182 Comments

Google suggests that an appearance with D.L. Hughley could result in an Ouroboros of cussing. Top result:

"‘Cussing Pastor’ rips DL Hughley with profanity-laden rebuke for claiming he cusses in pulpit"

https://www.christianpost.com/news/pastor-issues-profanity-laden-response-to-comedian-dl-hughley.html

I'm really hoping for a carpet-bombing of cluster F-Bombs, here.

Expand full comment

I forgotted a loaf of sourdough proofing in my fridge. I forgotted it for 4 days. I am baking it. For science. It could be a pancake. It could end up fantastic. It’s definitely going to be tangy!

Expand full comment

I am expecting updates on the results of this impromptu experiment in bread making.

Expand full comment

Geez.... what is it proofing, your dissertation or sumptin'?

Expand full comment

If it's big enough it could be soundproofing

Expand full comment

"....it creeps

And leaps and glides and slides

Across the floor

Right through the door

And all around the wall

A splotch, a blotch

Be careful of The Blob!"

Expand full comment

If you left it there to rise, it could be the size of a Buick.

Expand full comment

We have left it in the fridge for several days and it’s been fine.

Expand full comment

If it looked like a loaf of bread when it went into the pan I'm sure it'll be great.

Expand full comment

Please, keep us advised... ;>)

Expand full comment

OT, but I read the "funny" pages in my local paper every morning and came across this in my Twitter feed:

https://twitter.com/TheeFantomas/status/1790846048061002184

The best Calvin and Hobbes comics were when Bill was just dunking on other cartoonists by showing off how good an artist he was. Comics have only gotten wayyyy lower effort, and I mean worse than Family Circus levels of low effort.

https://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1993/01/31

Expand full comment

Who was it who said of the creator of Cathy, "She drops string on the floor and Xeroxes it"?

Expand full comment

It’s easy to forget what a great artist he is, his Spaceman Spiff strips were great too.

Expand full comment

Well, what can you do when the papers keep shrinking and shrinking the things so they can cram more into the page? That's why Trudeau demanded Doonesbury only be put on the editorial page.

Expand full comment

It's insane that they shrink the one part of the paper that people actually want.

Expand full comment

Dan Perkins, aka Tom Tomorrow, frequently complains that despite the comics being one of the things papers pay the least for, they always seem to be the first things on the chopping block when a publisher decides they need to "cut costs."

Expand full comment

"Well, if we're not selling, that means lay off journalists!"

Expand full comment

It's not easy, but even the single-panel comics have some great content. Far Side is classic, but even Dan Piraro's Bizarro makes me laugh to this day.

Expand full comment

LOL at "It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw."

Expand full comment

IIRC, the comics where Calvin is playing with Susie are supposed to be parodies of the few 'serious' comics that appeared in newspapers at the time. Think stuff like Mary Worth.

Expand full comment

We R Old. Apartment 3G.

Expand full comment

Rex Morgan/Mark Trail etc. yeah. Watterson was well-versed in the classics and it definitely comes through in his work.

Expand full comment

Live now and occasionally, anybody but Kamala Harris

Expand full comment

Reminded of Ralphie's old man from a Christmas story....

"He worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium; a master."

Expand full comment

OT:

Birb is trying to eat healthy.

Birb made sign. It has a circle on it, which is a plate.

It shows: one large square, which is a serving of grilled chicken or fish, with maybe a little sauce.

On the other side, are two portions of vegetables, and one of fruit.

Each of these will be two to four ounces per portion.

Mmmm.

I think every grocery store should put up a big chart, which says, "How to eat healthy!"

It would show this plate.

Expand full comment

It's certainly nourishing your math skills.

Expand full comment

2-4 ounces is enough for protein, but you can have more vegetables and maybe fruit if it's not high sugar (pineapple, mango, that kind of thing). You can have a whole apple, for example.

Expand full comment

Eat ALL. THE. BERRIES.

Expand full comment

ALL OF THEM.

Expand full comment

Apples: Good.

Expand full comment

Birb ate apple for breakfast!

Expand full comment

Apple is good! Also pears, berries, cherries. More fiber for the amount of sugar.

Expand full comment

Peaches, plums (I just got the first of those for the season, yay!)

Expand full comment

👍👍👍

Expand full comment

It's better than that gottdamn food triangle thingy which is the product of ubercrapitalism instead of what's actually good for hooomuns.

Expand full comment

Those things were really more for the Ag industry than for people

Expand full comment

The fat limitations are insane by any standard outside North America, afaik.

