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Your Kevin McCarthy Resignation/Humiliation/Defenestration/Flawless Victory Clock Starts NOW!
Here was the scene in the Capitol last night:
“PIZZA on its way to MCCARTHY office…. Never a good sign”
— Haley Talbot (@Haley Talbot) 1672789968
Uh oh, not pizza! We bet they had a really productive night of negotiating and today will be the day Kevin McCarthy wins the things.
Or maybe they didn't and he won't and he'll never resign because he has no shame and no beliefs and no self-awareness and also he's incredibly stupid and everybody knows it and today the House will reconvene at noon and it'll be another hilarious shitshow and George Santos will sit by himself like a lonely loser some more.
And you know who really loses here? All the Republican congressmen who want to stop the silliness so they can do the business of the American people, which is holding endless hearings on what Ukraine knew about Hunter Biden's great big penis and when did they know it.
Here is the letter Matt Gaetz sent the Architect of the Capitol last night asking them to please go tell Kevin McCarthy to get his big ass and his stinky pizza bosses out of the speaker's office:
“Matt Gaetz sent this letter to the Architect of the Capitol attempting to evict “squatter” Kevin McCarthy from the Speaker’s office.”
— PatriotTakes 🇺🇸 (@PatriotTakes 🇺🇸) 1672801448
Here is a video of George Santos sitting by himself yesterday. Why? For fun.
“Aaaaaand Rep. George Santos (R-NY) is still sitting by himself …”
— The Recount (@The Recount) 1672773989
Next up, clock .gifs! What are they counting down to? Who cares? Kevin McCarthy will already go down in the history books as the greatest congressional loser of the 21st century. When he does or doesn't resign to spend more time not being the speaker of the House is immaterial, just as it was immaterial in 2015 when Wonkette first wrote a post about Kevin McCarthy dropping out to spend more time being Not The Speaker.
Politico Playbook wishes it could write news posts like this.
UPDATE: Daddy is awake and he's bullying the children to cut that shit out or he will pull over this car.
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here!
And once that doesn't exist, I'm also giving things a go at the Mastodon (@email@example.com) and at Post!
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