And then there was the time I smoked weed with the Chief of the Mohawk Tribe's daughter and son-in-law. It was a make-up show. The original one was canceled because of another snowmageddon. By then we had cycled through 2 tour managers and now it was my job. The gig was a casino on the reservation but this one was particularly spartan. The show room was a cinder block rectangle with folding chairs and a lot of standing room. The way concert contracts work is that 50% of the total fee is collected in advance. The balance is due before the band hits the stage. (I witnessed one club owner shake down his employees for pocket change to pay us.) A good hour, 90 minutes before show time I went into the office to get paid. They weren't in any hurry to accommodate the white guy but I knew they were good for the money. A safe the size of a generous walk-in closet was open and piles of cash were scattered around. One would have to wade through it. Eventually they counted out the balance and put it in an envelope. Cool, they got their show. Afterwards I counted out the merch and gave the casino their cut. I was invited into the green room where I met the Chief's daughter. Charming, welcoming. We shot the breeze and passed the pipe around. Now I'm no stranger to the devil's lettuce and hit it like I'd normally do. About three or four of those hits and I melted into the couch. This shit was a paralytic. There was still a little work to do and I started computing in my head how long I could sit there feigning normalcy before I was needed elsewhere. Thankfully a tech filtered through and I surreptitiously let him know that if I stood up without assistance I'd collapse. I said my goodbyes and offered thanks for their hospitality. The tech walked me to the bus. Somehow the money counted out correctly.
And then there was the time I smoked weed with a 1%er motorcycle club. It's hard to play piano runs with a naked woman in your lap.
I was starting to wrap things up for the night and realized that I hadnβt brought in the firewood as planned. I donβt wait for the rack to get empty when I top it off again, so that plan was made this morning and then I just didnβt.
The part about this that takes resolve is all of the getting ready and then all of the tidying up afterwards. Yeah, I couldβve scooted out there, barefoot in my day pajamas, but I side and got dressed in all the multiple layers that this takes. Itβs just the dogged patience of once again, doing it right.
last fall, when I was stacking wood, I positioned the biggest, most dense pieces of firewood, so that I would be able to access them in the coldest part of winter. And tonight I was out there gathering them, and thinking ahead to gardening season. Natives call it always getting ready.
Jax was offered the option of coming with me, and he backed away from the door. He watched through the window while I shoveled a couple of sets of steps. I monitored myself and kept going until I started to get a little bit chilly and said OK thatβs enough for now. Pacing myself. It kind of sucks but it gets it done. You just have to outlast the winter.
Netflix CEO Ted Sarandos is set to visit Trump tomorrow. Susan Rice told the truth. Now, Netflix must choose whether to stand by her or capitulate to Trump. www.democracydocket.com/opinion/susa...
Thune poured cold water on far-right activistsβ hopes that he would quickly change the filibuster rules β the only realistic path to getting the bill passed a Democratic blockade. www.democracydocket.com/news-alerts/...
Remember when people were outraged that Yaleβs Skull and Bones βsecretβ society had both Bushes and John Kerry as members? The Epstein list makes that look like a jr. high chess club.
One used to be able to find this image by searching google images. You can't anymore so I think they got scrubbed. But this image is apropos, of course. (Hamilton never throws anything out.)
Well, see, my phone is called "Whizzo Butter" and my iPad is called "Dead Crab"
So my dear aunt can't tell the difference between whizzo butter and a dead crab.
---
Then I get panic-stricken texts from my aunt. "Is this a hack attempt? This makes no sense at all! Your mum got it too! We don't understand!
--- Email 2 ---
Apparently this needs more context for the more, uh, mature in the audience.
This is from when we were in the flat in Berlin around Christmas. I'd shared the wifi password with my darling aunt from my apple tablet.
For a couple of days she was strutting around like a hacker peacock. "I know the password! It's dead crab!" like she'd hacked the Pentagon or something.
The password wasn't dead crab. That was the name of my iPad.
So I was explaining that my phone is called "whizzo butter" and my tablet is called "dead crab" and the video is the Monty Python sketch where I got the names.
