Kevin McCarthy Sh*tshow Day Two: THE ENSH*TTENING!

Liveblogging until it's over! Which may happen immediately so they can go back and fail some more!

Go go gadget liveblog!

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12: 04:So there may be a motion to adjourn at the beginning, and there is a question whether Kevin McCarthy can even win THAT.

(They would adjourn so McCarthy could go somewhere and fail some more without suffering the humiliation of new votes.)

12: 06:QUORUM CALL! Let's find out if there are any people in the House chambers right now, to delay having to humiliate Kevin some more!

12: 09:  Here is a Christian praise and worship version of "Eye of the Tiger," it is less of a failure than Kevin McCarthy.

“There will be extra crowns in Heaven for those who watch the entire “Eye of the Tiger” (“Christian version” 😳). And may God have mercy upon your soul. #SoundOn #Yikes #ChristianRock #ChristianHipHop”

— Lloyd Legalist (@Lloyd Legalist) 1672601840 

Oh look, there is a quorum!

Moving on.

12: 12:Meanwhile on Fox News. 

“MSNBC: Live coverage of day 2 of House Speaker votes CNN: Live coverage of day 2 of House Speaker votes FOX NEWS:”

— Aaron Rupar (@Aaron Rupar) 1672850507 

Andrea Mitchell says Kevin McCarthy has "wide support," but helpfully clarifies that it is not enough support in terms of mathematics.

12: 16:Some airhead twit Republican Mike Gallagher trying to explain that all of this is NOT EMBARRASSING YOU ARE EMBARRASSING. All the Democrats are laughing him.

STFU, pool boy.

12: 19:Sounds like maybe Donald Trump's phone calls last night MAYBE did not work. 

“Question: Do you think that Trump's statement urging people to vote for McCarthy changes the dynamic at all? Sessions: I— I am hearing that the 19 are growing their vote.”

— Acyn (@Acyn) 1672850408 

Airhead just finally finished talking. There is going to be another humiliating vote, because Republicans don't have the votes to adjourn.

Democrats just nominated Hakeem Jeffries again, hooray!

12: 23:Hahahahahaha that moron Chip Roy is nominating Byron Donalds. He is explaining to us that Byron Donalds is Black. When Roy explained that Donalds is Black, the Republican caucus stood up to give Byron Donalds a standing ovation, for being Black.

When we see video of the closeup on Matt Gaetz giving Byron Donalds a standing O for being Black, we will add it.

12: 29:AW FUCK YEAH, MATT GAETZ KNOWS A BLACK GUY. 

“Gaetz is really trying to make Speaker Byron Donalds happen”

— Aaron Rupar (@Aaron Rupar) 1672853123 

Kevin McCarthy's fourth humiliation has begun, they are calling roll.

12: 37:Once again, we are only in the Cs and McCarthy has five Republicans against him, which means he has lost.

12: 52:We are about halfway through the voting, and 12 Republicans so far have voted for Byron Donalds, including Byron Donalds. Nobody has come back into the McCarthy fold so far.

Steve Kornacki explains on MSNBC that this means LOSER.

1: 15:One person votes present! Kevin McCarthy still loser.

The present voter was Republican Victoria Spartz. Voting "present" doesn't count toward the total needed for a majority, but here's what's weird. Spartz, who is from Indiana, had voted previously FOR McCarthy. Kornacki is on TV explaining that what McCarthy needs is for members of the 20 Rs voting AGAINST him to vote "present" or to come toward him. Spartz voting "present" doesn't get McCarthy closer to his needed total, it takes a vote away from McCarthy.

Also bear in mind that Hakeem Jeffries is still getting 212 votes. The "majority" number in this past vote was 217. So that actually gets JEFFRIES closer.

LOL.

1: 21:Hahahaha Matt Gaetz is yelling at people on the House floor and Steve Scalise is yelling at people. Did y'all see last night where Sean Hannity said Republicans are on the "verge" of looking like clowns? "Verge."

1: 27:Oh, if you were wondering where lonely sad reject George Santos is today, he's hiding in the cloakroom and only coming in to vote for McCarthy and then go hide again. He's having the new year he deserves.

1: 30:And just like that, all of a sudden Santos's face is on the floor on MSNBC! So we guess he stopped hiding at least for now.

