Mercede Johnston Has Awesome New Hairdo, Is Forbidden From Insulting Palins

If you are not following MercedeJohnston.com, your number one source of Johnston-related news, then you, my friend, are not following life. How, for instance, can you be keep up with the latest details of the custody arrangements Levi and Bristol have made overTrack TankTripp? How will you know about the latest Bristol-Mercede Facebook drama? How will find out about what appears to be Mercede's new haircut, or perhaps a picture of someone who looks vaguely like Mercede but has different hair? What's that, you say? You'll just read about it all on your Wonkette? Oh, OK, you win this round. This round. 

Anyway, Levi and Bristol have this custody agreement where Levi gets to see li'l Tater from 9: 00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. on on Saturdays from 12:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. Apparently no overnight visits are allowed because the chances that Levi's dwelling will burn down during any particular sleepy-Levi period are above acceptable levels. Also, Levi's child support payments are based on a salary of $72,000 a year, which made your editor cry bitter, bitter tears.

Also in the agreement is this clause:

The parties agree that they shall not allow the child to visit with, or interact with, any family member who publicly ... or in front of the child, criticizes the other parent or the other parent's family.

Is this clause aimed specifically at MercedeJohnston.com proprietor Mercede Johnston? If so, she, Like Jesus, suggests that Bristol first remove the beam from her own eye, on Facebook, before getting restraining orders against motes in the eyes of others:

How is it that the agreement states no family is allowed to say critical things about the other family in front of child, when all Bristol does is spy on me in an attempt to find something bad that she can use against me to start drama over on Facebook? Lately it seems that all she has been doing is attempting to add all my friends to her Facebook account, and snoop around in the comments I leave them, or look through the pictures I share, hoping there is something bad in them. But unfortunately for her, there isn’t.

But hey Bristol if you are so interested in what I am up to, and who I am talking to, just send a friend request. I would gladly add you, and then you do not have to skulk around Facebook anymore.

And that is your update on the adventures of the New American Camelot for today! The best part is that we were of course pointed in this direction by Andrew Sullivan, who seems to follow the whole situation with the same intense seriousness that marks his coverage of, say, U.S. torture policies. (Your Wonkette writes 500-word posts on the subject, but we add Blingees because we are "detached" and "ironic".) [ Immoral Minority / MercedeJohnston.com / The Daily Dish ]