It still doesn't change the fact that my dear aunt can't tell the difference between whizzo butter and a dead crab. It makes sense if you watch the video.
I thought it was funny. Apparently it flew over some elderly heads at about 38,000 feet.
As an aside, Jimmy Kimmel suggested that Kash Patel fly on Spirit Airlines from now on. SInce you suggested that first, you win a miniature internet brought to you by Broyhill. "Broyhill, your go to source for miniature internets!"
I vaguely remember hearing what might have sounded like my own material but I figured it was a koinkadoink. I don't even remember what they were, just that I had that impression at the time.
She fucking would. She's a firecracker and I love her a lot. Sometimes she and I will sneak out for cocktails when the others are doing something wholesome.
Last time I was there in December I randomly ran in to her and my mum in the christmas market on Gendarmenmarkt. They were shitfaced. Apparently they'd been chatting up security guards.
Jumping in the Morning - Ray Charles
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObUJmrgzdEc
And then there was the time I smoked weed with the Chief of the Mohawk Tribe's daughter and son-in-law. It was a make-up show. The original one was canceled because of another snowmageddon. By then we had cycled through 2 tour managers and now it was my job. The gig was a casino on the reservation but this one was particularly spartan. The show room was a cinder block rectangle with folding chairs and a lot of standing room. The way concert contracts work is that 50% of the total fee is collected in advance. The balance is due before the band hits the stage. (I witnessed one club owner shake down his employees for pocket change to pay us.) A good hour, 90 minutes before show time I went into the office to get paid. They weren't in any hurry to accommodate the white guy but I knew they were good for the money. A safe the size of a generous walk-in closet was open and piles of cash were scattered around. One would have to wade through it. Eventually they counted out the balance and put it in an envelope. Cool, they got their show. Afterwards I counted out the merch and gave the casino their cut. I was invited into the green room where I met the Chief's daughter. Charming, welcoming. We shot the breeze and passed the pipe around. Now I'm no stranger to the devil's lettuce and hit it like I'd normally do. About three or four of those hits and I melted into the couch. This shit was a paralytic. There was still a little work to do and I started computing in my head how long I could sit there feigning normalcy before I was needed elsewhere. Thankfully a tech filtered through and I surreptitiously let him know that if I stood up without assistance I'd collapse. I said my goodbyes and offered thanks for their hospitality. The tech walked me to the bus. Somehow the money counted out correctly.
And then there was the time I smoked weed with a 1%er motorcycle club. It's hard to play piano runs with a naked woman in your lap.
π€©
https://substack.com/@ontheotherhand124816/note/c-219911467?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=106di
I was starting to wrap things up for the night and realized that I hadnβt brought in the firewood as planned. I donβt wait for the rack to get empty when I top it off again, so that plan was made this morning and then I just didnβt.
The part about this that takes resolve is all of the getting ready and then all of the tidying up afterwards. Yeah, I couldβve scooted out there, barefoot in my day pajamas, but I side and got dressed in all the multiple layers that this takes. Itβs just the dogged patience of once again, doing it right.
last fall, when I was stacking wood, I positioned the biggest, most dense pieces of firewood, so that I would be able to access them in the coldest part of winter. And tonight I was out there gathering them, and thinking ahead to gardening season. Natives call it always getting ready.
Jax was offered the option of coming with me, and he backed away from the door. He watched through the window while I shoveled a couple of sets of steps. I monitored myself and kept going until I started to get a little bit chilly and said OK thatβs enough for now. Pacing myself. It kind of sucks but it gets it done. You just have to outlast the winter.
Your Evening/Morning Kaboom--Supplemental!!
Druzhba Pipeline Oil Hub Still on Fire Two Days Later
Jake Broe Overflow (2:35) : https://youtu.be/-td0ukV41gI
Was Krash at Dump's self-love fest last night, or is he still in the Milano drunk tank?
The "Circle Jerk"administration.
βAnimal Houseβ administration.
Seems more like a "charnel house" administration.
"My advice to you is to start drinking heavily."
When is this ever bad advice?
Fetterman: Officially only liked by Republicans who will only vote for him in a primary because he'll be an easy knock-out in '28.