Expand full comment

A two dimensional pyramid, I mean come one, what is that even?

Expand full comment

A triangle!

Expand full comment

If we try aligning the food pyramid with Maslov's Hierarchy of Needs, we can logically conclude that a diet high in fats and sweets will contribute positively to self-actualization and psychological maturity.

Expand full comment

Yeah but that shit makes me fat.

Expand full comment

Believe it or not, back in the 80's, there were professional bodybuilders insisting you could be a muscle man by cramming desserts down your throat. People who kept forgetting they were guzzling drugs that kept them a 5% bodyfat.

Expand full comment

I need to test that theory.

Expand full comment

They call it a pyramid, I call it stooopitt.

Expand full comment

I'm old school. Taco has all the four food groups: meat, dairy, grains, fruits and vegetables.

Expand full comment

Actually, I think dairy is unnatural for hoomuns. But the dairy industry works hard to make that attitude politically incorrect. And I say this having grown up on a dairy ranch.

Expand full comment

Every few weeks I just barbecue a vegan and call it good.

Expand full comment

Relevant:

"Vegan Apocalypse" by Patrick Poe & Lolo Loren, IX Film Productions

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI3s0v9H9Zg

(5 min, 12 sec - you'll have the time)

Expand full comment

You are going to have to take B vitamins and mineral supplements if you only eat vegans.

Expand full comment

Mmm, tasty.

Expand full comment

I LIKE ALL OF YOUR COMMENTS ONCE AND FOR ALL! What is Substack's malfunction rn?

Expand full comment

If you refresh the page, your likes will suddenly appear.

Expand full comment

For some reason today it takes a while for the 'like' to register.

Expand full comment

Trying to subcontract independent contractor Disqus hamster power.

Expand full comment

Hamsters need more Provigil.

Expand full comment

Click on the like. It might not register on your screen but it will register eventually. At least some of mine did.

Expand full comment

I'm doing it but it's so unsatisfying!

Expand full comment

If it was satisfying the republican'ts would outlaw it.

Expand full comment

Right? Argh!

Expand full comment

So you're having issues with upfisting favorable non-comments as well?

I've been thoroughly frustrated with it and was wondering if perhaps I needed to shut down and restart this damned device.

Expand full comment

You too? I'm glad I'm not the only one ... "LIKES" for erry'body!

Expand full comment

Aye!

Expand full comment

Swamp nuts.

𝗥𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗙𝗹𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗮, 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗗𝗲𝗦𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝘂𝗯𝗯𝗲𝗱 ‘𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲’ 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝘄𝘀

Expand full comment

A dike from Fernadina Beach to Mobile Bay and Mexico is going to pay for it.

Expand full comment

No gay, You'll have to call it something else.

Expand full comment

Yeah, I was wondering where we'd find a Lesbian that tall...

Expand full comment

"NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW!"

~Dan Backslide

Expand full comment

* he screamed at the top of his lungs *

Expand full comment

My house is a LOT closer to the surf than it was 20 years ago, but that's probably just a coincidence of some kind.

Expand full comment

I bet the sand fleas are moving your house at night.

Expand full comment

Immigrant sand fleas.

Expand full comment

Thank you for the warning, so that I can make my delicate, impressionable preteen children (who LOVE presidential and VP press conferences!) wear their noise-cancelling headphones.

Expand full comment

As an educated woman with the vocabulary of a sailor [I have a sweatshirt that says that...] I feel inordinately proud of Vice President Harris articulating her membership in the sassy sisterhood of our well-versed variety of verbiage.

Too fuckin' erudite and fine...

Expand full comment

Fuck yeah.

Expand full comment

Interesting to me but most of the educated women I know have vocabularies that impress Li'l Feller. And Li'l Feller can cuss any grizzled chief petty officer under the table before even starting his first beer.

Expand full comment

Vocabulary of a sailor? OK, what does "luff the focsle" mean?

Expand full comment

Please, the children might hear.

Expand full comment

(Blushes...)

Hey. Not on the first date.

Expand full comment

Tourist Nerds on a sailboat:

[captain] Prepare to luff and come about!

[nerd one] Honey, they're preparing to luff and come about!

We crack ourselves open.

Expand full comment

I understood that reference dot meme!

Expand full comment

Farting at a sail?

Expand full comment

"Sneak into the captain's quarters and fart"

Expand full comment

There was a young lady from Bangor

Who slept while the ship was at anchor.

