

Discover more from Wonkette
Killing In The Name Of Keurig. Wonkagenda For Mon., Nov. 13, 2017
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things wemaybe talking about today.
Senate Republicans are flailing their arms and waving anĀ incompletereport from the Joint Committee on TaxationĀ that says the shrinking middle class will bigly win under the Trump/Ryan tax cuts (for the super rich.) Spoiler, it won't!
Over in the House,Ā Republicans are praying to the ghost of Ronald ReaganĀ that they can cobble enough votes together by Thursday or Friday.
A moment of reckoning is coming for Republicans over their Trump/Ryan tax cuts (for the super rich) as theĀ House and Senate continue to figure out just how many Ameros they'll try to reward mega donors withĀ for putting them in office.
Amid ALLEGATIONS that Alabama's gay hatin' Republican Senate candidate Roy Moore tried to hide his disco-era dick in young and teenage girls, Breitbart has the EXCLUSIVE story of howĀ WaPo is clearly lying since one of the girls wasn't bourgeois enoughĀ to have her own phone line.
Roy Moore did a fuck-the-press conference last night whereĀ he threatened to sue WaPo, blaming Mitch McConnellĀ and his LIBERAL media lemmings for telling everyone about his ALLEGED kiddie diddling.
Ā Two Navy SEALs are under investigation for killing a Green BeretĀ after he tried to blow the whistle on their ALLEGED scheme of stealing money earmarked for Not American snitches.
The Bannonites are trying to drag their next damaged lamb,Ā Darrell Scott, to the slaughterhouse of a congressional runĀ so that they actually have someone to lead their (no joke) "black people plan."
Some Earth First science bozos are complaining about aĀ global spike in carbon emissions,Ā calling it a "giant leap backwards for human kind." Geez, just get over it, and get yourself aĀ fashionable cyberpunk respiratorĀ already.
Democrats are quietly roaming the halls of the UNĀ attempting to strike their own agreements with Not AmericaĀ in an effort to thwart climate change.
Ā Not American students are bailing on US schools,Ā with 45% taking their colorful funny money to other parts of the world.
Former spy chiefs John Brennan and James Clapper were on teevee with Jake TapperĀ laughing off Trump's criticisms of their Russian reports,Ā calling it "a badge of honor" to be insulted by him, and stating thatĀ Trump is being "played" by Putin.Ā
The investigation into former HHS secretaryĀ Tom Price's fancy flights is sucking in more peopleĀ like some sort of mysterious tropical triangle.
Ā Trump says he'll announce a trade deal on Wednesday,Ā but he isn't saying what the deal is -- so it's either a bunch of bullshit, or a Trumped-up TPP.
Ā Trump met with Rodrigo Duterte and thanked himĀ for showering him withĀ golden praises and red carpets.Ā The two (probably) talked about murdering journalists and critics in an effort to collectively "advance peace, to promote security."
More thanĀ 300 people have been killed in Iran after an earthquakeĀ measuring 7.3; state officials are reporting almost 4,000 injured.
Wearing their best track suits and puffy vests, a bunch ofĀ Eurotrash neo-Nazis marched through Poland this weekendĀ -- clearly they're unaware that actual Nazis tried to murder their grandparents almostĀ 80 years ago.Ā
A Vietnamese security firm is claiming that it hasĀ broken Apple's new FaceID security feature with time,Ā effort andĀ a $150 3-D printed maskĀ as nerds everywhere search for their shocked face."
The NSA is going Roto-Rooter to look for moles and holes inside its lead-lined walls in an attempt to find outĀ who the fuck is leaking secrets to evil black hat hackers.Ā
Some US officials are raising red flags about a Chinese (42% state-owned)Ā security camera manufacturer that has been dominating the big brother eye marketĀ . Insert your favoriteĀ William GibsonĀ quote here. [Ā ArchiveĀ ]
Ā Hannity is going to WAR with KeurigĀ for pulling its ads for hisĀ defense of Roy Moore, and calling on his brainwashed husks toĀ #RageAgainstTheCoffeeMachine.Ā
When she's not busy being an asshole to everyone in DC,Ā Omarosa says she does "everything" at Trump's White House,Ā but Crom only knows what the hellĀ that actually means.Ā
And here's your late night wrap-up!
John Oliver Ā brought back the Catheter Cowboy to look at the lastĀ year under Trump;Chelsea Handlerhad someĀ talky time with Kentucky congressional hopeful Amy McGrathĀ ;Bill MaherwasĀ Checking In On Jared KushnerĀ ;SNLcan't believe howĀ Roy Moore gives more children in Alabama nightmaresĀ than Jeff Sessions and Mike Pence, and wonderedĀ what lessons the Democrats learned last Tuesday.Ā
And here's your morning Nice Time!
The critically endangered Columbia Basin pygmy rabbit (it's North America's super smol bunbun)!
Ā Help us out, give us money!Ā We need it to pay the bills (and buy cheap coffee).
Ā Follow Dominic on Twitter,Ā and send him cuddly puppies!