Meanwhile, Democrats are having fun again. 

“No Congressman… Democracy isn’t messy… but the House GOP is definitely a hot mess! #GOPClownShow #GOPinDisarray #ShortTermHouseRental”

— Jaime Harrison, DNC Chair (@Jaime Harrison, DNC Chair) 1672856283 

Note the #ShortTermHouseRental hashtag. LOL.

1: 39:Look at these dumb fucking goats bleating at each other. 

““A lot of animated conversations going on””

— Acyn (@Acyn) 1672857203 

1: 43:AND HERE WE GO AGAIN!

1: 48:Dumb hick nominating McCarthy this time babbling about how they need to elect McCarthy speaker so they can start investigations into whatever white Republican men are having hallucinatory fever dreams about today. Hunter Biden's penis probably.

Also says if those 20 Republicans don't trust Kevin McCarthy, WE DON'T TRUST THOSE 20 REPUBLICANS.

1: 51:This time Aguilar is nominating Jeffries because FUCK THE DOBBS DECISION and FUCK THE SUPREME COURT.

Abortions for everyone!

1: 53:Haha, this time Lauren Boebert is nominating Byron Donalds, and she's just calling McCarthy a piece of fuck.

“"an amazing man of Florida" -- Lauren Boebert on Byron Donalds”

— Aaron Rupar (@Aaron Rupar) 1672858435 

OOH Lauren Boebert says Donald Trump needs to stop calling them to say vote for Kevin McCarthy, says Donald Trump should call Kevin McCarthy and say YOU DON'T HAVE THE VOTES.

Jeers in the room. Amazing.

1: 59:Video:

“OH SNAP!”

— Aaron Rupar (@Aaron Rupar) 1672858435 

Note that Donalds was on Fox News while Boebert was nominating him.

2: 05:And that's the fifth ballot (unofficially) lost for McCarthy.

At this rate James Comer is never gonna find Hunter Biden's penis!

“Comer doesn't want to talk about anything but Hunter Biden”

— Aaron Rupar (@Aaron Rupar) 1668698666 

2: 40:Wellllll it looks like we're ending in the same place, approximately. (Definition of insanity, etc.) Victoria Spartz voted "present" again. Kevin McCarthy loses again. Former Rep. Justin Amash is hanging around in DC, just in case somebody wants him to be speaker now.

3: 02:UPDATES: We hear they are immediately going to go for a SIXTH humiliation for Kevin. And then probably adjourn for day so Kevin can go to his stolen fail-chamber and fail some more.

Also George Santos was sitting with Lauren Boebert, so that's about right.

3: 28:Everybody is interrupting this poor dumb idiot woman Kat Cammack from Florida who is just trying to say that the American people OVERWHELMINGLY voted for Kevin McCarthy. We just polled all Americans and they had no fucking idea what she was talking about.

She also just called Joe Biden "Obama's J.V. team."

And then she cracked herself up with a joke about Democrats loving watching Republicans fight, because they brought "popcorn, blankets and alcohol" to watch Republicans fail. Satisfied with her joke, and the jeers from Democrats, she started immediately complaining "the House is not in order!"

So she can go fuck herself.

3: 32:Seditionist dipshit Scott Perry says we're makin' history today, by electing the first Black Republican speaker! Did y'all know the first Black people in Congress were Republicans? Scott Perry has read about some Black history on his phone today!

People keep jeering at him.

Anyway, another vote to make McCarthy a loser now!

Here's your video of Kat Cammack being literal human garbage.

“Cammack: They want us to fight each other. That much has been made clear by the popcorn, alcohol and blankets that is coming over there. Democrats: *boo*”

— Acyn (@Acyn) 1672864109 

3: 52:You all might not be expecting this, but Kevin McCarthy has now (unofficially) lost the sixth vote.

4: 14:So they're up to 20 votes against McCarthy again. Ken Buck wasn't around the first time they called his name, but he said on TV earlier that vote number five was the last time his vote was guaranteed. Will he come in at the end and do something weird?

God knows what's going to happen at the end of this vote, if they're going to adjourn, or what. We shall see but we aren't sticking around forever, SPOILER ALERT. But if something crazy happens we will update (maybe).

Suspense!

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