604 Comments
User's avatar
Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Evan. Liars gonna lie, even when caught, if they have Rs after their names.

Gammarae's avatar

chump change. there's somebody/something else out there that we don't know about. what say you, Wonkette's Attorneys-R-Us-Noncommenters?

Teddy Barnes's avatar

Nailed it! These rich, privileged, White "Christian Conservatives", with their 'Stepford' wives NEVER think they will get caught......and when they do, they just buy their way out....I called this 2 days ago.

Waiting for the other shoe(s) to drop.......

Notreelyhelping's avatar

What? We didn’t even get to the “well, I was really drunk at the time” phase?

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

CPAC's statement tickled me in all the good places. CPAC's financial position is at an historic level of strength? In what universe?

The G-7 Experience's avatar

Yawn...wake me up when Schlappy actually faces consequences from his actions....party of personal responsibility...BAH!

Enter Ranting's avatar

Well, attendance at CPAC was way off this year, so at least there's that.

motmelere's avatar

I am shocked, SHOCKED, that they were so lazy to not find a Harlan Crowe to pay the sex assault victim off. Have these guys never heard of paper trails?

Gammarae's avatar

we do not know, in fact, whether there was such a person(s); all we know is that an insurance company paid off. there may be others.

Enter Ranting's avatar

What a shame that these Conservative leaders are taking all the Republicans' money to cover their sexual abuse and crime-committing. Will they have any money left to run campaigns for 2024?!

Khavrinen's avatar

It would be such a shame to go through an entire election season without having to listen to Republicans' scaremongering attacks blaring from our TVs/radios 3-5 times during each commercial break, wouldn't it?

Priceofcivilization's avatar

They are working to assure they get the presidency. They just don’t care about the vote. Like in 2000 and 2016 they plan to lose the popular vote but win the election.

Lefty Wright's avatar

The second I saw the statement specifying he was not paid by Schlapp or his organization I knew he had been paid by someone or some organization. Otherwise he would have given a blanket denial saying "I was not paid to drop this lawsuit." By being so specific he was admitting a pay off by another party.

zb23's avatar

it was so painfully transparent. yet they know their gullible rubes will buy it 100% and repeat it uncritically. (because they are gullible morons.)

Enter Ranting's avatar

"I was definitely not paid by these two obvious sources! TOTAL EXONERATION!"

Mike's avatar

That screen grab of Schlapp could be an amusing meme, of you know what I mean and I think you do. Amazing that the religious hypocrites who can't suppress their own horniness and have start grabbing and shit, run an organization dedicated to suppression of every human behavior not allowed in their Classics Illustrated Bible edition.

Frank Lee's avatar

If this happened once -- and it did -- it'll happen again. Matt doesn't seem like a guy who either learned his lesson or can keep his hands to himself.

Craig Nixon's avatar

Pummeled Junk is today's band name...so far.

OrdinaryJoe's avatar

If Schlapp's parents had a real sense of humor they would have named him after Nixon.

Fredric L. Rice's avatar

Republican Christians are such filth

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Way up there on the list of people I wouldn't leave kids with.

RefillingThorsBeer's avatar

Peter Piper Pummeled Peter, Pays Piper.

RefillingThorsBeer's avatar

Reminds me of something a shock jock here in Flarduh used to say about dangling boys...

"The Schlapp Schlapp Schlapp of the Doodads!" - Nino Greasmanelli a.k.a. The Greaseman.

Enter Ranting's avatar

He was a DJ in D.C. when I was a kid.

Worriedman's avatar

Yesterday on Newsmax Matt Schlapp describe the crew of the container ship that ran into the bridge in Baltimore as “drug-addled”

Today on another website, I described Matt Schlapp as " dick-addled."

Just to be fair about things.