191 Comments
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JohnR's avatar

Does it have a Teflon coating on the barrel so the bacon doesn't stick?

Tiny kaiju's avatar

I vote for "This item is owned by a fool, who bought it from another fool."

Tiny kaiju's avatar

Or the percentage of the gun's market who can read English.

Tiny kaiju's avatar

I thought it was mostly because they wouldn't let him join their beardy men with beards club.

Woke Mind Superspreader's avatar

Blessed are the swiss cheese makers.

Woke Mind Superspreader's avatar

I believe the term for that is "spray and pray."

Woke Mind Superspreader's avatar

Unfortunately for the rest of us, the name of the game is "whoever forces the most people to live by their religion wins."

Nasty Woman Persisted's avatar

The "If God Wills It" setting is actually the random setting. If God wills it for the Mooslim to live, it won't fire, but if God wills all the kids in the classroom to die, it's RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT, until they are all gone.

Incoming Ham's avatar

The stupid isn't just strong, it's like Hercules with this one.

greyXstar's avatar

"Four shalt thou not count. Neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three."

doktorzoom's avatar

Tom Bombadil is a hippie dipwad. So there.

Lefty Mark's avatar

On the third setting, the gun shoots backwards.

Steampunk Gentleman's avatar

Errr - Luke 22:36 - 38

22:36 Then said he unto them, But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one.22:37 For I say unto you, that this that is written must yet be accomplished in me, And he was reckoned among the transgressors: for the things concerning me have an end.22:38 And they said, Lord, behold, here are two swords. And he said unto them, It is enough.

Steampunk Gentleman's avatar

Please remember, lightening bolts bounce and fireballs fill a very large volume. If the GM is nasty no mage uses either in dungeons and it can be very unsafe in forests and woodlands even without the presence of high level druids or vengeful Ents.

"I cast Fireball!"

"You sure? I did say the underbrush was dry"

"Yeah, sure, let them fry!"

"The breeze blows cools the sweat on your brow and you begin to cast - you are still sure?"

"Yeah!"

You know that is the best part of being a GM, seeing the Party run away as fast as possible.

ahughes798's avatar

They only use Latin to make themselves think they know a smart person's furrin language. "Molon Labe" is another fave.