80 Comments
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glasspusher's avatar

Sounds like a microcosm for most of my relationships.

ryp's avatar

Flakka is a synthetic cathinone.

"Cathinone use can also cause rhabdomyolysis, which is a melting of the muscle tissue and the release of muscle fibers into the blood stream. This can lead to kidney failure and result in a user needing permanent dialysis."

Sounds awesome!

Tony Alexander's avatar

i mean, c'mon guys, it IS walmart, after-all!

Mehmeisterjr's avatar

Flakka and bath salts would be even awesomer!

Of course, considering the base-level craziness of many Floridians, they may not need chemical additives to behave bizarrely.

glasspusher's avatar

So that's what they mean by "roll-back"?

Fartknocker's avatar

With the Texas legislature in session we local commie, dope smoking hippies in Austin can be a little pissy dealing with a town filled with shit-fer-brain legislators, ALEC and Kock Brothers. But my solution is to have all my friends read the Florida Correspondent on Wonkette. It makes us all feel a little better.

Tony Alexander's avatar

the best part is:

'The boxes had to be thrown away'

yeah, right! SURE they were!

Darnyoudarnyoutoheck🧡🧡🧡's avatar

That is one lucky kid. However finding the tooth again for the Tooth Fairy might be difficult.

Jenny, a lowly Piñata Farmer🪅's avatar

My ex husband had this happen after he exerted himself too hard at the gym to impress his trainer. Evidently it's really painful. At least that's what he said while I was sitting at his bedside for weeks. It was so painful, in fact, that the only cure was morphine and sticking his wiener in the trainer a few weeks after being released from the hospital. :P

Jenny, a lowly Piñata Farmer🪅's avatar

So that's where I've been going wrong!

LeftCoastLeftie's avatar

You mean a hoard of pro-lifers didn't rush in to "save" them? No wonder one of my old college buds used to call it "wasting children" - otherwise, he was pretty funny.

Dr.  Hooker P. Tape's avatar

U.S. Sugar should start an online petition. I hear those are effective.

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

So, is anyone surprised at the outcome of a murder plot involving David Elliot Moran? I mean, it's right there in his name for Christ's sake!

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

They'll probably get better results with a GoFundMe campaign.

glasspusher's avatar

I know where he came from