437 Comments
User's avatar
Doktor Zoom's avatar

Reminder: As always, behave yourselves! BEHAVE YOURSELVES! Don't make Yr Editrix turn off the comments, please.

Expand full comment
Stephen St John's avatar

I just want to say, in regard to all these comments, that you guys crack me up.

Expand full comment
Pat Kolmer's avatar

Behave?

"Molly: Are you bad, Johnny? Have you been bad with girls?

Johnny: No… I just don’t know exactly what that word “good” means." - A Summer Place (1959)

Expand full comment
Satanic Pancake's avatar

I am going to need a working definition of BEHAVE, supported by at least three studies, and maybe an 8x10 glossy or two.

Expand full comment
Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

Where's Madden and the telestrator when you need them?

(Yes, I know John Madden isn't currently available.)

Expand full comment
Rags's avatar

With circles and arrows on the back of each one?

Expand full comment
Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

How about an image of a beehive?

Expand full comment
Dr. Rrrrrobotnik's avatar

Guys please stop responding to the pinned comment, to my knowledge there's no way to collapse the comments and it makes it so we have to scroll halfway down the page to see new comments. Thank you.

Expand full comment
Doktor Zoom's avatar

just click the little line below my comment. On a computer, at least. Mobile devices, I dunno.

Expand full comment
Bobathonic's avatar

Works on my iphone cellphone telephone.

Expand full comment
Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

If you have an Android phone, you have to take it back to the dealer and have it restored to its factory settings.

Expand full comment
Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

What? You don't feel and hear the CRUNCH when you get collapsed?

Expand full comment
Satanic Pancake's avatar

Click on the little line coming out of Dok's bottom up there, and it will collapse the pinned comment. At least in the browser. I have never used the SS app, so I have no idea how it works.

Expand full comment
Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

Collapsing the bottom line seems like poor crapitalism.

Expand full comment
Doktor Zoom's avatar

I saw that, LOL

Expand full comment
Dr. Rrrrrobotnik's avatar

Oh god THANK YOU.

Expand full comment
Bobathonic's avatar

"...the little line coming out of Dok's bottom up there..."

<giggles>

Expand full comment
Elviouslyqueer's avatar

*refuses to rule out Rule 34 on this*

Expand full comment
Satanic Pancake's avatar

I was referring to Dok's bottom line in the most chaste terms possible. Nothing financial about it, even. Everybody, leave Dok's bottom alone!

Expand full comment
fair_n_hite_451's avatar

Forget that, I'm thinking of starting a newsletter.

Expand full comment
Mr. Minky's avatar

Click on the long line starting with Dok's avatar. That should collapse the comments.

Expand full comment
Dudley Didwrong's avatar

I always thought that the comments collapsed when someone mentioned canned clams. Must be wrong, but strings from bottoms is getting a little weird. Day drinking may help me.

Expand full comment
Chemical's avatar

FWIW I think you guys have been covering Israel-Palestine issues pretty well.

Expand full comment
Pliny the Younger's avatar

Breaking news: The University of Minnesota has reached a deal with protesters to disband a pro-Palestinian encampment that's been on campus for three days. I don't know at this time what protesters will get in return, but at least cooler heads are prevailing.

Expand full comment
Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

I can just see the entire venue being overrun by legions of "cooler heads." They all say "Igloo" on them.

Expand full comment
Antifa Commander's avatar

Or “Yeti” if they’re fancy.

Expand full comment
Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

Oh, cripes. Get me a latte.

Expand full comment
Brando's avatar

Ok but if you start talking about putting fruit on pizza I cannot be responsible for my words.

Expand full comment
belfryo's avatar

My bugbear is chicken on pizza...don't know why, but it is...And the only fruit that works on pizza is pineapple, but you gotta have the rest of it covered with MEAT

Expand full comment
John Thorstensen's avatar

You all know, of course, what MY favorite pizza topic is -- it's like shouting "fire!" in a crowded theater --- CANNED CLAMS.

Expand full comment
Brando's avatar

All seafood is good on pizza!

Expand full comment
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot's avatar

Our local here in Atlanta had a "Fish Tease" specialty pie with shrimp, scallops, pollock and Fontina, but it rarely got ordered and they eventually dropped it from the menu.

Expand full comment
Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

Say that after trying seaweed on your pizza.

