Meghan McCain Joins The Circus, And Mark Foley Has A New Radio Show, 'What Are You Wearing?'
What doesMEGHAN McCAINwant to be when she grows up? An astronaut? A syndicated Twitterer? Balderdash! Meghan dreams of a simple life in the circus, as a lion tamer or a contortionist or something. But Meghan is already surrounded by clowns!CINDY McCAINcan walk on her hands whilst farting the Pledge of Allegiance. Not even the most accomplishedCARNYis capable of such feats ...
SCRUMPTIOUS HEARSAY: Politico's prized pornographerKIKI RYANdesperately wanted an "upskirt" ofREP. DEBBIE SCHULTZ (D-FLA), but alas! Poor Kiki had to settle for a voyeuristic photo of Debbie's Chuck Taylors instead. Beggars aren't choosers! ... Republican Rain ManED GILLESPIEmight consider removing minorities from Republican caging lists, but only if they promise to vote forPALIN/BECK '12... What erotic treasures doesANTONIN SCALIAhave locked away in his spank bank? If you guessed "aMARISA TOMEIDVD box set" -- the same dreamy box setBARACK OBAMAgaveGORDON BROWNfor Yom Kippur -- you are correct ...
JESSE HELMS SIGHTING: With tears rolling down his cheeks,SEN. JAMES INHOFE (R-OK)described retiring senatorMEL MARTINEZas the most beloved legislator sinceJESSE HELMS! Inhofe then began to sing Helms's favorite Jazz standard, Deutschland über alles ...
Holy Guacamole!MARK FOLEY (14/M/FL)has a radio show! And please stop leaving messages on Mark's answering machine asking him if he is gay. A lady never tells.
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