96 Comments
User's avatar
JustPixelz: IV%'er's avatar

It's inaccurate to associate the there-fifths compromise with the southern racism. When Jesus was writing the Constitution, the southern states wanted slaves to fully count for congressional apportionment. The northern states didn't want slaves counted at all (zero-fifths).

It's Just Toomush's avatar

I've been wondering - when Barry said that, did Boehner turn pail?...

It's Just Toomush's avatar

Such a lot of things to do - she's surveying the field....

Woke Mind Superspreader's avatar

Help! Help! She took away my guns!

Oh wait, sorry, false alarm. They were in the toddler's room, under a pile of teddy bears.

eggs ackly-wright's avatar

With a trans-whoopsie ultrasound.

It's Just Toomush's avatar

Michael Hurley and Tom Waits, please....

georgiaburning's avatar

Making Ted Cruz so mad that he doesn't want to show up is a win for both parties.

Joshua Norton's avatar

Ted Cruz opposed Loretta Lynch, but didn't bother to vote against her. He's worse than an asshole, he's a half-assed-hole.

Mehmeisterjr's avatar

Whew! That's a weight off of my shoulders!

Mehmeisterjr's avatar

SURVEYGHAZIGATE!!!!!!!!!!!11,11!!,11,!11,!!!!!!!!1

chicken thief's avatar

He also too did the dramatic non-filibuster 'filibuster' then voted for the budget or debt ceiling increase or whatever it was but convinced the House Teabaggers to not vote for it, thereby shutting down the government. Which he proudly took credit for, although the one real vote he got to cast would have prevented the gubmint from shutting down.

Mehmeisterjr's avatar

Not so much trapped as self-incarcerated.

chicken thief's avatar

I can hardly wait until everyone starts fucking with him in the debates.

Mehmeisterjr's avatar

He was too busy partying on Fire Island?

dimplasm's avatar

Ted Cruz is like a vacuum. Nothing there, but he sucks real hard.