Mary Fallin Personally Aborts All The Little Children In Oklahoma, Will Never Be Trump's Veep Now :(

Has Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin been rifling through Jan Brewer's medicine cabinet? You'll remember former Arizona governor Jan Brewer's bizarre outbreak of sanity, late in her term, when she not only declared she would accept Obamacare's expanded Medicaid but vetoed every single Republican bill until they caved and let Barack Obama give them their stupid free money. And then she said Santa isn't even white!

"Jan Brewer's meds" would be the only way to explain Fallin's weird eruption of sanity Friday, when she vetoed a bill banning abortion in Oklahoma for the tiny, unimportant and totally irrelevant reason that "it was unconstitutional." AS IF!

What does Fallin herself have to say? Some bullshit. Let us check it out!

OKLAHOMA CITY – Governor Mary Fallin, who has a long history of championing and signing pro-life and pro-family legislation, today vetoed a measure that would have banned abortion in the state because the bill was vague and would not withstand a criminal constitutional legal challenge.

Fallin is the most pro-life governor in the nation. She has signed 18 bills supporting pro-life values and protecting the health and lives of mothers and their unborn children.

Senate Bill 1552 would have made it a felony for physicians to perform abortions. It also contained a provision to revoke their medical licenses unless the abortion was necessary to save the life of the mother.

“The bill is so ambiguous and so vague that doctors cannot be certain what medical circumstances would be considered ‘necessary to preserve the life of the mother,’” Fallin said.

“The absence of any definition, analysis or medical standard renders this exception vague, indefinite and vulnerable to subjective interpretation and application,” she wrote in her veto message.

That would seem to suggest that if there were a carve-out that properly defined "life of the mother" ("life of the mother," in wingnutspeak, currently means she feels sad about how she will look in her bikini as she jets off to the south of France), Fallin would break out her pink feather glitter pen and sign that motherfucker up!

“While I consistently have and continue to support a re-examination of the United States Supreme Court’s decision in Roe v. Wade, this legislation cannot accomplish that re-examination,” Fallin wrote. “In fact, the most direct path to a re-examination of the United States Supreme Court’s ruling in Roe v. Wade is the appointment of a conservative, pro-life justice to the United States Supreme Court.”

Or she will just wait for President Donald Trump to nominate the guy who thinks he is a Sith lord, and that guy will strike down Roe v. Wade, and then everybody will be so happy and a million flowers will bloom.

Americans United for Life earlier this year named Oklahoma as the most pro-life state. Oklahoma was one of three states honored by the group for making significant pro-life progress; Oklahoma was selected for enacting legislation found in both the Infants’ Protection Project and Women’s Protection Project. For example, in 2015, Oklahoma, through legislation signed by Fallin, enhanced the potential penalties for violations of its abortion laws and enacted protections for minors considering abortions.

We looked up that last part, it is this:  

Provides criminal and civil penalties for any person causing/aiding a minor to obtain an abortion without parental consent.

Requires abortionists who perform an abortion on a minor who is less than 14 years old to preserve the fetal tissue and send it to the Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation. If the abortionist does not follow these rules, it will be considered a felony. This provision protects young girls from sexual crimes, as Health and Human Services (HHS) has found that 75 percent of girls under the age of 14 who have had sex report having a forced sexual experience. This provision also provides the State of Oklahoma with the tools necessary for successful investigations and prosecutions.

That second part might be protecting girls! That first part means if you take your beloved niece to the evil abortionist because you know your sister and her asshole husband will kick their daughter out to go live with the crunchies in the East Village if they find out she got herself in trouble, you are a felon forever and also will owe fines of up to $100,000 a day. That is very many dollars, and it goes on your permanent record!

Our own mama is pro-life -- actually pro-life, like would totally outlaw it if it didn't mean joining the Republican party -- and yet when a similar parental notification measure was on the California ballot, she blithely voted against it for the simple (and truculent!) reason that "teenagers shouldn't have to tell their parents shit."

Eh, we'll take it.