Wonk up, wakettes, happy Monday! Let’s catch up on the news!
It’s getting hotter in the Caribbean: US forces have now killed at least 43 people in 10 boat attacks in international waters off the coast of Venezuela, and still offered no evidence that any of those people were narco-terrorists, or that the Venezuelan president directs the Tren de Aragua gang. Just some extrajudicial mass murder! Meanwhile, over the weekend, ships and troops amassed in the Caribbean Sea, including the USS Gerald R. Ford, the world’s largest aircraft carrier, the Iwo Jima amphibious ready group, and the USS Gravely, a guided-missile destroyer. There’s at least 10,000 troops there now, and the Commander-in-Chief says he is considering “land action.” (Washington Post gift link / BBC)
Federal Judge Sara Ellis has five hours worth of questions for Border Patrol commandant Gregory Bovino, and some for two of his underlings, too. Like why ICE keeps tear-gassing people against her order. (Chicago Sun-Times)
Ahead of a meeting between President Trump and Chinese President Xi Jinping on Thursday, Tres. Sec. Scott Bessent is touting that while there’s plans for frameworks for a trade deal, the Chinese likely still won’t be selling any rare earth minerals to the US for at least a year. Heck of a deal, Scotty. [Wall Street Journal gift link]
Trump is on an Asian tour this week, kicking off yesterday with the 47th Summit of the Association of Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN) in Malaysia.
Meanwhile, he’s jacked up tariffs on Canada by 10 percent, bitter that the Canadian province of Ontario ran an anti-tariff ad quoting Ronald Reagan during the first two games of the World Series. Trump is the one who stalled trade negotiations with Canada in the first place, but never mind that! Now he says trade talks are extra double cancelled, WAH WAH, and whining that Reagan DID TOO love tariffs! (He didn’t.) (New York Times archive link)
Haven’t heard that Chesterfield-smoke-marinated voice in many a year!
Anyway, those Trump tariffs are kicking America in the pocketbook and the breadbasket. And some farmers are starting to wonder why Trump is bailing out Argentina, yet can’t scrounge up any bailout for them, or even better yet, why he can’t quit his tariff tantrums and fix the mess he made, so they can afford fertilizer and tractors and find a market for their products! (New York Times archive link)
On Friday New York Attorney General Letitia James pleaded not guilty in Virginia federal court to those mortgage fraud charges. She says she’s going to stand up and be tall, and that she has faith in the justice system and NO FEAR of hairdo and company. Her trial is scheduled for January 26. (Al Jazeera)
Trump has reportedly been bagging on the Speaker of the House Mike Johnson behind his back, crowing, “I’m the speaker AND the president.” RIP, representative democracy, dead and buried alongside those Epstein files! (New York Times archive link)
Reportedly the mystery donor who gave Trump $130 million towards paying the military last pay period was reclusive billionaire heir Timothy Mellon. His stepmother Bunny designed the Rose Garden that Trump tore up; apparently Timothy did not like his new extra mom much. Anyway, guess the military is Trump’s and his insider oligarchs’ private army now? (New York Times archive link)
But LOOKIE HERE, military deployment to Portland is on hold again. The full 9th circuit reversed its own ruling after discovering that the Trump administration had lied in court, claiming that there were more troops already in Portland than there are, so they could be like, we’re not deploying any new troops, because they were already there! The balls on these people! (Law and Crime)
Doesn’t seem that anyone is going to bail out those SNAP benefits, though, and there will be no food aid going out on November 1st. The regime could tap emergency funds, but says it’s not going to. More than 12 percent of Americans get some kind of food aid (which is insane!) most of them are children and senior citizens, and more of them are in red states than blue ones. (ABC)
Efforts to doxx members of the public who didn’t mourn Charlie Kirk sufficiently have fallen apart. One site was taken down after it turned out to have been registered with false information, another had its users exposed in a hack. Whoops! (Salon)
Sounds like X is about to become an even worse experience, Elon Musk says its algorithm will soon be Grok (AKA MechaHitler) deciding which content users will see. (Social Media Today)
Enjoy AOC bringing the heat at a rally yesterday for Zohran Mamdani! Bernie Sanders was there too.
Rest in peace, June Lockhart. (Parade)
TIL Lil Jon made a meditation album. Say YEAH! OKAY!
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Everybody loves carving pumpkins, even baby clouded leopards. Your hed gif info for today: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/gemma-and-meru-carving-pumpkins
And your meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/389a14fa-925a-4d7c-a34e-9a0b8437eb1d
Turn down for what? For the chill vibes. Namaste, shawty crunk!
The Lil Jon meditation mantras are my new favorite thing.