186 Comments

Lactic acid, muthafucka.

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I made a mistake - it's Target where I buy my cat food. Why did I say it was Macy's? Probably because there's not as much difference as there used to be between them.

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Wear a Saudi style robe?

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Sakowitz/Carolyn Farb?

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Can't believe they ever got away with this. Unreal.

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C'mon and sing it wit me:

"White Power Day at Maaaceeez"

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Jeez, they never do this at Dollar Tree!

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Of course you can say "fuck you" a lot. You're a Rock Drummer!

Geez, didn't you read your employee manual?

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Oh man, when I was a kid, we always went to Marshall Fields for our winter coats.

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Now, in this post-Trump wasteland, it just sounds creepy.

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Like that's a struggle? Go ahead and walk through--it's the same damn stuff you see at Penny's but $20 more. And national image? Are they still trying to ride "Miracle on 34th Street"?

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"In Orellanaโ€™s case, she was detained after merely taking some clothes with her to another floor โ€ฆ of Macyโ€™s."

Or, as it's called for white people, "shopping."

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I didn't work retail too long before I got very good at spotting store security. You see them often enough, and they get real obvious.

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ah! I see : its the law as interpreted by Alice in Wonderland (... er no, I don't see, but there we go)

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Bored document-review attorney. Bear see, bear do.

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