg on the website.

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Tommy Mo's avatar

When I was a newborn, in the 50s, my parents wanted to have me circumcised. The doctor accidentally removed my gruntle instead and I’ve been disgruntled ever since.

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Emily Feagin's avatar

Everyone makes fun of the boss. It comes with the territory. What a snowflake

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Evan. I make fun of Kash Patel whenever he crosses my mind, which, admittedly, is not very often. Then again, I don't work for the fibbies.

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Littorally Speaking's avatar

While it would be terrifying working around Patel knowing he’s in possession of a loaded firearm, there’s definitely a less than zero chance he’ll shoot himself with it, sooo ...

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Peter MacMonagle's avatar

Somebody better wake up and smell the coffee, because this country will be like a Western Hemisphere Gaza Strip when Trump and his Republican Gestapo Congresspeople get through strafing the life out of this country. Making excuses for not taking care of the nation is not an excuse when you know what to do to keep people safe. Republicans just do not want to do it. This is simple incompetence.

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Gern Blansten's avatar

“How many times haz you made a fun-fun abourt Depiddy Dan Dan? Wuzzit ten times? Wuzzit eleventy times? Wuzzit a hunnert times? Over a hunnert???!!! If'n youse pinky swear to hold him and love him and squeeze him youse gets to stay. If a no then you are self deportedy.”

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Tommy Mo's avatar

“With which eye is Kash looking at you?”

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Joe Schmoe, Troublemaker's avatar

Patel and Bongino are such pathetic losers

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Liminal's avatar

I thought lie detectors were no longer considered useful?

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Fender Deluxe's avatar

Information obtained during a session with a polygraph is not admissible in any court, because the system can be gamed by either party, but unscrupulous assholes still use it to instill fear.

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Bagels of Doom's avatar

"Who knew jackbooted authoritarianism would be so insecure and pathetic?"

It's a running theme.

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Bitter Scribe's avatar

"I know what you fuckers think of me! I see it in your eyes every time I poke my nose in here! That's why I work from home in Vegas! Well, you won't fucking get away with it! I'll polygraph all your asses! You WILL respect me!"

Gee, this is a little harder than talking shit online, isn't it, Kash?

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Dorothea is a Democrat's avatar

Kash isn't dumb but he's not smart either. He also has small man syndrome. In any situation, he will have his radar in overdrive looking for any sign of disparagement from others. This will be especially difficult in a place like the FBI where he is constantly surrounded by people that make him feel less smart and totally unqualified. An experienced agent would have to walk on eggshells around him as he will be on the alert for any change of tone or off-hand glance. I agree about Vegas. He's hiding there.

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beb's avatar

"Who knew jackbooted authoritarianism would be so insecure and pathetic?"

It stands to reason since authoritarians seized power illegitimately they will constantly be on the lookout for the next authoritarian trying to seize power.

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Fender Deluxe's avatar

Funny how they expect to be replaced by a worse authoritarian, not a democratically-elected leadership.

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Bob Lyon's avatar

Lie detector? I've beaten two such tests.

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Tommy Mo's avatar

YOU LIE!

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Bob Lyon's avatar

with ease

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