Kyrsten Sinema Was Too Busy Breaking Up Someone's Marriage With Tawdry Affair To End Filibuster

Or do anything else useful while she was in the Senate.

Here at Wonkette, we love two things: Our readers and mess. Also booze. Also donations so we can buy booze. Okay, four things.

Let us focus on the mess for now, which comes to us courtesy of former US senator for Arizona and owner of many, many psychedelic wigs Kyrsten Sinema. She might be out of politics, but she’s still in our hearts.

Well, the heart of one of her bodyguards, anyway, allegedly. Unfortunately, said bodyguard was already married to someone else until an (alleged!) affair with Sinema led to the couple’s divorce. Now the scorned wife is suing Sinema in the state of North Carolina for breaking up her marriage through “willful and wanton conduct.” Shouldn’t that be misconduct? Either way, what a country!

Why North Carolina? Well, it’s the state where the bodyguard, Matthew Ammel, and his former wife Heather live. It is also a state that has an “alienation of affection” law that allows for this sort of suit. So Sinema might have been banging the bodyguard in — as best we can tell from the complaint — Nevada, California, Arizona, New York, Saudi Arabia, and possibly Tennessee. But she might still have legal liability in North Carolina. America!

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The Ammels’ marriage seems to have been a pretty standard-issue union involving a spouse in the military. While Matthew Ammel was off training and deploying overseas, Heather Ammel held down the fort at home, taking care of the house and the couple’s three kids. Which, being a full-time job in itself, meant Matthew was the family’s sole breadwinner.

Matthew finally retired from the military, but like a lot of vets, he struggled with PTSD and substance abuse. In 2022, he managed to land a job as part of Sinema’s security detail. This wound up being fatal to his marriage, but he can’t say he wasn’t warned. From the complaint:

In the fall of 2023, Defendant’s head of security resigned from her position. Prior to leaving, Defendant’s head of security expressed to Mr. Ammel she had concerns Defendant was having sexual relations with other security members. She encouraged Mr. Ammel to leave with her, but Mr. Ammel decided to stay due to the financial security of the job.

It is unclear when exactly the affair began. But sometime in early 2024, Sinema (allegedly!) started sending Matthew messages of “romantic and lascivious nature,” which is clearly legal-speak for the then-Senator having been hornier than a hoot owl.

At the time, Sinema was lobbying for laws that would allow the use of psychedelics to treat PTSD in veterans. She suggested at one point that Ammel bring MDMA on a work trip so she could “guide him through a psychedelic experience.” She later paid for him to receive psychedelic treatment, immediately before flying him out to Napa for a weekend. (Remember, Sinema loves Napa.)

In addition to all the trips and Ecstasy, somewhere in there Sinema put Ammel on her Senate payroll as a “Defense and National Security Fellow.” So he was working as both her personal security guard AND on her Senate staff. Which means the taxpayers were paying for Sinema to have her married boy toy around.

As is common in these situations, Matthew Ammel told his wife that golly gee, his boss sure was affectionate and it made him super-uncomfortable:

Mr. Ammel acknowledged to Plaintiff that Defendant was handsy with him at this event. Defendant held his hand and touched him. Mr. Ammel expressed to Plaintiff he didn’t know how to get out of the situation without offending Defendant.

He got over that right quick. By May or June, he stopped wearing his wedding ring and told his wife it was for “public optics,” so it would not look like Sinema was putting her hands all over a married man when they were out at “concerts and various public events.”

The other option was that Sinema could have simply not put her hands all over a married man, but apparently such restraint would have been too much for her, allegedly.

Have you learned more than you ever wanted to know about Kyrsten Sinema? Probably, but there was this anyway:

Well. What positions does Sinema prefer for sexual congress? Standing up? Reverse Cowgirl? Happy Baby? Pearly Gates? Wheelbarrow? Spin Cycle? The Hurly-Burly? Dogleg Left? The Grasshopper? Johnny on the Spot? The Pretzel? The Flatiron? Seven Minute Abs? The Bee Sting?

Maybe we’ll find out if the case goes to some sort of trial. That will be exciting. For a bonus, see if you can correctly guess which of those names we made up.

Heather Ammel found out about the (allegedly!) affair and sent at least one text to Sinema slamming her for stealing a married man. But it appears to have kept going, and eventually the Ammels’ marriage was over. Thus we get to the heart of the legal complaint:

Beginning in or prior to 2023, Defendant, with actual knowledge of the Marriage between Plaintiff and Mr. Ammel, began to willfully and intentionally seduce, entice, and alienate the affections of Mr. Ammel, and began to wrongfully and maliciously deprive Plaintiff of the warmth, companionship, love, affection, consortium, society, financial contributions, services, and attention of Mr. Ammel.

To say nothing of the mental anguish Heather Ammel suffered, which she also details: depression, anxiety, financial hardship, being stuck as the single mom of three kids, and so on.

Best of all, according to the complaint, the affair is still going on. Heather Ammel claims Sinema is often in North Carolina to visit Matthew, and that she drove him both to a divorce mediation at a lawyer’s office and to the family home so he could pack up the last of his stuff.

A day after the story broke, Sinema was in Utah to participate in a panel discussion with the state’s governor, Spencer Cox, whom you may remember from his recent gargling of Charlie Kirk’s deceased balls. The subject of the discussion was “disruption” in politics and tech.

Then the conversation itself got disrupted:

Then a man wearing a suit stood up, declaring: “Ladies and gentlemen, I have a confession to make.”

“I am actually having an affair with Kyrsten Sinema,” he continued.

It wasn’t immediately clear to the audience if it was a planned bit. He continued yelling as staff escorted him out of the room.

We would be shocked if it was a planned bit. Kyrsten Sinema is a lot of things, but she was also raised in the Mormon church. The chances that she wanted to interrupt a serious discussion to draw attention to a news story painting her as an adulterous hellcat who broke up someone’s marriage to a room likely filled with quite a few Mormons seem remote.

A couple of minutes after the first guy was dragged out of the room, and after Sinema joked that she had not planned the interruption, a second man stood up and started yelling that he had also been having an affair with Kyrsten Sinema. He was also quickly dragged out.

Here’s video of the whole thing:

The Salt Lake City police did not comment to the local paper, so we can’t know if the two men were serious or doing a bit or just two guys driven slightly mad by how hard it might have been to get a cup of coffee at this event.

It’s all very tawdry and gross, of course. But it is the sort of selfish behavior we came to expect from Sinema during her time in office, where she was known for ignoring her constituents while sucking up to every lobbyist she could. She had to quit running for re-election because even if she wanted to run, she was going to get trounced in a Democratic primary.

So it seems appropriate that this grotesque lawsuit be the last we ever hear of Kyrsten Sinema. We hope. Good fucking riddance.

[NYT / Heather Ammel’s legal complaint / Salt Lake Tribune]

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