Expand full comment
Edward Bryant's avatar

How is that even legal?!? Hopefully, some RWNJ, I mean, republican congress critter with mark up a bill making seafood on pizzas illegal.

Expand full comment
Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

RWNJ sounds like a Myers Briggs personality type.

Expand full comment
Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

𝕸𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗!

Expand full comment
Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

Tomatoes are a fruit. Tomatoe Ketchup comes from them.

Expand full comment
Tappin Lisa's avatar

So Reagan was wrong on multiple levels when saying that ketchup counts as a vegetable!

Expand full comment
Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

Reagan was wrong on multiple levels all the time.

Expand full comment
Parakeetist's avatar

So, we're putting fruit on fries?

That sounds wrong.

Expand full comment
Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

I like brown or dijon mustard on my fries.

Expand full comment
Caepan's avatar

Elitist!

Expand full comment
Stephen St John's avatar

Even worse, I like mayo on fries.

Expand full comment
Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

I know. I even have bugs fly up my nose.

Expand full comment
Brando's avatar

Ok, but they're a veggie-esque fruit, yes that's a thing.

Expand full comment
Maybe's avatar

Botanically, corn is also a fruit.

Expand full comment
Hemp Dogbane's avatar

Since we put corn syrup on our pancakes.

Expand full comment
belfryo's avatar

wouldn't it be a legume since you're actually eating the seeds? usually the nitpicky definition of fruit is when you eat the fleshy body surrounding the seeds and legumes when you eat the seed itself. But then green beans would be a fruit..hmmm. ..But corn evolved from something much closer to a grain...so confusing...squash, peppers, eggplant, avocados all fruits...LOL...I guess vegetables are just the green stuff...All the cruciferous stuff and tubers

Expand full comment
Parakeetist's avatar

Dammit, WHAT IS CORN?

Expand full comment
Regret's avatar

Corn is a grass with unusually sized reproductive parts.

Expand full comment
belfryo's avatar

https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/11r9cy3/evolution_of_corn_in_the_last_few_thousand_years/

whatever the plant on the left is is m guess...You see what I mean about looking like a grain

Wait...now that I think about it corn IS a grain. LOL I'd forgot that apparently

Expand full comment
Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

Have you tried ketchup made from corn?

Expand full comment
Viole Falusche's avatar

Have tried _mushroom_ ketchup (the original meaning of the word)! I'd say it's better than the tomato stuff. But suspect it'd be hella expensive from a store.

Expand full comment
Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

Can you get magic mushroom ketchup?

Expand full comment
Bobathonic's avatar

I have, but I can't remember hominy times.

Expand full comment
Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

I can remember hominy hominy hominy...

Expand full comment
Pliny the Younger's avatar

And don't get me started on Chicago-style pizza.

Expand full comment
Mr. Minky's avatar

You mean lasagna?

Expand full comment
Caepan's avatar

I like Jon Stewart's description of Chicago-style pizza: "Tomato sauce quiche."

Expand full comment
Brando's avatar

We call it "Italian Pot Pies".

Expand full comment
Bobathonic's avatar

I thought it was a casserole.

Expand full comment
Mr. Minky's avatar

Fruit? Like tomatoes?

Expand full comment
Satanic Pancake's avatar

What the fuck do you have against a good sliced fig with reduced balsamic vinegar and red onions pizza, you monster!?

Expand full comment
Edward Bryant's avatar

Sliced fig, balsamic reduction AND… arugula!

Expand full comment
Brando's avatar

WHERE"S MY WATERMELON AND APPLE PIZZA

Expand full comment
Satanic Pancake's avatar

Some people just have to keep pushing and pushing and pushing and ruin everything for the rest of us, don't they? NO! NO WATERMELON ON YOUR PIZZA! IT MAKES THE CRUST TOO SOGGY!!1!11111!!

Expand full comment
Tina Mouse's avatar

I was expecting Canadians in overalls.

That was not that.

Expand full comment
gnomemansanisland's avatar

I've slipped up before but not on this issue since I stay clear of it.

Expand full comment
Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

No matter how clear you stay, you *will* need hip boots eventually.

Expand full comment
Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

My blood is so heavily fortified with THC right now that I promise to be almost good.

Expand full comment
Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

You can't live with RWAHs and be sober about it.

