Liveblogging Meghan McCain Guest-Hosting 'The View'

Her whole life she'd wondered. How could she, a lively and high-spirited young woman, possibly be the child of a deeply depressed and profoundly lifeless pill addict like her so-called mother? She thought she might have the answer now ...

Daphne Waters, the charming girl reporter who'd been the toast of Manhattan in the 60s and 70s, had once engaged in a torrid romance with Meg's own dashing father. Could Meg, a child of the 80s, also be the child of their love?

11: 02 AM -- Well dammit this Barbara Walters story line isn't going to go anywhere if she isn't on the show today.

11: 03 AM -- Karl Rove isn't just a man. He's a metaphor!

11: 04 AM -- Who's the future of the Republican party? Fuckable Aaron Schock, of course!

11: 04 AM -- Well, we will say this for her: she is pretty corrosive, talking trash about Karl Rove.

11: 06 AM -- "Animals don't torture each other." Who was that, Joy Behar? Meghan McCain is such a Democrat. Just look at the bangs.

11: 07 AM -- This is just weird, that torture is becoming such a common topic of conversation that they are talking about it on the goddamnView.

11: 09 AM -- "I just can't even conceive of having children." That is a pun. All the women onThe Viewhate their children.

11: 14 AM -- Whoopi Goldberg has, on occasion, considered killing her children.

11: 15 AM -- Yep, 15 minutes is about our limit. But the bottom line is this: Meghan McCain talks rillyrillyfast, and she does say "like" altogether too much, but she does make some good points about how awful the Republican party is. We can only regret that: 1) Elisabeth Hasselbeck wasn't on the show for her to argue with; 2) she did not bring up (at least, as of 20 minutes in) the point that all those bitches were so mean to her dad that one time he was on the show; 3) they did not bring up her insane Twitter freak-out. But those three elements combined would have transformed the show fromThe ViewintoThe Morton Downey Jr. Show,so we will just have to live with it.