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ihpglfqq3dapqjmwl2ntktil/post/3mfq7tu7thk2d
Fucking gottdamn orc.
So much legal eagle stuff on various topics to keep up with - it's impossible!
But I'll leave you with Marc, as I put the evening meds on board.
βͺMarc Eliasβ¬
βͺ@marcelias.bsky.socialβ¬
Β· 4h
Netflix CEO Ted Sarandos is set to visit Trump tomorrow. Susan Rice told the truth. Now, Netflix must choose whether to stand by her or capitulate to Trump. www.democracydocket.com/opinion/susa...
https://bsky.app/profile/marcelias.bsky.social/post/3mfq2fz6vhs27
βͺMarc Eliasβ¬
βͺ@marcelias.bsky.socialβ¬
Β· 6h
Thune poured cold water on far-right activistsβ hopes that he would quickly change the filibuster rules β the only realistic path to getting the bill passed a Democratic blockade. www.democracydocket.com/news-alerts/...
https://bsky.app/profile/marcelias.bsky.social/post/3mfptwt2ths25
βͺMarc Eliasβ¬
βͺ@marcelias.bsky.socialβ¬
Β· 7h
If Florida enacts this into law, it will be sued.
www.democracydocket.com/news-alerts/...
https://bsky.app/profile/marcelias.bsky.social/post/3mfprfq447k2a
Evening, dear.
I think they'll tell him to pound gravel on the Netflix thing.
The FL thing? Glad I don't live there.
Let's watch it fall apart: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqnmC8E3gWo
Remember when people were outraged that Yaleβs Skull and Bones βsecretβ society had both Bushes and John Kerry as members? The Epstein list makes that look like a jr. high chess club.
It's like a cold sore compared to the current leg amputation.
More like a cold sore to waking up in a tub of ice with only one kidney.
Yeah, this.
Or waking up to find both kidneys gone.
Anybody here, miss my old friend Gohmert,
Can you tell me where he's gone?
One used to be able to find this image by searching google images. You can't anymore so I think they got scrubbed. But this image is apropos, of course. (Hamilton never throws anything out.)
https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!bCWQ!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fmedia_upload%2Fcomment%2F32bf5bc2-ec08-4f4e-b65d-e02b1d885966%2Fd409fcbd-539a-41a7-9ac3-aa1489032621.jpeg
LOLOLOLOL
Love it!
I don't think even Gohmert knows.
Now, now. Gohmie hates when you cast asparaguses at him.
Doing one moar spin around the Intertubes before sleep. Hoo boy, this guy.
(Some folks need to get a grip when they step into the voting booth.)
βͺRon Filipkowskiβ¬
βͺ@ronfilipkowski.bsky.socialβ¬
Β· 3h
Sometimes I think heβs just trolling us.
But no, he really is this stupid.
https://bsky.app/profile/ronfilipkowski.bsky.social/post/3mfq5asdojc2s
People with legs and bones that were 'obliterated'? Just put some metal in 'em, and boom! Back to walkin'!
What about if you're a Republican and your spine was 'obliterated'?
Wait until theyβre on their last term, itβll come back.
Is it true that he ate his twin Wayne in the womb and that is why he's now known as Markwayne? Just asking questions.
Dunno, but I'm sure he has alcoholic fetus syndrom.
Markwayne Dadgum Mullen is a rancid fuckdroid yahoo.
Oklahoma's finest. They're sending their best.
"It got better."
Don't tell me let me guess it's MarkWayne Fuckwad.
Did I win? What do I get?
There is no "winning"when it comes to stuff like this.
Thanks for the sneeze on my cheese. Was hoping for an elephant.
Oh, that's in the mail! His name is "Pickles."
Courtesy US Pachyderm Service, no doubt.
Or stalled at the border.
Brace yourself for the tariff.
My prefrontal cortex gave out just reading that.
My prefrontal cortex cut an ran. It's now cowering behind my occipital lobe.
You can get pills for that.
I have the patches.
Take 'em off before bedtime unless you enjoy unsettling dreams!
Absolutely!
*snorts*
Dumb, dumber, and dumbest.
