Laissez Les Bon Temps F*CK ICE. Tabs, Fri., Dec. 5, 2025

That's New Orleans French for FUCK ICE.

Dec 05, 2025

We may have mentioned this already, but Donald Trump’s ICE terrorists have invaded New Orleans. Just in time for us to be in town with our friends, eating at various restaurants and like such as. Hooray.

So let’s do tabs!

The Bulwark’s Tim Miller, who lives in New Orleans, snapped this picture of the ICE Gestapo being the ICE Gestapo.

Miller tweet: Masked fucks pointing weapons at roofers outside New Orleans. No probable cause just targeting Hispanics working construction.

Coward loser motherfuckers.

On top of coward loser motherfuckers, we can add “fat, illiterate and violent.” Not our words, so don’t send the woke police officers to our door! A Daily Mail investigation — what is with right-wing rags eviscerating the Trump dipshits lately? — has found that Kristi Noem’s big campaign to hire 10,000 new pigfuck Nazis for ICE has had predictable results.

An exhaustive Daily Mail investigation has exposed how Immigration and Customs Enforcement has lowered standards so dramatically that the new cohort now includes recent high school graduates and applicants who can ‘barely read or write’ as well as those who lack basic physical fitness and even have pending criminal charges. […]
‘We have people failing open-book tests and we have folks that can barely read or write English,’ one Department of Homeland Security (DHS) official told the Daily Mail.
‘We even had a 469-lb man sent to the academy whose own doctor certified him not at all fit for any physical activity.’ […]
Sources say another male recruit, after hitting the bars, was caught barging into a female dorm and hitting on the occupants. Another groped a woman in class.
‘It wasn’t like, “oops, I touched your boob”,’ one source said. ‘Nope, he went full on to predator mode while he was doing the defensive tactics training.’

Sorry, that just sounds like ICE to us. [Daily Mail]

Maybe that’s why they’ve got the Louisiana Department of Wildlife and Fisheries doing ICE arrests. So if you see a Louisiana wildlife ranger doing ICE arrests, make sure you yell things about how they probably like to fuck alligators, fucking gross creeps, ooh, I bet your first girlfriend was an alligator, I bet she called you her little swamp thing. You know, whatever the Lord tells you to say to them. [Wired]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

You guys, the extremist partisan hack Supreme Court says racial gerrymandering is fine if Republicans do it.

That square-headed loser-stupid-looking MAGA dipshit Bill Pulte — why do they all have that James Comer fat square-headed loser-stupid MAGA face, are they all related? — is now under investigation by the Government Accountability Office. Surprise, they are looking into how he was able to wholly invent the “mortgage fraud” cases against Letitia James, Adam Schiff, Eric Swalwell, and every other Democrat who was every born, regardless of whether or not they have or have ever had a mortgage. [NBC News]

Who made the pardon of that Honduran coke kingpin happen? Roger Stone made the pardon of that Honduran coke kingpin happen. [Wall Street Journal]

Lawmakers got to see Secretary Shitfaced’s boat murder video yesterday, and sounds like it went great.

Natasha Bertrand: Lawmakers are apparently being shown the full video of the Sept 2 boat strikes in their meetings with Adm Bradley and Gen Caine. HIMES: “what I saw in that room was one of the most troubling things I’ve seen in my time in public service…you have two individuals and clear distress, without any means of locomotion, with a destroyed vessel, were killed by the United States.” — caption...

Of course, Tom Cotton thought the video was just great, we bet his pencil-neck got a full erection while he watched, fucking sicko. [Manu Raju]

What a very shock, millennial Republicans are much more likely to cop to being racist than Boomer Republicans. (They all are vile and racist.) [Newsweek]

Have fun with this nice Jay Kuo about the four Republican women who hate that slimy bastard Mike Johnson the most and are making his life a living hell the most. It is called “Four Horsewomen of the GOP Apocalypse.” [Jay Kuo]

Wow, sounds like CBS News is definitely Great Again if Bari Weiss is going to do a town hall with Erika Kirk. [Guardian]

Have you been following this “funny” back-and-forth where Secretary Shitfaced is like “Oh boy, I wouldn’t want Stephen Miller to babysit my kids!” and Stephen Miller is like “it is probably because if I babysat his kids they would come home telling him to deploy the military to help me attack and terrorize Somali Americans!” and everybody is like “Ha! Ha!” because they are just joking around and having a little bit of fun? [HuffPost]

Why have Melania Trump read Melania Trump’s audiobook when AI SPANISH LATINA ROBOT MELANIA can read Melania Trump’s audiobook IN ROBOT SPANISH. [HuffPost]

Look at this very nice Christmassy invitation JD Vance sent for the Hanukkah party at his house.

Just an embarrassment a minute with these fools. [Mediaite]

Remember, folks, if you go to the Hanukkah party at JD Vance’s house, don’t sit on a couch! All the couches are JD’s seat.

And we’ll call that your tabs since we, again, are in New Orleans, with the Gator Fucker Gestapo, but we didn’t come here to see them, because fuuuuuuuck those losers.

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