430 Comments
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Anotherangle01's avatar

"Here’s a thought experiment: Noem’s dad gets into a bad accident while not wearing a seatbelt and permanently cripples himself so badly he can never work again. Does he turn down any federal disability he might qualify for, which of course would be paid by the taxpayers?"

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Kristi's dad is one of those rare types that would actually turn down the federal disability money. He's one of those types who's like, if they're not living life fully, then they'd rather be dead. These types of people, after a debilitating accident/personal medical emergency that has permanently puts them out of commission, will try to find a way to finish the job. The ones that they leave behind will see this as a final selfish act.

At least Kristi's libertarian conservativism comes from a real place, especially if you grew up from day one having a dad who would never stop complaining about big government and seatbelts, wearing motorcycle helmets, and the government non stop raising taxes on cigarettes. Since I'm kinda close to Kristi's age, I can remember some of those early big government complaints from proto RWNJ's. One of my earliest political memories was my Native Grandma had some neighbors who lived across the street from her in Norman, OK who also had a locksmith business on the property. I remember they had a sign on the locksmith side of the property that said, "I'm a smoker, and I vote!!!" As a kid, I thought they were a dying breed, since many men and women (including both of my grandfathers) of my hometown did die of smoking relating causes, but as a adult, that was the beginning of today's GQP.

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Regret's avatar

Typo: "teportedly" should probably be "reportedly".

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Mark Linimon's avatar

"and he was speaking clearly". Clear, authentic, frontier gibberish.

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JCfromNC's avatar

On one of the previous Noem stories, I had a discussion with another non-commenter here over their saying that she had "let her dog run loose" in a yard full of chickens. I responded that I felt like that was mischaracterizing things, as the version we were getting at that point was that the dog was in the truck, got loose unexpectedly, and then went on its chicken-killing spree. So "let the dog run loose" sounded like a deliberate act on her part, whereas "got loose" was more negligence. And without any facts about how the dog was secured or whether she had given any thought to securing the dog, I was only willing to go so far as negligence.

But hey -- if she had the dog loose in the back of the truck when she popped by the neighbors? Yeah, she might as well have deliberately let the dog out in the yard, because only a very great fool would expect a poorly-trained dog, who's been chasing birds all day, to ignore a bunch of fat, slow-moving birds in a yard and stay in the back of the truck unsecured.

So, my apologies to my two fellow non-commenters, I now agree with your characterization of the whole thing.

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fuflans's avatar

i must confess the chicken murder spree is the only part of this sorry story to make me laugh a little.

and it's still chicken murder spree.

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Gary. Kristi is a KKKlown.

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BlueSpot's avatar

"Before the trailer could turn into an unguided rocket bouncing around in traffic". Gee, don't you just hate it when that happens?

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diane's avatar

In the early sixties, my father, a physician, had seatbelts installed in our cars before they were standard equipment.

Noem's father was a colossal moron. Just don't wear them, for fuck's sake. Cut them out? Wow.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I guess he showed them.

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Pisto75666's avatar

"Here’s a thought experiment: Noem’s dad gets into a bad accident while not wearing a seatbelt and permanently cripples himself so badly he can never work again. Does he turn down any federal disability he might qualify for, which of course would be paid by the taxpayers?"

Turns down the disability AND blames liberals. Like any good conservative /s

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funnyhaha's avatar

So, is her next excuse "I can't help it, I was born stupid - look at my dad, for fuck's sake? I got half my genes from that moron."

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DJ Teetop's avatar

Trump's Renegade Spirit sounds like an 0 for 45 maiden at the racetrack, racing in a bottom level claimer at 99-1.

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CausticCounterpoint's avatar

You called Kristi Noem a "pigeon-brained fuckwit," Gary. However, those two pigeons [Steve Buscemi and Henry Winkler] on the new DirecTV commercial are way, way smarter and funnier than Kristi Noem. You did get the "fuckwit" part right though.

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William Donnell's avatar

Mr. Pink and the Fonz? Oh, my...

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Ukraine/Haitian's avatar

her dad had some kind of accident that left him either dead or unable to work. that's why she dropped out of college, that and he fact she was knocked up

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AJ Milne's avatar

Thinkin’ wanna see the aurora this evening. Told we get clear skies in an hour or soon. Lot of darkish places within a reasonable jaunt around here too. Sometimes living places not really that hospitable to human habitation has its perks.

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Michael Cross's avatar

This is what happens when you live your adult lifetime in a rightwing media bubble. The GOP went from using misinformation to deceive voters, and at some point they actually started to believe their own lies, and have departed from the realm of facts, reality, and logical reasoning.

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William Donnell's avatar

And we LIKED IT that way!

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zb23's avatar

"not a dog on a leash inches away from the barrel of Noem’s hunting rifle."

a rifle might've been more humane. she was using a shotgun. and since the goat took two shots... she clearly maimed it first.

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William Donnell's avatar

Birdshot. Goat was no doubt thinking "Now look at me. Disfigured by a whiskey-dick lawyer. "

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CausticCounterpoint's avatar

Kristi Noem is a duplicitous douchebag who richly deserved the public humiliation of the past two weeks. The Cricket story was just the act I of her ghostwritten shitshow. When the fabricated Kim Jong-un meeting retraction was handled so maladroitly, she had dug herself into a hole so deep she was almost in North Korea.

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Ukraine/Haitian's avatar

am i wrong for wishing she conflated the stories and shot Kim Jong Un?

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