Blame gallbladder.
https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ULeN!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fmedia_upload%2Fcomment%2F39318cac-83aa-42e1-9f36-f9a8bfaa3b19%2F192f0bc3-b67e-4670-8916-1a5df1086b67.jpeg
Emails with elderly relatives
--- Email 1 with the title "Auntie Susan in Berlin" ---
"I know the password! It's dead crab!"
https://youtu.be/7-DmwiAKDd8?t=33
Well, see, my phone is called "Whizzo Butter" and my iPad is called "Dead Crab"
So my dear aunt can't tell the difference between whizzo butter and a dead crab.
---
Then I get panic-stricken texts from my aunt. "Is this a hack attempt? This makes no sense at all! Your mum got it too! We don't understand!
--- Email 2 ---
Apparently this needs more context for the more, uh, mature in the audience.
This is from when we were in the flat in Berlin around Christmas. I'd shared the wifi password with my darling aunt from my apple tablet.
For a couple of days she was strutting around like a hacker peacock. "I know the password! It's dead crab!" like she'd hacked the Pentagon or something.
The password wasn't dead crab. That was the name of my iPad.
So I was explaining that my phone is called "whizzo butter" and my tablet is called "dead crab" and the video is the Monty Python sketch where I got the names.
It still doesn't change the fact that my dear aunt can't tell the difference between whizzo butter and a dead crab. It makes sense if you watch the video.
I thought it was funny. Apparently it flew over some elderly heads at about 38,000 feet.
Love
[fukui]
---
As an aside, Jimmy Kimmel suggested that Kash Patel fly on Spirit Airlines from now on. SInce you suggested that first, you win a miniature internet brought to you by Broyhill. "Broyhill, your go to source for miniature internets!"
Back in, oh 2009 or 2010 or so, I'd religiously watch the Daily Show with Jon Stewart. And post on here.
Every couple of episodes I'd hear one of our jokes on there. Comedy writers read this place.
I'm still not convinced that Colbert's bit where he makes up names for the TPUSA alternative halftime show that includes a Gidley is a coincidence.
I've always suspected that.
I'd hear my own jokes on there. "Wait! I wrote that!"
I vaguely remember hearing what might have sounded like my own material but I figured it was a koinkadoink. I don't even remember what they were, just that I had that impression at the time.
It happened too often to be coincidence.
I bet comedy writers don't read free republic and breitbart.
Did she threaten to slit your face?
She fucking would. She's a firecracker and I love her a lot. Sometimes she and I will sneak out for cocktails when the others are doing something wholesome.
I like her already.
Last time I was there in December I randomly ran in to her and my mum in the christmas market on Gendarmenmarkt. They were shitfaced. Apparently they'd been chatting up security guards.
Yeah, she's fun.
fuck
{{{Hamilton quickly changes his password.}}}
https://substack.com/@catherine686297/note/c-219899470?r=6r8qsq&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action
https://substack.com/@catherine686297/note/c-219899470?r=6r8qsq&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action
Note not available.
A note, the availability of which was heretofore assumed, is not available.
"this note is not available"
In the People's Democratic Dictatorship of Hamiltonstan, Simba judges *you*.
https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!5Zge!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fmedia_upload%2Fcomment%2F14b0bae5-b7de-4cf3-9279-f1530bb1d7ab%2Fb2e7dccb-945b-4c7e-9b6a-d058e4b158ae.jpeg
Big Simba is Watching You!
Oh dear. It's the Judging Table.
From now on, I will call that spot at Workstation "The Judging Bureau" as bureau is French for desk.
Everybody run for your lives!
TEAM ADJUDICATION 2026!!!
Simba's Gavel of Judgment will fall.
It's actually Simba's Silver Hammer. He stole it from Maxwell.
Ominous. I like it.
*pushes Worthers Original across the table*
"Your move, Simba. Hit me with all you got."
fin
If he pushes it back, you are well and truly fucked.
*takes long drag*
Oh, I expect the worst, my friend.
*exhales, artfully
artfully*
**coughs**
Wow, not looking good.
Dang, I don't like my odds. I'm gonna need a better attorney.