Meee-ow! Hot Virtuecrat S&M Rumors!

If we had known how much hilarity could come out of tossing out accusations that Bill Bennett visited a dominatrix, we totally would have run with the torrent of anonymous emails we got on the subject. Sadly, the Gawker Media Empire Legal Adviser (a.k.a. this guy in Denton's building who's watched a lot of "Law and Order") told us we should probably lay off, unless we wanted "call Bill Bennett for comment" . . . whatever that means. (Seriously: "Call Bill Bennett for comment"! We're dying.)

In any case, Calico Cat has been beating the Bennett "scoop" like it was a hypocritical morals czar. Or something.

The story's probably just another gerbil-stuffing old reporters' tale, but this one does have a dyslexic B&D evangelist willing to trash-talk the Cat's eagerly entrepreneurial coverage:

you know why you'll never make it as a big time internet gossip columnist because you're crude-you have no style. -your shameless self promotion speaks volumes about you. . . . you're just the typical frustrated submissive male tryin' far to hard to cover up his god given deficiency. . . . All the of phony posturing in the world couldn't hide it- your last e-mail to me sounds like a 14 year old boy wrote it-"you were mean to me, Leola."

The Cat also "broke" a bunch of really hot -- and though less well-sourced -- stories about Washingtonienne, the scandal that taught him a valuable lesson: "Marketing, plus writing about what people want to read about, especially if few others are writing about it, is what leads to high readership." (We're totally writing that one down.) Not that the Cat wasn't a savvy marketer previously. Really, it takes a particular sort of genius to come up with this strategy for naming your blog: By using the domain calicocat.com,

I will capture the attention of hundreds of people daily doing Google searches for calico cats. Some of them will see The Calico Cat come out on top of the search engine results and click on it. Instant visit. Will they stick around and read anything? I don't know, but if 10% find something interesting, I could quickly gather a pretty big readership.

You're on your way there, Cat, you're on your way.

 Bill Bennett's dominatrix speaks again. Calico Cat exclusive! [Calico Cat]

 The free market of blogs [Calico Cat]

 About the blog [Calico Cat]