Labor Day Weekend, Wonkabout Style

The three-day fuckoff of BBQs and booze that marks the end of summer is unfortunately here. Real Americans are taking the dollar or two they have left in their bank accounts, loading their Winnebagos with beef jerky, and heading to the local landfill for the weekend. But if you're doing Labor Day the Elite Way and sticking around the Nation's Capital, you can enjoy yourself only if you listen to us and do at least three-quarters of the things on our handy-dandy guide to this purposeless day/weekend of rest.

•  Saint-Ex:  And, here, look, a BBQ and some booze: Saint-Ex is shutting down T Street NW on Monday from 11AM-5PM for a Labor Day BBQ. $10 gets you pulled pork, homemade potato salad and fresh coleslaw. Beer will be discounted as well. And because you can't have a Labor Day boozefest unless it somehow saves the children, ALL the proceeds from the event are going to the Fillmore Arts Center.

•  Solly's:  Another BBQ and boozefest, only this one is at Solly’s and it offers FREE BBQ, PBR on SALE (actually reasonably priced?) for $2, and the chance to play Connect Four on an oversized game board. In case you didn't think it could get any better, you can give all the money you save on PBR to charity -- the event's also a fundraiser for the Capital Area Food Bank.

•  Music on the Mall:  The National Symphony Orchestra is hosting a Labor Day Capitol Concert Sunday on the Mall starting at 8PM. It’s a free thing that you may feel compelled to do for no other reason than it's free. The same logic applies to theCorcoran Gallery of Art -- this is the last Saturday where admission is free.

•  Baseball:  The Nats are ... still around? Sure. Watching a baseball game is a very Labor Day weekend thing to do. On Monday they play the New York Mets at 1: 05PM.

•  Pool Parties:  Everyone's favorite hipsters are wrapping up their summer camp pool parties at the Capitol Skyline this weekend, which is sad? The $15 ticket includes drinks, squirt guns, music, and tons of free shit. Most of the DC public pools -- which are an excellent source of FREE refreshment -- are closing for the summer on Monday, September 6, which IS sad.

•  Jazz in the Garden : The second-to-last Jazz in the Garden is this Friday. Yes, it will be unbearably hot in the garden, but sitting on the grass in the miserable heat with friends and alcohol is What One Does in DC in the summer, so ignore all the reasons why it's terrible and go!