Expand full comment
Prostate of Dorian Gray's avatar

The "H" is for happy.

Expand full comment
Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

THC = Teh Happy Chemical

Expand full comment
Elviouslyqueer's avatar

Fine, whatever, you're not my Real Dad.

Expand full comment
Stulexington's avatar

Not my real Docktor either, but he still makes sense.

Expand full comment
Jenny Queen of the Vilebloods's avatar

I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU!

Expand full comment
Elviouslyqueer's avatar

We're gonna make mom turn this car around RIGHT THIS INSTANT.

Expand full comment
Marla's avatar

Note to MT Greene: If you're gonna wave the Bible around, you might want to pay attention to the bits about adultery. The Bible condemns that pretty robustly. Leviticus, specifically, has some pretty rancid comments about adultery in it.

And if that's a wee bit too OT for ya, there's always the 10 Commandments, specifically number 7: Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery. For someone who cats around on her husband, you're hardly one to be holding up the Bible and pointing to meaningless garbage about the Jews murdering Christ.

Ahem.

Expand full comment
Teddy Barnes's avatar

Idiots........what happened to freeze peach??????

Expand full comment
Pablo Manríquez's avatar

Smart analysis. Also, I'd missed MTG and Gaetz's opposition on ... Biblical grounds. Bookmarking that for follow-up for when they return to the Hill next week. Thx for posting!

Expand full comment
DemoCat's avatar

On the one hand, it’s important to be informed and a positive force for equality and inclusion. On the other, I’m still naive about why so many people target and vilify Jewish people and black people and Asian people and gay people and other people. Why? I find these pro-Palestine versus pro-Israel camps on college campuses to be very distressing. I don’t know which group is “right,” and I suspect it’s all very complicated. But shouldn’t the US policy be that all people deserve respect, peace and liberty, and the freedom to believe, associate and worship how they please. But if the protests are designed to pressure Joe Biden and the US to finally bring peace to the Middle East, is that realistic? I’m sure it’s easy for me to feel like a neutral outside observer horrified by all of it, without personal skin in the game. I’m sure if I were a Jewish person or a Palestinian, I’d feel very differently. Obliterating people or entire communities of people you disagree with is not the answer, but the phenomenon happens again and again and has always been one of the brutal truths about how fragile peace between humans really is. Brokering peace, and a humanitarian path forward for Palestinians and Israelis should be the policy, it seems to me, but again I’m sure that’s simplistic and uninformed. I’m just grateful every day that my family and I don’t live in that kind of pain.

Expand full comment
Ken_L's avatar

This supposed example of anti-Semitism is particularly objectionable: "Accusing Jewish citizens of being more loyal to Israel, or to the alleged priorities of Jews worldwide, than to the interests of their own nations." It's bleedin' obvious that some Jewish Americans ARE more loyal to Israel than to the interests of America. That's a criticism of the individuals concerned; nothing to do with "hatred toward Jews" in general.

Expand full comment
Jenny Queen of the Vilebloods's avatar

Cool story, antisemite

Expand full comment
Tina Mouse's avatar

The Federal Government already has the right and the responsibility to defund universities for excluding Jewish people.

This bill will not pass the Senate.

It was designed as a show vote.

Must have been a slow news day.

Expand full comment
Robert Eckert's avatar

“could convict Christians of antisemitism for believing the gospel that says Jesus was handed over to Herod to be crucified by the Jews”? She doesn't know Herod from Pilate, because of course she has never read the Bible.

Expand full comment
KEITH TAYLOR's avatar

Spot on true. She has no more read the Bible than Donald Trump has read the U.S. Constitution - which he hasn't. I'm certain she's ignorant, too, that the passages in the Gospels which remove the blame for Jesus's execution from the Romans and transfer it to the Jews are purely political, to sanitise the new religion for the Roman authorities. By the time the Gospels were written it had become clear that Christianity wasn't going to make any real headway among the Jews, and its missionaries would have to go to the pagan Greco-Roman world - that is, the Empire - for their converts. Paul of Tarsus was the perfect man to handle that transition, as a free Roman citizen whose parents had also been Roman citizens, though of Jewish descent. (His various letters to the infant churches were written before even the earliest Gospel.)

