Merry War On Christmas From All the Governors!
If the Tennessee Guv's holiday card was so much fun, surely some other governors sent out cards worth mocking! Here's what our Exclusive War On Christmas Investigation has found:
North Dakota Governor John Hoeven sent this nostalgic card from the 1970s:
![War is over, if you want it, hare krishna, hare hare ...](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fwonkette.substack.com%2Fp%2Fnd70s.jpg)
Hoeven's lovely young daughter went on to star in "One Day at a Time" and marry rocker Eddie Van Halen.
We've got a lot more, including another lousy governor's "painting," after the jump.
Here's incoming guv Martin O'Malley of Maryland with his family and a stuffed dog they carry around as a talisman:
![Watch out, Jenna and Barb!](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fwonkette.substack.com%2Fp%2Fmarylanddaughters.jpg)
Remember these girls, because we have a hunch they'll be rockin' Georgetown before long.
Next up, an alleged "painting" by California's Arnold Schwarzenegger. According to Statehouse.org, Arnold "broke out his paint brushes to create the Christmas tree image on his card -- similar to the festive fir he painted for his 2005 card."
![Which lucky kid gets the Pet Chicken this year?](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fwonkette.substack.com%2Fp%2Fcaliarnold.jpg)
While he can't paint a simple fucking box, Schwarzenegger is a genius when it comes to multiple, complex fonts.
Finally, here's the bizarre offering from Michigan's Jennifer Granholm -- rife with occult symbolism and apparent Crips and/or Bloods gang signs:
![A shadow is cast wherever he stands, stacks of green paper in his red right hand](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fwonkette.substack.com%2Fp%2Fmichiganjen.jpg)
You're one microscopic cog in her catastrophic plan, designed and directed by her Red Right Hand.
Greetings From the Governors [Stateline.org]