Mark Kelly Is The Man Pete Hegseth Will Never Be. Tabs, Tues., Nov. 25, 2025
Loser.
Somebody said that thing about Mark Kelly on Stephanie Ruhle’s show last night and it was correct so we stole it for the tabs headline.
Anyway, willkommen bei Ihren Tabs!
Every Democrat needs to go on TV and call Pete Hegseth a little bitch, just the way Ruben Gallego did right here:
All your updates on that story later this morning!
Nazi Clownfillers Barbie in the White House says DOJ is going to appeal the dismissal of the Comey and James cases, because “everybody knows that James Comey lied to Congress, it’s as clear as day!” Which is so funny because it’s such an obscure line from his long-ago testimony that they’re fixated on, and their conspiracy theories about him lying are long debunked, and oh fuck it, Karoline Leavitt is an amoral liar who isn’t in possession of a human soul, there’s no point in trying to correct what she says. [Acyn on Twitter]
So this was a hilarious moment on the TV news, where the CNN person was like “let us make discussions about the proposal Donald Trump is releasing today to fix Obamacare HOLD ON WE ARE JUST GETTING WORD that Donald Trump is doing that never.”
Punchbowl News threatened us with a good time yesterday in their newsletter:
[A] few […] GOP members messaged us over the weekend saying that they, too, are considering retiring in the middle of the term.
Here’s one particularly exercised senior House Republican:
“This entire White House team has treated ALL members like garbage. ALL. And Mike Johnson has let it happen because he wanted it to happen. That is the sentiment of nearly all — appropriators, authorizers, hawks, doves, rank and file. The arrogance of this White House team is off putting to members who are run roughshod and threatened. They don’t even allow little wins like announcing small grants or even responding from agencies. Not even the high profile, the regular rank and file random members are more upset than ever. Members know they are going into the minority after the midterms.
“More explosive early resignations are coming. It’s a tinder box. Morale has never been lower. Mike Johnson will be stripped of his gavel and they will lose the majority before this term is out.”
We swear to bejesus, we have joked ON THIS VERY WEBSITE — or if not there, then at least to our friends while drinking — that Hakeem Jeffries was probably going to become speaker before the midterms even hit. If that actually ends up happening, we are signing up for every betting site and LEAVING Y’ALL’S ASS. [Punchbowl]
Sounds like the FBI is actually not amused by FBI Director Kash Patel forcing SWAT teams to babysit his dumb girlfriend and his jetting around to get his dick wet (allegedly) or whatever. [New York Times]
Meet the Guatemalan Pentecostal Christian singers getting kidnapped and deported in Memphis, and now the Trump regime is lying about one of them and saying he’s the “worst of the worst,” when his record is … minor motor vehicle violations. And his little brother’s record is … he has no record. [Institute for Public Service Reporting Memphis]
Read your Timothy Snyder tearing Russia’s handwritten “peace plan” to pieces. [Thinking About …]
And here’s one from Ivo Daalder that focuses on what a real dumbass Steve Witkoff is. [The Observer]
Ever heard of Annie Hall? It is a new film from 1977 that is going places. If you haven’t seen it in a while, or God forbid haven’t seen it ever, please do that. It’s a perfectly fine Thanksgiving movie, people eat in it.
For seriouses, though, we have been watching/rewatching all the Diane Keaton films, and we rewatched that one the other night.
For two others from the more recent years of Keaton’s career, we watched 5 Flights Up, which was cheesy but sweet, and it’s Diane Keaton and Morgan Freeman being retired people looking at New York real estate the whole time, so it’s perfectly lovely. Then we watched And So It Goes, which also has a real estate theme, and costars Michael Douglas, and it sucked, but whatever, Diane Keaton was great, it wasn’t her fault, it was the fault of disjointed, formulaic writing and we guess bad directing, and also Michael Douglas sucked.
Finally, we watched a TV movie Keaton was in circa 1994 called Amelia Earhart: The Final Flight, and it’s about that. Turns out Keaton was VERY Amelia Earhart, even looked quite a bit like her. Spoiler she dies in a plane thingie. Here is the whole film, even though we ruined the ending:
OK, well, now we’re done typing.
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Splish, splash, it’s your hed gif source info: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/cygnets-first-swim
I've seen swans defend their mate and cygnets and they are dirty vicious fighters. Princess Pete would get one hard head butt to his balls and fall like the cardboard cutout he is.