The simple facts are that Jesus was tried by the Roman Procurator, condemned by him, and sentenced to die by the Roman method of execution, carried out by Roman soldiers. The furious crowd that supposedly roared "Crucify him!" was unlikely to have been Jewish, because it was the day Passover was to begin, at sundown, and every Jew worthy of the name would have been at home, preparing for the most sacred feast of the Jewish year. Any Jews in that crowd would have been the lowest dregs of their people. And despite the way the Gospels depict Pilate, he was in fact a man who could have condemned a dozen Galilean preachers to the cross in the same week and slept peacefully every night - hard, arrogant, reckless and scornful. The recorded facts of his career bear that out. Had he wanted to free Jesus, he would have done it, and no obstreperous mob would have stopped him. He had six cohorts of Roman infantry at his command to chop any mob whatsoever into dog meat, and the real Pontius Pilate, not the indecisive caricature the Gospels give us, was the man to do just that.

He did do it, on more than one occasion, ending with the massacre of a few thousand Samaritans on their sacred mountain, an outrage which may have gotten him recalled to Rome in disgrace at last.

Or, putting it in a nutshell, the Gospels ain't even close to factual history.

Expand full comment
Manic Pixel Dream Girl's avatar

“The Gospel itself would meet the definition of antisemitism under the terms of this bill!” and that the Bible makes very clear that all Jews remain guilty for the crucifixion, any fool knows that.” - Jesus Christ. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I do, for real, wish to thank Gaetz and Greene for reminding us here, in case anyone somehow forgot, that the reactionary, white nationalist, Christian right are NO friends to the Jews. Them attempting to coopt the campus protests to suit their own agenda is pure, unadulterated, grade A bullshit. They brought up the original blood libel right in the nick of time. So, thanks guys. ::tip of the hat:: Truly.

Expand full comment
Tina Mouse's avatar

Defending herself against charges of hate by repeating a central tenant of that hate was ... special?

And then she did not even deicide libel right.

I thought the ONE THING she was good at was hate.

Expand full comment
Manic Pixel Dream Girl's avatar

She’s not very bright.

Expand full comment
Darth Trad's avatar

MT Cranium will have to wait for another loose Chinese weather balloon to get herself to be relevant again. Or is it 'caravans at the border' season again? Maybe they have a wheel to spin with the words MEXICANS / JEWS / CHINESE / MUSLIMS / BLACKS on it to get their latest talking points.

Expand full comment
Irvin M.'s avatar

MTG was the first openly anti-Jewish Member of Congress when she used the words "Jewish space lasers," a letter perfect anti-Jewish trope. I hate her for that.

Expand full comment
Robert Eckert's avatar

The words she used were "space lasers owned by the Rothschilds" and then she denied it was against the Jews because she had never heard anybody say the Rothschilds were Jewish.

Expand full comment
Clark Nova's avatar

That is such a bullshit definition, ignoring entirely that less than half of Israelis are Semites while Palestinians and almost all of the surrounding nationalities are REAL Semites.

Expand full comment
Kate Stoneman's avatar

It's based on what the word actually means, as coined by antisemites. The attempt to deny what it means is an antisemitic tactoc of suppressing relevant language. It also denies that Jews are "real" Jews based on their appearance. Please don't buy into this Khazar bullshit, it's a long-debunked antisemitic conspiracy.

Expand full comment
Irvin M.'s avatar

Tne Khazar bullshit, as you put it, has historical roots.

Expand full comment
Kate Stoneman's avatar

Yeah, a hundred or so Central Asian people converted to Judaism, and that means Ashkenazi Jews could only be their descendants and should therefore go back to Poland. Right. It's about the same level of historical truthiness as the claim that, since Hitler's grandma once worked for a Jewish family, Hitler could only have been Jewish.

The Khazar bullshit IS bullshit, and motivated by antisemitism.

Expand full comment
Tina Mouse's avatar

We should just call people who hate Jews "haters" or "Jew haters".

Expand full comment
(((What Fresh Hell Is This)))'s avatar

Semite is a language group. 55% of Israeli Jews are Sephardic or Mizrahi, which means they came from MENA countries, Afghanistan, Ethiopia or Turkey. The other 45% are Ashkenazi.

Expand full comment
Irvin M.'s avatar

Can we lose the Semite bullshit? "Antisemitism" is a term invented by German Jew haters in the 1870s that was less vulgar than "Jew hating."