She woke in dismay

When she hear the mate say

"Yo! Hoist up the top sheet and spanker!"

Expand full comment

(so wrong, yet so amusing!)

Expand full comment

Wrong answers are the best answers :)

Expand full comment

finger raised/finger lowered dot meme...

Expand full comment

“At 70 years old if I could give my younger self one piece of advice, it would be to use the words ‘fuck off’ much more frequently.” — Helen Mirren

Expand full comment

I absolutely ADORE that woman!

Expand full comment

The Dame is rarely wrong.

Expand full comment
Comment deleted
May 16
Comment deleted
Expand full comment

Coined by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Expand full comment

Excuse me while I go vomit.

“Opinion by Marc A. Thiessen


In a matter of six months, Mike Johnson has gone from accidental House speaker to one of the most consequential House speakers in a generation.”

Bad WaPo. Bad. [uses spray bottle]

Expand full comment

consequential in that he is protecting and may throw the election for an amoral criminal

Expand full comment

it just ain't right that guy's got a regular column anywhere

Expand full comment

In fairness, catching Ebola is usually also consequential.

Expand full comment

More consequential than Merlot Boehner??

Expand full comment

If by "accidental" they mean he pisses his pants every time PAB wants him to do something, then yes.

Expand full comment

If by consequential you mean he's going down in history as perhaps the weakest and a great object lesson, maybe?

Expand full comment

Used to make fun of Theissen for being the objectively stupidest person working at WAPO, and then they went and hired 40% of the national review.

Give tbe boy some paste to eat, kiss records, and torture policies and let him color in peace.

Expand full comment

Thiessen is cretinous dogshit.

Expand full comment

Incorrigible!

Expand full comment

>wapo closes its eyes and continues to eat the flowers on the dining room table<

Expand full comment

It's good to get an occasional reminder that Bezos owns WaPo.

Expand full comment

It’s one of the reasons the degradation of the NYT is hard to stomach.

It’s one of the few papers that doesn’t need to rely on billionaire philanthropy to survive, and yet the feudal news lords who inherited the family trust believe the poor keep getting too uppity

Expand full comment

The Speaker who can do nothing without Democratic support because he cannot reign in his own fractious, contentious caucus of psychopathic clowns? Well, that’s a take, I suppose.

Expand full comment

con

sequential

Expand full comment
Comment deleted
May 16
Comment deleted
Expand full comment

The headline reads

“ Mike Johnson was on the ropes. Now he’s one of the most effective speakers ever.”

Expand full comment

It’s funny because it’s demonstrably untrue

Expand full comment

...for the Democrats

Expand full comment

There's a story about magician David Copperfield behaving inappropriately with teen models at the 1988 and 1991 "Look of the Year" modeling competitions, at which he was a judge. Another person who was judge at the 1991 event was DJT, who was also reportedly creepy towards the girls (https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/article/2024/may/16/david-copperfield-allegations). Gag.

Expand full comment

Yeah, seems Copperfield spent some serious time getting in touch with his inner Cosby. Allegedly.

Expand full comment

The PAB? Creepy towards women? Lady G's fainting couch, stat!

Expand full comment
Comment deleted
May 16
Comment deleted
Expand full comment

"Surprise, surprise, surprise1"

[Narrator: It is not a surprise.]

Expand full comment

Why DL Hughley? Seems like an odd choice

Expand full comment

He’s huge on black social media.

Expand full comment

Okay, I guess. I have no idea what's going in social media as a whole, let alone "black social media". I looked at Hughley's Wiki, and it didn't seem to cite any current radio or TV outlets ( altho' he has been quite active there in the last two decades )

Expand full comment

Radio and TV are dead.

Expand full comment

Yet another way I'm out of touch. What about podcasts?

Expand full comment

Podcasts are still alive until AI kills them.

Expand full comment

For anypony who missed the Lincoln Project’s response to Fox News attacking Kamala for cursing.

https://twitter.com/ProjectLincoln/status/1790547645791961341

Expand full comment

The hypocrisy never ends with these disgusting creatures.

Expand full comment

OT: Thi$ CANNOT be repeated often enough!

𝗗𝗲𝗺 𝗹𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗝𝗶𝗺 𝗝𝗼𝗿𝗱𝗮𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 $𝟮𝟬𝗠 𝗼𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 '𝗠𝗔𝗚𝗔 𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗲'

https://www.rawstory.com/jim-jordan-jerry-nadler/

Expand full comment