Liveblogging McCain's S.C. Victory Speech
![Mr. Keating Five](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fwonkette.substack.com%2Fp%2Fmccain-thumb.jpg)
So it only took eight years for John McCain to win the South Carolina primary, hooray! Let's see what the happy old coot has to say.
10: 03 PM -- Lots of dumb love for South Carolina, which totally destroyed him in 2000.
10: 04 PM -- Truth, My Friends, Challenges, Truth, My Friends.
10: 06 PM -- Jesus, McCain's mom is still alive and still looks better than her 89-year-old son. Of course, she wasn't tortured.
10: 07 PM -- A funny thing is that McCain is actually pretty dishonest, and his "honesty" has changed state by state. For instance, in Michigan his honesty was pretty honest: No more jobs, Americans! But then he lost to Positive-Thinking Mitt. And all the sudden McCain was all optimistic about the economy!
10: 08 PM -- Florida! Onward! Hey, do you know who was one of McCain's campaign co-chairs in Florida? Cock-sucking bathroom-goblin Bob Allen, that's who!
10: 09 PM -- If McCain's president, we will all know what it's like to be tortured by the Viet Cong for years and years.
10: 10 PM -- "USA USA USA!" Nothing like a good dumb Homer Simpson chant to show your supporters are idiots.
10: 11 PM -- Wait, my friends, did we all inherit something? Are we rich ?
10: 12 PM -- McCain wants to give the poor and unemployed the impression that he's going to do something for them.
10: 13 PM -- He wants to serve his country "a little while longer." Does he have AIDS?
10: 14 PM -- Good night, Walnuts! Congratulations on a weird win.