253 Comments

Truly laugh out loud funny!!!

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Rubio's spin surpasses "This is GREAT NEWS !!for John McCain !" territory.

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"Inconceivable!"

I see what you did there and I love it!

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Kick him with votes. Kick him with no votes. Or something...

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Time for some Grahamentum?

bumper sticker:Miss Lindsey 2016 2.0 -- For All The Lulz

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The Fonz? Eh!

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Someone is feeling like twats now.

http://img.timeinc.net/time...

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Give Kasich time, it takes a while for these guys to become giant losers.

It's not his fault he's not one yet.

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That's only after saying he was winning when he wasn't.

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"Marco Rubio Pulls Out"

There goes breakfast. The Wonkette diet.

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His father should have pulled out.

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SIDENOTE: John Kasich won HIS home state of Ohio, because that’s what you do when you’re not a GIANT FUCKING LOSER.Or even if you are a GIANT FUCKING LOSER.

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This, also too. Harsh, but true.

"During the rest of the campaign, pundits will say it was when Rubio started making penis jokes on the trail that he revealed his shallowness. They’re wrong. His much greater shallowness was revealed when, for more than six months, he stood absolutely silent while Donald Trump berated Americans because of their gender, ethnicity or religion. When it was time to stand up for average Americans, Marco Rubio made the crass political calculation that he risked losing the opportunity to steal Trump voters if he disparaged Trump. All that was necessary for Trump to triumph was for good men to say nothing, and Rubio chose that coward’s course."

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What an age we live in when places like The Onion have more foresight.

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And our friends wonder how we stay so thin.

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