Kristi Noem Fails Texas History But Wears Cool US Flag Hat For Extra Credit
Yeah, Trump's gonna pick her as his VP.
Kristi Noem is an idiot, but she’s thin and white so that’s good enough in America for her to run one of the Dakotas. She almost killed most of her constituents with COVID and now she’s hankering to get them into a civil war with the United States.
The South Dakota governor bragged on Fox News, which she later shared on her Xitter account, that she’s willing to load up a pickup truck with razor wire and drive down to Texas herself as a show of support for Gov. Greg Abbott. She probably doesn’t appreciate the irony in offering out-of-state assistance to someone who’s violating what she considers an unjust law. After all, she probably struggles with the definition of “irony.”
Yeah, those past couple paragraphs weren’t kind, but Noem snapped my last nerve like a twig when she turned up on Fox News again wearing a badass grandma hat and spouting absolute nonsense.
“Texas and those 13 original colonies would have never signed the treaty that formed the first Constitution of the United States if they didn’t think their right to protect themselves and defend their own people was protected,” Noem said.
Look, Kristi Noem is just an average American who delivers razor wire to homicidal governors. Still, you’d think she’d have some grasp of basic US history, the type of facts that small children learn through nursery rhymes.
The 13 original colonies were Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, and Virginia. Texas was not one of them. Texas was part of Spain during the Revolutionary War and when the Continental Congress adopted the Articles of Confederation in 1777. Mexico gained independence from Spain in 1821 after a bloody war. Its territory included Texas.
The Republic of Texas would declare its independence from Mexico in 1836. At least, that’s what whitewashed history teaches. As I wrote back in 2021, when Abbott established his BS 1836 Project:
What really happened is that an increasingly large population of American settlers waged an armed rebellion against the centralist Mexican government. Immigration to Texas was opened to Americans in 1820, and by 1835 there were 10 times more Americans than Mexicans in Texas. Mexico should've built a wall.
A major catalyst for the Texas Revolution was — you guessed it! — slavery. The Texas economy was dependent on cotton, which was only profitable when enslaved people picked it for free. Vicente Guerrero, then president of the Republic of Mexico, declared that all enslaved people were emancipated, and those were fighting words for Anglo settlers.
Texas was admitted into the union as the 28th state in 1845 — just under the wire on December 29. The process took almost a decade because of squabbles over slavery. Eventually, the enslavers won out and Texas entered the US as a slave state. Considering the sheer size of Texas (an estimated population of 125,000 people), this set the clock ticking on the inevitable Civil War. When Texas seceded from the union just more than 15 years later, it declared:
The Federal Government, while but partially under the control of these our unnatural and sectional enemies, has for years almost entirely failed to protect the lives and property of the people of Texas against the Indian savages on our border, and more recently against the murderous forays of banditti from the neighboring territory of Mexico; and when our State government has expended large amounts for such purpose, the Federal Government has refused reimbursement therefor, thus rendering our condition more insecure and harrassing than it was during the existence of the Republic of Texas.
Some things never change, including the scope of Kristi Noem’s ignorance and stupidity.
Talk amongst yourselves.
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I really need this month to be over. I need this week to go by as fast as possible.
But it's right when you need time to fly that it breaks its melonfucking wings and ends up dragging itself forward by its beak.
She's an oron. That's a moron, with Noem.