Oh no, it is the Saturday before Father's Day, which is tomorrow, on Sunday, and you have not gotten your dad a present yet! Never fear, for we have all the goodies American dads crave, in the Wonkette Gift Shop and Bar and Grill! It's like Cracker Barrel, but with more socialism.
Welcome to Father's Day, Madonna Rosa Luxemburg X Schoenpixel. You are from now to evermore required to buy that male human you came home with from the Hospital a stupid tie or cologne. Forevermore. You're welcome. Oh, until they trust you with monetary units, a babby smile will suffice. Just make a nice fart and they'll think you're smiling with them. -- Uncle Msgr.
My dad's old school... he's getting an OHJB mug and liking it.
For stepdad, living as he does with my mom, and, thus, constantly exposed to the corrosion of Fox Nooz, the leftiest thing I can actually get him without precipitating a family-sized explosion is fruit.
My dad has more shirts than Andy Williams had sweaters, but I made a meager donation. I'm going to try and write it off as "Mental Health Therapy" since you guys are about all that's keeping me sane anymore.
The four lads are taking us on a picnic tomorrow. Here's hoping they won't be throwing dad on the barbie. And as Steverino247 said, also, too.
Hey Trix, get the Duggar kids to buy one each and you can retire!
Welcome to Father's Day, Madonna Rosa Luxemburg X Schoenpixel. You are from now to evermore required to buy that male human you came home with from the Hospital a stupid tie or cologne. Forevermore. You're welcome. Oh, until they trust you with monetary units, a babby smile will suffice. Just make a nice fart and they'll think you're smiling with them. -- Uncle Msgr.
I got mine! yay!!!!
YAY!!!!!!
Sorry, my Dad's a dick, so I haven't spoken to him for 26 years, much less bought him a shirt. Might have to buy one for me though. Hee.
...do you guys sell anything with a "Passive Agressive" tone?
My dad's old school... he's getting an OHJB mug and liking it.
For stepdad, living as he does with my mom, and, thus, constantly exposed to the corrosion of Fox Nooz, the leftiest thing I can actually get him without precipitating a family-sized explosion is fruit.
Passive is for the weak! Be upfist! Make it so a non-Jedi can feel your anger!
Jokes on you Wonket marketing department - my dad's dead as a Norwegian Blue Parrot.
Maybe he's just pinin' for his Ford.
My dad has more shirts than Andy Williams had sweaters, but I made a meager donation. I'm going to try and write it off as "Mental Health Therapy" since you guys are about all that's keeping me sane anymore.
Happy Father's Day Wonkedads!
A delicate subject handled with good taste.
I certainly hope someone checked to see that he was actually dead before cremating him.
...
Sperm Bank wanker libel!