269 Comments

Thank Cthulhu you' didn't mention canned clams!

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Just make this carefully, being sure not to monkey it up.

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substitute pecans for raisins and you have a winner, there

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check out the iris cock dip behind it. it's even the right color

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"Making monkey bread" was Nancy's code term for "fucking Frank Sinatra."

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If you're out of percs can you do a tab of oxy instead?

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No substitutions!

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Ahem. Frankie say RELAX.

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It SAYS 'The funniest new idea on film since "Francis"', but really, Reagan wasn't THAT bad an actor.

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That's why you leave them in the cans, silly.

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It doesn't so much ward off the cold as get the cold too drunk to infect you.

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Wouldn't it be simpler to stop by Timmies and get some ACTUAL donuts?

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'The Moon and Mercury are in trine, and Saturn is ascendant, so add a little extra milk.'

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Do you suppose the Secret Service has to replace his divots?

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Was cinnamon too spicy for the Gipper?

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Why is the humble canned crescent roll never honored? They're a tradition in many non baking families and a great way for little kids to feel like they're helping cook the feast. The thrill of the exploding cans. The race to roll them up before the dough gets too warm. Remembering to get all small hands washed half way through the process.They may not resemble crescents, but they are cute and still taste good. If done correctly the kid will eventually grow up to be the one cooking the bird. Yes, I'm a good mommy!

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