MAXINE WATERS, YOU STOP HURTING THE DAILY CALLER'S RACIALLY TRANSCENDENT MLK DAY FEELINGS RIGHT NOW!

Hurts Daily Caller's feelings

It is Martin Luther King Day, which means white conservatives are hitting the streets to tell us MLK was a conservative and that this day of remembrance should not be politicized, because like did Dr. King even pay attention to politics? Pfffffffffft. The Daily Caller, which was started by white supremacist Tucker Carlson, is particularly upset with Rep. Maxine Waters, a known black lady, who made MLK Day all political and thus interrupted the Daily Caller's white serenity, by sending these relatively uncontroversial tweets:

LAND SAKES OH MY STARS FETCH ME MY SMELLING SALTS ALL THE WHITE PEOPLE HAVE NOW DIED OF CONSUMPTION!

So anyway, what Waters said is just true. If King were alive today, he'd be leading the charge against the white supremacist neo-Nazi sympathizer in the White House, and conservatives wouldn't be pretending to care about his legacy like they do now, because they still would be fighting against him. (Because they're racist!)

The Daily Caller reports the story pretty straight, except for how its entire premise, that Waters is "politicizing" a man whose life's work was inherently and completely political, is full of shit. Of course, that's usually how that particular website works -- fairly straight reporting, letting the bigoted ALL CAPS NON-SPELLER commenters say the outright nasty stuff.

The site goes on to report that Elizabeth Warren politicized MLK by calling Donald Trump an "openly racist president," which, SPOILER ALERT, he fucking is. 

In other corners of online wingnuttia, Drudge is having a conniptionlinking to a story from the   Washington Free Beacon , which is having a conniption about how Reverend Al Sharpton, at an MLK Day breakfast, apparently gently alluded to President Big Macs being a bit of an oinker, which is unfair because A) the president is in perfect health, according to a (possibly faked) White House statement citing Dr. "Ronnie" Jackson, who gave the president his physical, and whose name is actually spelled "Ronny," and B) conservatives NEVER made fun of Al Sharpton back in the days when he was a larger 300-pound gentleman, no not ever, conservatives are sweet and lovely and do not fat-shame, ever .

(For the record, according to The Google, Al Sharpton is often mean about people's weight ever since he lost his own 129 pounds, and AL SHARPTON SHOULD STOP THAT. Wonkette obviously has a perfect record on this.)

But perhaps the best example of online caterwauling about the "politicization" of MLK Day came in an opinion piece from Fox News, and, LUCKY FOR YOU, our next post will feature Doktor Zoom yelling loudly about it.

Stay tuned!

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[ The Daily Caller ]