Lawlessness! Chaos! Incompetence! Bribe Plane! Greenland? Congress Demands Answers From Hegseth
... and doesn't get many. But watch him get broasted!
How’s it going with the rootin’-est, tootin’-est, white-nationalist-tattoedn’-est Defense secretary we’ve ever had? As demoralized National Guard troops were sleeping on floors and al fresco on cots in LA, and not getting paid, and Marines prepared to join the scrum, this week their embattled leader Pete *HIC* Hegseth turned his grey-pancaked face to the House and Senate Appropriations committees and the House Armed Service Committee for three days of questioning.
They had some questions for him about the budget the regime is asking for, because Hegseth’s budget-request homework is three months overdue and Congress has only gotten a sparse spreadsheet with a vague request for 13 percent more money. And they had other important questions that SecDef Boozebreath was unwilling or unable to answer. Hic.
Do excruciating exchanges give you hives? Then this is not the story for you, as it is full of clips of Hegseth stretch-Armstronging to give every question his Fox News treatment, and congresspeople dragging his smug, incompetent, propagandizing ass over the hot coals of truth (for what that is worth, any more).
Watch Rep. Mikie Sherrill, new Democratic nominee for New Jersey gov and a former Navy helicopter aircraft commander and Russian policy officer, by the way, call out the CHAOS at the Pentagon, and Hegseth’s three main categories of blazing incompetence. Did Trump order him to cut off aid to Ukraine, or was Pete just (HIC) confused about that? If it’s FAKE NEWS LIES that no one will work with Hegseth because of the incompetent shitshow he has made, and The Best People are clamoring for jobs, where are his nominees to replace all of the people he’s fired?
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Watch him try to put a positive spin on how he has no intention (HIC) of following court orders. “What I can say is, we should not have local judges determining foreign policy or national security policy for the country.” How dare those two-bit country hick “local” federal judges tell him and Lord God Trump what the law is!
Swell. Meanwhile an appeals court decided last night that National Guard troops can stay in Los Angeles, at least until a hearing on an appeal can be held Tuesday; “courts will let Trump do it for now” is the chorus of democracy’s funeral dirge.
Massachusetts Rep. Seth Moulton had questions about SignalGate. Where did Pete Perkyfingers get that information about the attack he was babbletapping about in detail on the Signal chat, was that secret information? Does he know what secret information even is? SecDef Groupchat can’t tell you, it is a secret. Watch his hooch-hole make words.
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MOULTON: When you texted the launch times for F-18s going into combat, over enemy territory, facing anti-aircraft missiles, on an unclassified Signal chat, did that launch time come from Central Command, yes or no?
HEGSETH: Uh, I know what you’re referring to, and there were no…
MOULTON: It’s a very simple question, did it come from Central Command?
HEGSETH: Well, in this committee, no way in which I communicate, or what I communicate on a successful strike is something that I would share.
Is that supposed to make him look GOOD, that he’ll only communicate about strikes before they happen?
MOULTON: So you can’t even identify the combatant command under which this operation occurred?
HEGSETH: Well, everybody knows …
MOULTON: Okay, everybody knows the Central Command. So when Central Command sent you this information, did they send it on a classified system, or an unclassified system?
HEGSETH: Well, as you know, having served yourself, any way that the secretary of Defense communicates or provides information in and of itself is classified, and not to be discussed.
Yes, asshole, that’s the point.
MOULTON: So what was the classification marking of the launch time when it was sent to you? Because DOD regulations require information on classified systems to be marked.
HEGSETH: What was the classification mark time?
BITCH DID HE STUTTER?
MOULTON: Yes, what was the classification marking?
HEGSETH: Again, classifications of any information in an ongoing operation that was successful are not things that would be disclosed in a public forum. You know that.
DIPSHIT WHEN YOU TEXTED ALL THAT, THE OPERATION WAS NOT SUCCESSFUL YET. THAT IS THE POINT. How does time even work?
MOULTON: You can very well disclose whether or not it was classified. It’s not classified to disclose whether or not it was classified. And in fact DOD regulations state that any classified information has to be labeled with its classification. Was it classified “secret,” or “top secret”?
HEGSETH: What’s not classified is that it was an incredibly successful mission against the Houthis.
MOULTON: Okay, so it was classified. Are you trying to say it was unclassified?
This is like having gum stuck in your hair.
Let’s move on to how much will it cost to get Trump’s Big Beautiful Qatari Bribe Plane flying. Why, that’s a secret too!
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SEN. JACK REED: Why can’t it be revealed? This is the Appropriations Committee of the United States Senate. We appropriate the money that you will spend after it’s authorized by my committee, and you cannot tell us how much the contract is for?
Has the contract even been signed? Hegseth is not aware! What a fucking mess.
Are we going to take Greenland and Panama by force if necessary? Is there a plan for that?
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Of course there is a plan! The American people WANT him to have a plan to take over Greenland.
GOP Rep. Mike Turner attempted to ride to Sideburns’ rescue.
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Will we invade Greenland, he’s not saying no! He wants to work with Greenland to make sure it is secure from threats. “Working with” them the way he is “working with” California, or the way he is “working with” Ukraine?
Sheeit, even Lindsay Graham is fed up with how pig-stupid he is.
Is Putin going to stop in Ukraine?
“This is the ‘30s all over!” YEAH NO SHIT!
Let us wrap up with Rep. Salud Carbajal telling him to his face on Thursday in the House Armed Services Committee that he’s an embarrassment. NOT TODAY, MUTHAFUCCCKKKAAA.
Does serving in the Trump admin require a loyalty test?
Does the pope poop in a Vati-can? (Just made that one up on the spot!)
“I’m not going to waste my time anymore. You’re not worthy of my attention or my questions. You’re an embarrassment to this country. You’re unfit to lead, and there’s been bipartisan members of Congress that have called for your resignation. You should just get the hell out and let somebody competently lead this department.”
Hear, hear!
But Hegseth is not going anywhere any time soon, except maybe under his desk with a bottle of Wild Turkey. Getting rid of him would be the regime admitting defeat and weakness.
As someone told Jonathan Lemire of The Atlantic after Signalgate, “The last thing he wants to do is give you guys [in the media] a scalp.”
So now Gameshow Host President is stuck with him. And MAGA, of course, doesn’t care about competence or national defense any more. If Lord Trump wills it, it is good! On the upside, Hegseth is so incompetent he cannot even invade Compton, much less Greenland, *HIC*, or Panama.
On the downside, with Israel bombing Iran and all, sure would feel nice to have at least one reliably sober adult over at the Pentagon.
But, we are not getting that today! And probably not tomorrow, next week or next year.
HIC!
OT:
Today I took my newest step in my eternal quest to get the neurologist to change my pharmacy to the correct address.
Stay tuned to see if the silliness continues.
:)
Thalia and I are going to host a Wonkmeet at Reformation Brewery in Woodstock, GA, here are the details. The location has a very large beer garden as well as indoor seating. It is just off of I-575 north of Atlanta.
Here you go!
When :
Saturday, July 26th, 2025
5pm - 8pm
Where :
Reformation Brewery
105 Elm St, Woodstock, GA 30188
(678) 345-8080
https://woodstock.reformationbrewery.com/
Please join us for a lovely evening of brewing up good trouble! Reformation Brewery has both indoor and outdoor seating, has food available, and is both pet and kid-friendly. We'd love to see you there! Please email Thalia at realistic.caregiving@gmail.com to RSVP.
Edit : Please check out Reformation's website. It is a cool venue.