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Zyxomma's avatar

Thanks for that.

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Kay Baumgartner's avatar

A little ditty I penned that was precipitated by, but not actually about, li'l Kim:

Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure: A TragicWaltz

(inspired by a Molly Ivins essay, "Lubbock: 'Her TeethAre Stained But Her Heart Is Pure'")

Her teeth were stained, but her heart was pureShe hearkened to heavenly lawAnd ev'rything sinful she did abjureExcept the occasional chaw.

[chorus:]Except the occasional chaw, O LordExcept the occasional chawAnd J.T.S. Brown when she's down, dear Lord;Light whorin' when mad at her paw.

She cleaned up her person for Sunday schoolAnd put on a dress of pure whiteThe preacher spoke sweet; he was God's own toolAnd then he defiled her that night.

[chorus:]And then he defiled her that night, sweet LordAnd then he defiled her that nightAnd God's name in vain did he take, sweet LordWhen she gripped him ever suh tight.

Our lass got it on with ol' Colonel JonesAnd the paper route boy name of ClydeYou'd think she'd've fractured them brittle bonesBut no; it was young Clyde who died.

[chorus:]Died happy? well, maybe, but dead is deadAnd twelve's a mite young for the grave;I spotted her giving a goalie headBefore he dove in for the save.

Now this would be common depravityAnother sad story of sinBut this is a tale of great gravityA moral is hidden within.

[chorus:]For, making free use of democracyShe protested marriage for gays;'Twas pure Bible-thumping hypocrisy – She held the state record for lays.

[chorus:]On faithful gay couples this girl would pinAn undeserved badge of disgrace;When you break commandments like Earl breaks windPrepare to get cum on your face.

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