80 Comments

Sounds like a microcosm for most of my relationships.

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Flakka is a synthetic cathinone.

"Cathinone use can also cause rhabdomyolysis, which is a melting of the muscle tissue and the release of muscle fibers into the blood stream. This can lead to kidney failure and result in a user needing permanent dialysis."

Sounds awesome!

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i mean, c'mon guys, it IS walmart, after-all!

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Flakka and bath salts would be even awesomer!

Of course, considering the base-level craziness of many Floridians, they may not need chemical additives to behave bizarrely.

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So that's what they mean by "roll-back"?

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With the Texas legislature in session we local commie, dope smoking hippies in Austin can be a little pissy dealing with a town filled with shit-fer-brain legislators, ALEC and Kock Brothers. But my solution is to have all my friends read the Florida Correspondent on Wonkette. It makes us all feel a little better.

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the best part is:

'The boxes had to be thrown away'

yeah, right! SURE they were!

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That is one lucky kid. However finding the tooth again for the Tooth Fairy might be difficult.

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My ex husband had this happen after he exerted himself too hard at the gym to impress his trainer. Evidently it's really painful. At least that's what he said while I was sitting at his bedside for weeks. It was so painful, in fact, that the only cure was morphine and sticking his wiener in the trainer a few weeks after being released from the hospital. :P

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So that's where I've been going wrong!

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You mean a hoard of pro-lifers didn't rush in to "save" them? No wonder one of my old college buds used to call it "wasting children" - otherwise, he was pretty funny.

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U.S. Sugar should start an online petition. I hear those are effective.

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Brutal!

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So, is anyone surprised at the outcome of a murder plot involving David Elliot Moran? I mean, it's right there in his name for Christ's sake!

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They'll probably get better results with a GoFundMe campaign.

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I know where he came from

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