Like a bad horror movie franchise, he will always be resurrected for the sequel. Like Detective Mark Hoffman taking over for Dr John Kramer (I have always wondered what a tonsillectomy from him was like?) there will be immortality.
They will freeze Trump’s brain.
Maybe Lachlan Murdoch? (Or is that Succession/the White Lotus?) Maybe (just spitballin here) Kristi “Dog Killer” Noem?
The scary thing is that he'll have more "children" than any of us: the traumatized children enduring every pain possible. This is gonna show up again in the next generation. Not all of them. But... clearly even one is too many.
This is unhinged in the best way. The slow slide from “grateful businessman” to full-on devotional smooch attempt is chef’s kiss. When politics turns into romance fan fiction, you know satire doesn’t have to work very hard.
Mr Legum, please write another Dame Peggington Noonan piece. It is critical spiritual nourishment for many of us, epecially now that Rod Dreher is in Europe writing for the Free Press (another reason to hate Bari Weiss and Larry Ellison) behind a paywall, and now that David Brooks has stopped wearing a shower curtain around the house, has gained even more weight, and has developed a drinking problem on The PBS Newshour in his white toupee. (Jonathan Capehart just looks at him the way Chris Wallace used to look at Britt Hume. Why do conservatives become drunks when they get old?)
Anyway, speaking of drinking problems, I understand that even conservative opinionists are remarking on Peggy Noonan’s fantasy voters who live in fantasy America, a land of flags waving and truck tires squealing and gunshots cracking during open season on unicorns.
Please, please, you must stage an intervention for her before ICE deports Manolo and she is left bereft with her Brandy Manhattans and her OxyContin. Please, Mr Legum, we need you.
This just in: He has no lips.
Presented without comment..
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVE6ExWjX5F/
Dear Penthouse,
You'll never believe what happened to me at the steel factory...
Like a bad horror movie franchise, he will always be resurrected for the sequel. Like Detective Mark Hoffman taking over for Dr John Kramer (I have always wondered what a tonsillectomy from him was like?) there will be immortality.
They will freeze Trump’s brain.
Maybe Lachlan Murdoch? (Or is that Succession/the White Lotus?) Maybe (just spitballin here) Kristi “Dog Killer” Noem?
The scary thing is that he'll have more "children" than any of us: the traumatized children enduring every pain possible. This is gonna show up again in the next generation. Not all of them. But... clearly even one is too many.
Sorry, mr. president, he misunderstood. We TOLD him to kiss your ass. Exactly.
This is unhinged in the best way. The slow slide from “grateful businessman” to full-on devotional smooch attempt is chef’s kiss. When politics turns into romance fan fiction, you know satire doesn’t have to work very hard.
The Sir Story to end all Sir Stories.
Mr Legum, please write another Dame Peggington Noonan piece. It is critical spiritual nourishment for many of us, epecially now that Rod Dreher is in Europe writing for the Free Press (another reason to hate Bari Weiss and Larry Ellison) behind a paywall, and now that David Brooks has stopped wearing a shower curtain around the house, has gained even more weight, and has developed a drinking problem on The PBS Newshour in his white toupee. (Jonathan Capehart just looks at him the way Chris Wallace used to look at Britt Hume. Why do conservatives become drunks when they get old?)
Anyway, speaking of drinking problems, I understand that even conservative opinionists are remarking on Peggy Noonan’s fantasy voters who live in fantasy America, a land of flags waving and truck tires squealing and gunshots cracking during open season on unicorns.
Please, please, you must stage an intervention for her before ICE deports Manolo and she is left bereft with her Brandy Manhattans and her OxyContin. Please, Mr Legum, we need you.
Sir Gary, I await your letters with furrowed brow. Out yon window it came for me and I received it on my cheek. I remain in your debt.
It would be awesome to see multiple stories with pictures of him with various men speculating if this guy was the one who wanted to kiss him so badly.
Wins the Web if it worms its way into a speech.
Donald Trump continues to be the weirdest of all weirdos. How is it that people can't see this?
“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.” Hunter Thompson. Also the Killer Sheep have joined forces with The Shadow People.
" I could peck your cheek, just like a little bird. "
COMEDY GOLD
This Pete Shelley song seems like an appropriate song for this. It actually reached number 4 in Australia and number 6 in Canada.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSrGvjTuNRI
I laugh so I do not cry.
Sometimes people cry from laughing so hard.
A sensible plan for a sane tomorrow.
[clears throat]
The odds of Donald the Orange Turnip dropping a nuke on Denmark, over a low turnout for his state of the union address, are low, but not zero.
Thank you.
Will any D'Rat toss a full doggo poo bag at the orange one during his address?