KerrySex: Because Everyone Knows How Reliable Friendster Is
Lloyd Grove becomes the first "mainstream" journalist to use The Woman In Question's Friendster profile as a news source, but look how dignified he is about it: "About Me: just another hot piece of a-- with a philosophy degree and a love for old movies." See? He didn't spell out "ass"! With high journalism standards like that, it's no wonder he left the Washington Post. He covers his own a-- with a ritual incantation: "There's no way of knowing for sure." But, he continues, "after checking with folks who know her," he believes it is. "Yesterday, a person listed by the 'online social networking community' as a Friendster 'friend' said that yes, it's the same" Non-Monica. Of course, no one lies on Friendster. And hey, that sounds a little like this "reporting" thing we've heard so much about. Who do you think he got to confirm the story? Perhaps the popular Friendster 'friend' Homer Simpson ? Or the more trustworthy Jesus Christ ?
Whatevs. What's really exciting is the new precedent being set here: Once, you had to be the former lover of a leading presidential candidate to get your Friendster profile quoted in a major paper. What a silly, elitist standard. Grove has leveled the playing field: Now it just has to be rumored that you're the former lover of a leading presidential candidate. Or, hey, as long as the profile is embarrassing enough, who cares who you are! We're going to start working on ours now.