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A Gentle And Loving Reprimand For Chuck Todd, Because We Are Gentle And Loving
Gonna try that 'catch more flies with honey than vinegar' thing for like five seconds and then go back to being dicks.
Chuck Todd has had a couple moments of greatness lately. We know, it's weird! When the Ukrainium One Trump impeachment story really broke wide open, he hosted Louisiana GOP Senator John Kennedy. Todd got real mad at Kennedy, because Kennedy wouldn't stop saying stupid completely debunked lies about what Joe Biden supposedly did in Ukraine. A couple weeks later, he hosted Wisconsin GOP Senator Ron Johnson, and he YELLED AT RON JOHNSON, because Johnson was doing the same thing, saying stupid lies not only about Joe Biden, but also about how Ukraine was the real collusion in the 2016 election.
We have been impressed, quite frankly. And we have wondered where the real Chuck Todd is, and if he is safe, BLINK TWICE IF KIDNAPPED.
So it is in the spirit of gently correcting Todd, so as to keep him on the path of righteousness, that we must reprimand him today. It's not the biggest thing in the world, it's just that we care about him and want to encourage him as he tries to become a real live grownup journalist.
Todd had Rand Paul on Sunday morning's "Meet The Press." (First mistake.) Paul spewed a bunch of weird crap about how it's totally OK to do quid pro quos with Ukraine, because Ukraine is "corrupt," even though this is aid that had been appropriated by Congress. It was incredibly dumb, because everybody with two brain cells to rub together knows that Donald Trump doesn't give a shit about "corruption" in Ukraine or anywhere else, unless it's corruption that benefits him, in which case he's for it.
Paul also asserted that everybody in Congress is trying to manipulate Ukraine "to get some kind of investigation, either to end an investigation or start an investigation," and no, we have zero fucking idea what he was talking about. He did add that he is the only one in Congress who is not doing this to Ukraine, because he is obviously the only good and pure human in all of Congress. His point, obviously, was that Trump did a bad thing maybe, but SO DID JOE BIDEN AND HUNTER BIDEN, JOE AND HUNTER BIDEN DID THE BAD THING! (Joe Biden did absolutely nothing wrong. He was carrying out American foreign policy that was agreed on by literally everybody in the Western world.)
Here, have some video:
Rand Paul also said HILLARY CLINTON STEELE DOSSIER, at which point Todd seemed to accidentally accept Paul's dumbass framing. Don't do that, Chuck Todd!
TODD: You did it again, you went back and said, "OK there's behavior that's bad over here, there's behavior that's bad over there." All that does is condition us for more bad behavior! When do we put a stop to it?
PAUL: No [...] what I'm asking for is that they be treated equally. And I think the American public's going to say, "If you didn't do anything to Hillary Clinton for hiring a foreign spy, why is it, all of a sudden, wrong for President Trump --
TODD: So two wrongs make a right?
PAUL: --to have a country investigate somebody-- well, what I would say is that people want them to be treated fairly. I'm not saying, two wrongs make a right. I'm not even saying I would've done it that way. All I'm saying is, is that you're going to impeach President Trump, and you're going to give Hillary Clinton, you know, let her skate? So then I think people see that as unfair. And so it becomes partisan. That's why no Republicans voted for impeachment.
No, Chuck Todd, NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. Bad, Chuck Todd, bad!
You do not say "two wrongs make a right?" in response to Rand Paul hacking up phlegm about JOE BIDEN DID THE BAD UKRAINE THING or HILLARY IS THE REAL COLLUSION, because her campaign hired an AMERICAN company to look into Trump's ties with Russia, and that AMERICAN company contracted a respected (former) British spy, which is not against campaign contribution laws, as we explained thoroughly here.
Chuck Todd knows good and well that all the Joe Biden/Hunter Biden nonsense about Ukraine has been thoroughly debunked. He should also know that GOP bellyaching about the Steele Dossier is debunked bullshit.
So the answer to Rand Paul bringing that up in the context of the Trump impeachment over Trump hitting up a foreign government to investigate his political rivals is not to say "Two wrongs make a right?" You say, "How is your next-door neighbor doing, Rand Paul?" just to see if it makes Paul jump and look over his shoulder. If it does, you are permitted to take a few seconds to giggle. After that, you say, "Oh fuck off, Rand Paul, you dumbass."
As we said, we are saying this out of love, because young Chuck Todd really could have a future in this journalism thing if he keeps doing more like he's been doing, and less like this right here. It's hard, we know! GOP politicians spew 90,000 bullshits per second, and it's easy to accidentally adopt their entire framing, and then all of a sudden everybody on Twitter is calling you a chipmunk-looking dumbshit, which is frankly not very kind.
Democratic Rep. Jim Himes, who sits on the House Intelligence Committee, came on right after Rand Paul, and he also gently reprimanded Chuck Todd out of love, just like Wonkette is doing right now:
HIMES: Chuck, if you'll, if you'll grant me one second here, my head is only now decombusting from the exchange you had with Rand Paul. I've spent 11 years in public service defending the press, and when Senator Rand Paul comes on and says that what Donald Trump did -- and the transcript is there -- extorting a foreign government for his personal political gain, and that's exactly the same thing as Joe Biden, "Exactly the same thing," is what he said [...] When Joe Biden is acting in consistency with American foreign policy and back then we had a whole list of things that had to be done and this was American foreign policy, it was European Union policy, it was IMF policy that this prosecutor needed to go. When Rand Paul says that that's exactly the same thing as the president of the United States saying, "You need to find dirt on my political opponent," and with all due respect, Chuck, when you say, "Well, do two wrongs make a right?" Let's be very clear. The president of the United States demanding, extorting a vulnerable country to do his political bidding, to go after his opponent, has nothing to do with Joe Biden executing the foreign policy of the United States or Hillary Clinton, who is a private citizen, doing opposition research on her, on her presidential opponent. Those are radically different things. What the President did is wrong and impeachable.
That was a very good and loving correction, Jim Himes!
Hopefully our dear Chuck Todd is listening.
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