I am as Jewish as all get out, but not "Semitic."My family are from the north of Europe. We have blonde hair and blue eyes.

This is a word that has outlived it's usefulness." Anti-Jewish or Judeophobic are fine. The Semite business has to go.

Expand full comment
Kate Stoneman's avatar

Lots of Palestinians have blond hair and blue eyes. Do you think it would be acceptable to tell them they're not Semitic because they got blond hair and blue eyes? Do you think they'd find it offensive? You're entitled to the same consideration

Expand full comment
Robert Eckert's avatar

Lots of fossilized words don't really make etymological sense, but gratuitous attempts to change the language just don't work.

Expand full comment
Villago Delenda Est 🇺🇦's avatar

Israel's government has been flirting for decades with giving up righteousness by openly embracing making "Greater Israel" 𝘗𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦𝘪𝘯.

Expand full comment
Tina Mouse's avatar

Like here is some Jew hate! See how that is more clear than anti-Semetic?

Expand full comment
Regret's avatar

That's Israel's government hate. You're painting with too broad a brush.

Expand full comment
Robert Eckert's avatar

Don't be absurd. The Palestinians are the most rapidly growing ethnic group in recorded history. If the Israelis really wanted to wipe them out, they would be more competent at it.

Expand full comment
Regret's avatar

Competence is not part of the definition of genocide.

Expand full comment
Robert Eckert's avatar

Intent, however, is. Israelis are quite competent at doing what they want to do. Extincting the Palestinians is obviously not something they want to do. Palestinians are simply projecting, since their leaders have been intending to wipe out the Jews for over a century, but simply are not competent at it.

Expand full comment
Villago Delenda Est 🇺🇦's avatar

Which terrifies Likud.

Expand full comment
Robert Eckert's avatar

The Palestinian growth rate (doubling time under 25 years) has been steady since the creation of Israel, under Labor and Likud governments alike. After all, if they have six or ten children and no means to support any of them, the world's charity will be enlisted to keep them fed. That is why there are over eight times as many people in Gaza as there were in the aftermath of 1948. Ordinarily, from 2000 to 2500 die in the Strip every month, and twice as many are born. In the past seven months, the death rate has averaged 5000 a month, so for the first time in decades the population is down, by a fraction of a percent. This is not an extinction-level event.

Expand full comment
mzf's avatar

Vilago: Not true!

Expand full comment
Cajun Kid's avatar

A thought: What if a Democrat wrote a bill that would deny federal funding to cities or states that permit Neo-nazi, Proud Boys, or other explicitly hateful groups?

Surely no Republican would take issue with that? (Yes, sarcasm.)

Expand full comment
Villago Delenda Est 🇺🇦's avatar

Just the other day Kaitlin Collins shoved that crap back up JD Vance's ass.

Expand full comment
Bupkus231's avatar

I was going to note that the vote HR6090 passed with only 187 Republican votes, with 21 voting against and 8 "not voting" - so they would not have had enough votes to pass this bill without ( some ) Democratic votes. As it is, this bill is not really necessary - the ACLU has stated that there is already a law preventing federal funds going to ANY entity violating anti-discrimination laws that include religious groups.

So, this bill is just another Republican "messaging bill" meant to mollify their idiot voters, and I'm kinda ashamed that 133 Democrats fell for it. Of course, they may have been worried about their re-election chances if they voted against it - 70 Democrats had the balls to stand up against the Republican political ploy

Expand full comment
Pilgrim's avatar

Regarding the Holocaust Remembrance standard, it seems to me that there is a lot of tension between these examples:

* Denying the Jewish people their right to self-determination, e.g., by claiming that the existence of a State of Israel is a racist endeavor.

* Holding Jews collectively responsible for actions of the state of Israel.

It asserts that Jewish individuals collectively have a right to assert themselves as a collective, which they do by moral participation in the nation of Israel, but there is no individual or collective responsibility for the State where that right is being asserted.

[NB this is far from the only place in the world where individual responsibility for collective behavior is being evaded ... ie, White responsibility for American racism, so this should be taken as an application of a "content neutral" objection. Also NB, Jewish individuals participanting in demonstrations are acknowledging and acting on their collective responsibility.]

Expand full comment
Tina Mouse's avatar

Especially if you live in an entirely different country.

Expand full comment