Kash Patel Not Waiting To Actually Get Job Before Starting FBI Purges
Ol' Crazy Eyes has reportedly been secretly putting his stamp on the agency for weeks.
The Senate Judiciary Committee on Thursday voted (along party lines, natch) to approve the nomination of googly-eyed puddle of flopsweat Kash Patel to be the next director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. His nomination now heads to the full Senate for a vote, where at best the decrepit corpse of Mitch McConnell might give him a thumbs-down so that he passes with only 52 votes instead of 53.
We would like to be optimistic that at least a few other Republicans will come to their senses and vote against this needy weirdo, but ha ha ha ha, who are we kidding? These idiots would confirm a dog turd to Donald Trump’s cabinet if Trump nominated one
We just had a vision of how the dog turd’s confirmation hearing would go:
REPUBLICAN: Mr. Turd, you are highly qualified and a shining example of President Trump’s impeccable judgement. I would just like to compliment you on your candor today and thank you for being here.
Turd remains silent.
DEMOCRAT: Mr. Turd, you told Steve Bannon’s podcast last year that you, quote, “wish with every corner of my soul that murdering Democrats and eating their brains was legal,” unquote. So I have some concerns about your ability to do this job in a nonpartisan manner.
Turd remains silent.
And that turd would still be the least embarrassing of Trump’s nominees.
Anyway, as Mother Jones reported this week, it has recently come to everyone’s attention that Patel might be so excited to start the job, and so sure that his confirmation was going to sail through (in fairness, a reasonable assumption) that he has been secretly directing the recent purges of FBI employees, presumably because they are all deep state traitors working to undermine Emperor Trump or whatever.
Sen. Dick Durbin, the ranking member of the Judiciary Committee and usually about as worthless as Confederate money, said this week that he was getting reports from whistleblowers about Patel’s actions. The nominee, Durbin says, has been receiving information from an “advisory team” at the FBI. He then passes whatever that info is on to Stephen Miller in the sunless underground cavern where Miller hangs by his feet, cocooned in his own wings. Miller then passes that info on to (acting) Deputy Attorney General Emil Bove, who is fast becoming a primary villain in this administration.
That’s an impressive feat, by the way. Do you know how hard one has to work to stand out as a villain in any Trump administration, but particularly one being run by Elon Musk? Bove’s a real go-getter.
Durbin reported that Bove is then passing Patel’s instructions back to the FBI so that the agency will do his bidding:
Bove, a former personal lawyer for Trump, told top FBI officials in a January 29 meeting that Patel wanted the bureau to remove targeted employees quickly. “KP wants movement at FBI,” a person at the meeting wrote in notes that Durbin said he reviewed.
Boy, Emil Bove is busy. Undermining the FBI on behalf of a guy who is not actually the head of it yet, making corrupt bargains with big-city mayors and covering them up ... like we said, he’s a go-getter.
During his hearing, Patel was asked under oath by multiple Democrats if he had anything to do with the ongoing purges of FBI personnel, and if he was aware that any of those purges were retaliation against people who had investigated Trump for Jan. 6 and the myriad other crimes that our nation in its wisdom has let him off the hook for. Patel replied that he didn’t know “what’s going on right now over there.”
Democrats demanded a second confirmation hearing so that they could question Patel about these reports that he had committed perjury under oath. Unsurprisingly, Chuck Grassley, the ancient fossil of a Judiciary chairman whose aides have to prop him up in his seat before every hearing, waved them off.
A Patel spokesperson accused Mother Jones of relying on “anonymous sources and secondhand gossip.” Which is not an unqualified “No.”
Patel also lied about a whole bunch of other stuff at his hearings. He claimed, for example, that he had nothing to do with the recording of a bunch of Jan. 6 rioters in the DC jail singing the national anthem. He even said he had no idea the people singing were Jan. 6 rioters.
But Patel had personally released the song during an appearance on Steve Bannon’s podcast, where he bragged that he had overseen the recording and mastering of the song, and was distributing some of the proceeds to the families of the imprisoned rioters.
Among other Patel lies, and we remind you that he did this under oath: he claimed the famous “enemies list” of people he wanted Trump to take revenge on that he published in his 2023 book was simply a “glossary,” presumably so readers could keep track of everyone he hates.
Patel also likely lied about a $25,000 payment made to him by the government of Qatar in 2024, which he claimed was from “consulting services” he provided to the nation when it hosted the World Cup. But the World Cup took place in 2022, more than two years before the Qataris slipped him some extra cash.
And for sheer comedy, Patel denied ever supporting QAnon in the past, despite a long and documented history of his promoting the insane conspiracy theory to its nutty adherents.
Heck, we didn’t even mention the $25,000 payment Patel took from actual literal Russian propagandists, for appearing in an online anti-FBI “documentary” series, which Senate Republicans are also willing to overlook. OK, now we’ve mentioned it.
Patel’s full confirmation should come sometime next week, at which time he can stop pretending he’s an innocent naif, charge full-bore into FBI headquarters and coyly blink those crazy peepers as he fires half the Bureau for the crime of doing its job after the Jan. 6 riots. But at least he won’t have held up any more of Chuck Grassley’s nap time.
[Mother Jones / Mother Jones also]
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OMG that picture. Scared the cat.
Kash has that, “no I haven’t seen your LSD. Have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?” look.